Hey everybody, Mat Boggs here and today I want to talk to you about confidence, which
is an essential ingredient for creating a long-lasting, powerful relationship.
It’s our ability to own our worth, our ability to own out value in any given relationship.
So I’m going to give you one secret confident booster you can use to enhance your own confidence.
But first, before we can boost our confidence, we have to understand what sabotages our confidence.
The one thing that sabotages our confidence and increases insecurity is comparison.
We call it comparison despair when we take a look at someone else.
And typically it’s just one attribute that we’re comparing.
We’re looking at someone else and they’ve got a better body than we do or they make
more money than we do or they’re smarter than us or funnier than us and so we’ll
look at that one attribute and we will feel “less than” because we don’t have that
one attribute to the degree that they do.
We’ll either compared ourselves with our competition – so ladies, you might be comparing
yourself with other women out there – or we’ll compare ourselves with the person
that we’re dating and we’ll feel like we’re not at their level.
We’ll feel like they’re out of our league.
A woman in my coaching program came to me a couple months ago and was like, “Gosh,
you know, I was dating this guy and I feel like I sabotaged this relationship because
I felt like, you know, he makes more money than I do, he was more successful than I was,
he had more friends than I did, he’s way more outgoing.
I’m kind of shy, he’s way more charismatic.
And I started questioning the value that I was bringing to this relationship.”
And so, you know, she was thinking, “What am I adding?
Because he’s got all this stuff and I’m just me.”
And here’s the interesting part: Because she was feeling insecure and she was thinking,
“I’m not enough,” she started acting insecure and acting like she wasn’t enough
and so therefore, his perception of her was, “This woman is not enough,” and so he
broke off the relationship.
What I shared with her in the coaching program – one thought, one idea, one principle made
all the difference.
And that is the value that men are looking for in a relationship is usually not the value
that you’re looking for in a relationship.
In other words, if you want someone who will provide and who will protect and be strong,
that’s not what a man’s looking for (someone who will provide and protect and be strong).
Men want their complement, not their carbon copy.
I’ll give you a quick example.
Imagine a comedian.
Who would a comedian prefer to spend his evening with?
Another comedian who’s competing for joke-telling space?
Or a fun-loving audience that roars at his jokes?
A comedian’s value is that he feels funny in the presence of the audience.
Obviously, he wants to spend time with that fun-loving audience because he feels funny
in their presence, just like a man wants to be around a woman that makes him feel more
like a man.
That is huge value for him.
When a man feels funny, when a man feels capable, when a man feels like a provider, when a man
feels celebrated, when a man feels like a champion in your presence – in other words,
when a man feels special when he’s around you, you become special to him.
You don’t have to compare yourself to the person that you’re dating.
All you have to do is own your value, which brings me to the one principle, the one idea
that will help to boost your confidence and it’s this: Simply remember that nobody on
this entire planet has your unique combination of attributes and qualities.
Nobody.
Nobody has your unique combination of your looks, your personality, your belief system,
your history, your past.
It’s like your thumbprint.
Out of seven billion people on the planet, that’s the only one, baby.
This is the only one that exists that is like yours.
Pull out your thumb.
Whip that baby out right now.
Take a look at this and just appreciate that you are unique.
Out of seven billion people, nobody have your unique combination of qualities.
You’re the only one.
And what makes it rare is also what makes it beautiful.
Yes, there might be someone who has a better body than you do, but they don’t have your
intelligence.
There might be someone who might be younger than you, but they don’t have your sense
of adventure and playfulness.
There might be someone who’s making more money than you, but they don’t have your
integrity and your values.
When a man is with you, he is experiencing the fullness of who you are – all of that
– your values and your personality and your playfulness and your humor and your stories,
and all of that creates this amazing flavor that he’s never tasted before, that he’s
never experienced and absorbed before and he’s like, “Dang.
This is amazing.
There’s just something special about her.
There’s something unique about her.”
And so if you’re dating a man right now, own that.
Ground yourself in that and know that you’re bringing major value into his life.
And if you haven’t met him yet, know this: When he does meet you, he’s going to see
you for who you are, the value that you’re bringing,
and he’s going to fall in love with you and he’s never going to want to let you
go.
So as always, I posted a link in the description that will take this information deeper and
serve you.
If you’re not yet subscribed, make sure you get subscribed to this channel.
Thanks so much for watching, and I look forward to see you soon.