I wanna just right now show you six signals or red flags that you have to
pay attention to to avoid ending up with someone who is not comparable to you
the first one is when you start dating without getting over your ex you
typically are going to make a wrong decision anytime you're going into the
relationship with someone and you didn't take at least 12 months for separation
emotionally and with your heart to disconnect completely one of the biggest
mistakes people make is when the relationship ended and things didn't
work out they right away look for a band-aid to put a healing on that hurt
hurting heart and they go to the next relationship in reality they're not
looking for love they're looking for healing and so the person that you might
be dating is actually you're not dating them you are their band-aid until they
truly recover and when you recover you usually throw away the band-aid and
they'll dump you the same way they dumped the other why because they needed
you during the healing and you get hurt you're like man but I thought they loved
me they were hurting and you were so insecure because you're nothing going
down in your life so you were really like oh they need me makes me feel good
you're identity is not supposed to be in the fact you're needed it but in the
fact you're loved by God com-on somebody
when an instrument stops playing music the strings do not get disconnected
right away when the relationship ends that does not
mean the strings are detached it takes minimum from 6 to 12 months for your
emotions to bounce back most of wrong relationships I've seen
and you will witness and if you've ever made a mistake you will find out this
rule was broken people break up and two months later they quickly go into some
other relationship instead of taking time to pause
what went wrong to pause and to ponder so that their heart gets healed so they
don't go into a band-aid but they go into something that God called them to
do number two is when you date someone who believes in God but they don't
follow Jesus Christ believing in God is not enough demons believe in God and
they're still going to hell and they not only believe in God the Bible says they
tremble the person you're dating don't even tremble they just believe in God so
it's better to date a demon because demons at least tremble mm-hmm but you
don't wanna date a demon you want to date somebody that God has for you are
you with me and for that to happen as a Christian you got to look not only
do they believe in God do they follow Jesus Christ the statistic says
that a divorce is sliced in the half for those people who have these three things
in common they go to the same church together they share the same theology
meaning if you believe is speaking in tongues they believe is speaking in
tongues because if they believe in miracles and the other one doesn't
believe in miracles you're gonna have friction and so they have same theology
so divorce rate is completely different for those who go to the same church who
believe in the same theologian thirdly they practice their faith outside of the
walls of the church so they're not just Catholic on Sunday and alcoholic on
Saturday but they're practicing their faith and there are many Christians who
do the same thing they come on Sunday Jesus and they do exactly same moves on
the club on Friday that's not that's gonna you're gonna fall into the same
statistic as the world because you're no different in the world the only
difference you just put a spiritual makeup and a cover on but you're a fake
Christian but when you marry a genuine believer and you are a genuine as well
and these three things are in place your relationship is not gonna be like the
rest of the relationship even in church because you go under the lordship of
Jesus Christ can somebody say Amen how to avoid ending up with the wrong person
the third one is when you ignore your gut your gut when your God tells you to
okay let's just focus on the number three then when you expect a marriage to
fix the person I already kind of mentioned that how to avoid ending up
with the wrong person is to don't and don't marry someone don't even date
someone that you're hoping will change after you get married and guys can be
such a liars I will change
I'll stop dealing drugs just get married to me
listen if they never stop dealing drugs because of Christ you are not Jesus
they'll never stop doing anything for you the only reason I'm
looking at porn is because I don't have intimacy in my life but when we get
married I promise porn will be out of the window the reason why you look at
porn is because you're looking at porn period although the only reason why I'm
still doing this I'm hanging out with my old friends it's because I'm no no no no
never marry someone who promises to change after you get married
a sidenote marriage don't change people marriage reveals people if the person
you are with has a messy car they can only change temporarily so that you will
go on the dates with them but when you marry the car will be more messier than
you ever see in your life they will drive worse than they ever drove in
their life because now they got you they don't have to they don't have to pursue
you they can relax and be who they are whom you thought they'll change are you
with me number four when your gut tells you this is not right
when you are in the relationship and you have no peace about it and your gut says
run not after them from them and there's one thing about your peace there's
one thing about your heart in your consciousness you can shut people down
you can block people on your phone you can never go to your parents house
because they're reminding you that you're making wrong decisions you can
switch churches because you know that the pastor doesn't approve that you're
doing what you doing you can do whatever you can run from everyone you can't run
from yourself and see and God uses your spirit and your conscience as a
