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First of all, hope those of you that celebrate had a wonderful Christmas and happy holidays, and that you have made peace with
2018 and are looking forward to the new year.
I went to Disney World in Florida the other week, making it my third visit in my lifetime,
the other two being almost two decades ago. I went with my girlfriend, Claire.
[Female's voice] yEs, wE are sTilL togEtheR dEsPite tHe rEcEnt video I mAde.
[Back to normal voice]And we had an amazing time.
What I don't understand is why people bring their babies and very young children to Disney World
who haven't developed the cognizant ability to even understand the experience, let alone remember them.
I asked some of you if you've gone during that age range and the majority of you have said that you either don't remember Jack...
...not Sparrow,
I meant you don't remember anything, or you have vague memories of things that had nothing to do with Disney World,
but took place in the parks. I get it, children under three go in free
so, sure, you save a bit of money.
But from what I've seen in the five days
I was there, a lot of those children just end up being
carry-on luggage for annoyed parents, and you know that trip is for the parents and not the kid with the lack of awareness
but, you could've taken the kid to the park and had a blast and it would have been free!
But, now, you've got to push them on strollers through large crowds,
constantly protect them from the Florida heat and humidity. Unless you go in December like I did it was actually pretty chilly, what the heck?!
And if you're not on strollers,
You need to hold on to them like a lifeline tether as if you're in space
because you know if you let go or look away for a second, they'll drift into one of many black holes.
Babies and kids enjoy immediate short-term entertainment.
I'm just saying they'd get more out of Disneyworld if they were a little older. Tower of Terror is a ride
I fondly enjoy because I have never gone through without a kid crying by the end of it. If you're not familiar with the ride,
it's nicely contained in this hotel type building. Unlike a roller coaster,
you can't really see what the ride is like just from looking at the outside.
...actually, a lot of Disney rides are like that. they're indoors and...
...dark and...
...Full of lies!! Those are giant fans to make it feel like you're moving faster than you really are.
But anyway, you can maybe guess what happens when the windows occasionally open and you hear the fading screams of the riders.
So we went on the ride and, sure enough, a little girl was shooketh to the bone afterwards,
and while the parents were trying to console her, knowing she probably wouldn't want to go on any thrill rides for the rest of the trip,
Claire and I are already in line for slinky dog.
Disney World maybe catered to kids, but I believe it's actually for everyone who is a kid at heart. And while you can find something to do at the park for all ages,
it's difficult to choose what you wanna do when your group contains different interests.
Thrill rides, shows, parades... Whether you like it or not, you're gonna have to compromise.
We were in line for one of the rides, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and some random kid suddenly appeared in front of us.
We've been in line for almost 30 minutes, and we've been familiar with who was behind and in front of us, and this kid was
definitely not in their parties. He didn't seem panic being alone,
so he wasn't lost. Probably got distracted by the interactive contraptions in line and got pushed back.
This was a kid who was fine being alone.
We later crossed paths again and see him reunited with his family.
And despite how annoying he was in line and how he had B.O, I kind of felt bad that he had no one to go on the ride with.
And that's what I meant about compromising.
I'm glad that the first time I went, I was about 11 years old.
My sisters were maybe 9 and 14. We were the prime age for park enjoyment.
My parents didn't have to push us around in strollers, they didn't have to change our diapers,
we were tall enough to go on all the thrill rides, and despite there being other alternatives for those who don't meet those requirements,
You know a lot of those rides are what made your money's worth.
I lost count with the amount of times Claire and I were waiting in line and I'd overhear a kid complain, "Mooom" or "Daaad"
"What's taking so long?" and mom or dad would reply with:
"Sorry, honey. Lines are a part of Disney World.
And if you want to go on the rides, you're gonna have to wait." and then sometimes the kid would rebuttal with,
"Ugh. I never want to come back here."
What the heck- do you know where you are?!
See, here's the thing with bringing your kids to Disney World. They don't understand the cost of the experience.
They don't understand the organisation you put into the trip to make it worthwhile. They don't understand why you're staying at the inn
that's a 30 minute drive away from the park instead of being picked up by magic carpet from a penthouse suite
overlooking Cinderella's castle across the lake. And I'm not saying to guilt-trip your kids into understanding what
patience and gratitude is. I'm just saying it sucks to have to deal with that kind of immature
misunderstanding in a place that's all about good vibes.
You don't want to have to convince your kids why they should enjoy being in Disney World...
But those parents were right.
Most of Disney World is spent waiting. Waiting for a bus, waiting in lines, waiting for fireworks, waiting for the restroom...
What people don't realize is that his name has been a type of this whole time,
it's actually WAIT Disney.
But more often than not, the wait is worth it. Their fast past system is very manageable and
convenient and now, they have an estimated wait time indicator at the end of the lines and on their Park app
Which updates pretty often, so we were able to easily plan our ride sequences to get as much of the day as we could.
But even that wasn't exactly foolproof because I remember waiting in line for the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, no Fast Pass
and we were maybe an hour in, and the wait time stated it would be 90 minutes
so we figured all right, cool,
30 minutes to go.
And then, one of the ride clerks start making their way down the line briefly giving an explanation to those he passed
and ... it didn't look like good news. Ride's probably broken. And then he gets to us and explains that,
"Okay folks, it'll probably be another two-hour wait. Uh, the ride's not broken,
uh, people are just slow to get on and off because it's after lunch and people are digesting. Poison apples, am I right?"
Huh? What was that, come again? You're kidding... right?
I better see a pile of corpses by the time I get to the ride if you're gonna tell me INDIGESTION
is the reason I'm gonna wait another two hours.
I'd rather you say the Seven Dwarves animatronics became sentient and
YEETED the cart off the rail than try to fathom the idea that that many people are
simultaneously having stomach aches.
Despite this rant,
I believe most families do enjoy their time at Disney World, even with young kids.
Walking around the parks and looking past the whiners,
I'd catch glimpses of innocent excitement and a true belief in magic from not only the kids, but adults as well.
Being much older than when I went the first times,
I got to experience Disney World differently, but still appreciated the enchanted environments that the parks provided.
Observing other adults during the rides, shows, and other entertainment,
I found that even those who didn't seem to be kids at heart we're able to find magic around them.
YEETED
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I highly recommend Final Space
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Enjoy, and Happy New Year!