What are you, dying of some wasting disease ?
No, l'm right -- l'm right here.
l know exactly where your body is.
What l'm lookin' for is some indication of a brain.
Too much football without a helmet ?
Hah ! Lyndon's line on Gerry Ford.
Deputy Debriefer, Paris Peace Talks, '68.
Snagged the Silver Star and a silver bar. Threw me into G-2.
G-2 ?
lntelligence, of which you have none.
[ Yelling ] Where you from ?
Um, Gresham, Oregon,
s-- Colonel.
What does your daddy do in Gresham, Oregon ?
Hmm ? Count wood chips ?
Uh, my stepfather and my mom run a convenience store.
- How convenient ! What time they open ? - 5:OO A.M.
- Close ? - 1:OO A.M.
Hard workers.
You got me all misty-eyed !
So, what are you doin' here in this sparrow-fart town ?
l, l-- l attend Baird.
Attend Baird !
l know you go to the Baird school.
Point is, how do you afford it,
even with the student aid and the folks back home hustlin' corn nuts ?
[ Sigh ] l won a, uh, Young America merit scholarship.
Whoo-ah !
# Glory, glory Hallelujah #
- [ Knocking ] - Who's there ?
- [ Knocking ] - That little piece of tail ?
Get her outta here !
[ Girl Giggling ]
Yeah.
Can't believe they're my blood.
l.Q. of sloths and the manners of banshees.
He's a mechanic, she's a homemaker.
He knows as much about cars as a beauty queen,
and she bakes cookies, taste like wing nuts.
As for the tots, they're twits.
How's your skin, son ? l like my aides to be presentable.
Well, l -- l've had a few zits.
Um, but my roommate, he lent me his Clinique because he's from --
''The History of My Skin,'' by Charles Simms.