communication point the spirit of a man is a lamp of the Lord means if God wants
to get the message across he troubles you it gives you no peace he creates
tension that's why I tell single people pay attention to your tension because
it's the way God might protect you it's the way that God might guide you in your
relationship don't ignore your conscience don't ignore the fact that
you don't have peace about it look but everything looks right but it feels
wrong and the women specially they got that feeling worked up so good if a
woman says that you can expect trouble I would encourage
every woman here follow your intuition if your intuition is submitted to the
Holy Spirit now if your intuition is not submitted to the Holy Spirit and submit
it to the Holy Spirit because if you follow your gut but your gut doesn't
follow your gut then you will end up in a rut are you with me the Bible says
don't follow your heart why because our heart has to be submitted to God we
follow God but God uses sometimes are heart to communicate to us
I know Oprah says that you have to follow your heart my God tells us to
follow the Lord and because I'm following the Lord he's able to
communicate to me by taking away my peace so that I could pause and ponder
and see could it be a different way that I might go are you with me number five
how to avoid ending up with the wrong person is that when your mentors don't
support you in this now there are mentors in your life and there are
tormentors in your life I'm not talking about the haters right now I'm talking
about the people who love you people who genuinely care for you and you meet with
them or people that you respect people that are not just gonna be like
whoever says they'll agree with popular opinion but they'll tell you the
truth even if you don't like it they're not winning your approval they know they
already won that and they will give you the feedback
they won't reject you for that they were just simply saying no I don't know I
just I just if they see I just it's the time to go pray fast this is a time to
say blessing you know what God that's it because they might be seeing something
you don't they might be seeing something you will only see six months after you
got married and you realize maybe it's too late you gotta pay attention the
Bible says in a multitude of counselors there is safety I know some people here
you watch too much of Romeo and Juliet and so we have this thing where in our
culture with the more people are against this the more romantic it is the more
sexy it is because we watch so much Hollywood it's like everybody's against
their awesome this is what the real love is let me tell you something about
relationships that everyone is against when everybody starts being fought it is
when you lose the love because that love is not based on each other it's only
based on the fact you are in opposition to everyone and that's where that love
is I've seen relationships where they died that day everyone stop being
against them because to defend that love is the fact that you had to
fight against the world and the moment you don't have to fight against the
world you begin to fight against each other a gentleman that was getting
married here won't mention his name and he when he was a teenager he had few
infatuations with some people that his mentors were not supporting well the
Lord wasn't supporting his mentors were not supporting he wasn't even in support
of that he just was a little bit infatuated and but he was obedient to
the Lord and he didn't pursue any of those relationships they were not good
for him and finally a time came he finished his education and he fell in
love and he was pursuing this person and they were about to get married and I
remember he told me something that stuck with me he said this feels weird
and I said how so I was getting cold feet here so no no no no he said
nobody's against me I was like it's because you're not in high school I was
like because you do not you're not trying to go against the world he's like
it is this normal then like the pastor is for it that the parents are for it
the circumstances are falling into place and I said this is the right way and
whatever you were doing in high school was not a right way
come on somebody are you with me number six when there is no mutual attraction
it might be a wrong relationship for you if you're not mutually attracted to each
other attraction is not the most important but it's important I know in
some cultures attraction doesn't matter Isaac married Rebecca I never even seen
her never even had a chance to like her he saw her for the first time he was she
was introduced as his wife he's like well it is what it is and the Bible says
he loved her for most of us we don't live in the culture where parents choose
marriage for you based on how the businesses will go you have a chance to
choose someone based on your attraction that you have for them it's very
important that you don't choose someone based just on their education based just
on their appearance or based on how the kids will turn out you know how girls do
that they're like they already I feel fourth dimension is like well our kids
will look like this yeah he's the pig I don't like him but we'll have good kids
they'll make it the kids will make up for the fact we don't have no flow here
if a lady gets married to a guy and she knows he has no attraction for her it
causes her insecurities to go through the roof when the guy gets married to a
lady and he doesn't have the attraction the lust that he already fights with it
becomes a lot harder to overcome and so I challenge people that if you are in a
dating relationship and there is no attraction listen turn it to the
friendship and don't pursue any further because attraction is very important if
you don't have it now the chances of that having later sometimes God does
miracles but it's better to leave those miracles to someone else