- The camera is balancing on seven things.
♫ Where in the world is Superwoman today?
♫ L.A.
In a really big house, so I'm really sorry for the echo.
What if everyone could girl to woman?
And whether you're single or in a relationship
or hello -- hello -- hello.
Whether you're single or in a relationship
or you're just like a unicorn
that doesn't understand dating other human beings,
I'm sure you can relate to this video,
because we've all had a crush at some point or another.
We're doing the whole video like this? Maybe.
Just deal.
No, but for real, we've all had a crush.
For example, I visited my crush today at Chipotle.
That's right, so hot.
Swear to God, I'm gonna put a ring on that ricebowl.
And I feel like we all go through almost the same stages
when it comes to crushes.
It starts off with stage one, the discovery.
Now this is a stage where you notice someone
for the first time.
And don't get it twisted.
Maybe you've seen this person, like, 100 times,
but today you notice something a little extra special.
Because you don't just see the person. No, no, no.
You notice the person.
That person catches your eye.
Then you're like, yo, your booty lookin' right.
In fact, their booty lookin' so right
that they could never make a left turn
without hitting a pedestrian.
And I'm just like damn.
Have you always been this fine
or am I just gettin' more desperate?
Either way, yo look I dropped my phone.
Pick it up slowly.
Actually caught the phone with my other hand,
'cause I'm an athlete.
This leads to stage two, research.
A'ight, so now that you noticed the booty,
you gotta make sure that the booty
is in fact that fine.
You gotta make sure it wasn't like boot-ception.
That you were, like, having a dream about a booty
while having a dream about a booty
while inside a dream of another booty.
Because yo I hate when that happens.
So you pull out your best research tools
aka Facebook and Instagram.
You proceede to go through all their posts
trying to decipher their personality
and then, if you discover that they're actually way hotter
than you thought, you will do everything
to convince yourself that you two are compatible.
based on the very biased information
you found on Instagram.
Oh my God, oh my God, see?
They posted a picture holding a basketball.
I'm wearing a sports bra.
We're meant to be.
Whoa. Holy crap, holy crap.
Is this a cheesecake?
That's so weird. I eat food too.
Ok, see yeah, they have a dog.
That's right, last week I fully ate a hotdog.
Okay, this is really weird.
You went to a charity event and I posted a Facebook status
about being a nice person.
And I always say, like I say all the time,
that I'm gonna sponsor a child.
Okay, basically call us the American flag
because our stars are so aligned.
This leads to stage three, show and tell.
So what do you do when you like someone?
You gain confirmation that the person is, in fact,
hot and wonderful by seeking validation from your friends.
And, I know what you're thinking.
Okay yeah, your friends are all like bitter and single.
But yo they know what they're talking about.
Now keep in mind at this point
you might have never even spoken to your crush
but yo, irrelevant.
The status of your relationship doesn't matter.
So you've never spoken, pfft.
Okay, that person lives across the world.
Okay fine, so the person isn't actually a real person.
and they're a character from a movie.
Whatever.
Technicalities.
All that matters is that your friends
also believe this person is very hot and spectacular.
So what you do, you show them your crush's Instagram.
And I'm not just sayin', 'cause let's be real,
you're not gonna pass them the Instagram
and have them scroll through it.
You know there's a select like seven pictures
where they look really good
and you've memorized those pictures.
And you're gonna show them those select pictures,
Make your case and then proceed to the next stage.
Once your friends approve,
you proceed to stage four, daydreaming.
Now from this point on, all songs,
all movies, all novels are about you and your crush, okay?
It's not The Fault in Our Stars,
it's there is no faults in my crush.
Life of Pi?
Nah, it is my crush and I eat pie.
Beauty and the Beast?
Nah, it's beauty and the beauty.
The story of my crush and I.
♫ Be our guest, be our guest
to our wedding.
Crazy in Love.
Hit single performed by my crush and I.
You call it a relationship emoji.
I call it a selfie with my crush and I.
And you start thinking like all these delusional things,
like, okay, I've never spoken to my crush,
but I just like know if he was here right now,
he would give like the best massages.
And I'm so upset, but I betchu if my crush was here
they would know exactly what to say.
You, effin' crazy, you never even spoken to your crush.
For all you know, your crush could be a mime.
Your just like waitin' there
for him to say the perfect thing like
and then this happened and your crush is like --
(miming)
So, eventually, you got to proceed
to stage five, small talk.
So you want to talk to your crush,
but everytime you try you turn into a hot mess
with zero confidence.
It's like when your crush is not around,
you're all like my name is Theon Greyjoy.
The second you see your crush, you're like
Rig, my name Rig.
What a Game of Thrones reference.
So, you try to find excuses to talk to your crush
Okay, you act clueless.
Hey, I'm so sorry to bug you.
Yeah, do you know where the TV is by any chance?
Oh, do you have gum?
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks so much, that's -- one second --
Hey sorry, do you know the date?
I don't know nothing. I'm stupid --
Yo, Chase, can you check if the camera's recording.
Ya, I don't remember if I pressed record.
Shut up, stop.
It is? Okay, cool. Thank you.
This leads to stage six, the finale
which can go one of two ways.
Number one, you realize your crush
also likes your booty and you live happily ever after.
Or, number two, which is much more common,
you realize you have huge trust issues,
commitment issues, daddy issues,
and just general bad breath
and you die alone.
But that's okay because you can die with me
on my world tour, what up? Segway.
That's right, if you haven't bought tickets
for my North American tour yet, what are you doing?
All the are listed in the description below
and VIP packages are still available
which means we can meet and greet
and we don't have to die alone.
So you can grab those at triple w LillySinghTour dot .com.
♫ Hey
Also tomorrow I am sending out my monthly newsletter
and I've totally revamped it.
It's gonna be so super cool.
It's gonna be advice from Paramjeet and Manjeet,
Q&As, shoutouts, contests --
a whole bunch awesomesauce stuff.
So, if you're not signed up for my free newsletter yet,
what are you doing?
teamsuper.ca. It's free.
You put your email address, I send you personal e-mails.
Very great.
If you like this video, give it a big thumbs up.
Come and blow and let me know who your crush is right now.
I won't tell anybody.
You can check out my last video.
It is right there.
It is my parents explaining to you how babies are born.
That's right you can check out my blog right there.
Most importantly, make sure to subscribe
because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
♫ One love superwoman, that is a wrap and zup
♫ shimmy shimmy shimmy shimmy