It is very complicated here
at Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend
because you just came back.
I did.
You just came back.
You've been out for quite a while now,
over three months, and Matt Gourley, our trustee,
you know,
executive producer,
what is his title again?
Engineer?
He's a producer. He's a producer,
but what did you say,
executive producer?
What do you say?
He's not an executive producer.
He isn't.
God damn it, and he never will be, as as long as I'm,
you know. How do you not know
what he does?
I'm sorry, and I've said this before,
Oh come on.
But a Pharaoh, Don't do the Pharaoh thing.
A Pharaoh doesn't know where each stone goes
in the pyramid, or who placed the stone there.
A Pharaoh just occasionally checks out the pyramid,
and is either pleased or displeased.
Yeah.
So anyway,
Matt Gourley, producer,
wonderful producer is out because he and his lovely wife,
Yes, Amanda.
Amanda,
had a baby.
A baby girl. A baby girl.
We will not reveal the name.
I'm pretty sure it's Gertruden.
(Sona & Brett laughing)
Gertruden Gourley.
It's not,
but I really wish it was Gertruden Gourley.
Did you send her a tweed onesie?
(Conan chuckles)
I sent over an "I like Ike" tweed diaper.
Just one. The most uncomfortable
diaper ever made, yeah.
it says "I like Ike" across the butt.
A Vintage diaper.
It's a vintage diaper.
(Sona laughing)
It's got an asbestos lining.
It was made in 1951 and I got it in an antique shop.
And I got her a little lute with lots of sharp spiky parts.
So, we're really happy for Matt Gourley,
Yes, very happy. But,
this also means that, man,
we're like a championship team
that keeps having star players drop out, you know?
Except instead of a groin pull, it's creating life.
Yeah.
And so,
I do not fear because we have someone filling in
for Matt Gourley, who I'm told is the best in the business.
Oh okay.
And I'm just saying that to off piss Matt Gourley,
and his name, his name is Brett Morris.
Brett, how are you?
I'm great, thanks for having me.
Would you call yourself the best in the business?
Um no, I would never call myself that.
(Sona laughing)
That feels insane to call myself.
Because you're, because that would feel wrong,
but deep down I can see your thought balloon.
You think I'm right on.
Mm. You think you can eat
Matt Gourley's lunch, you're so much better
at producing than him, don't you?
Yeah, fuck Matt Gourley.
Yeah, fucking Gourley.
Right?
I do kind of like this.
Is it true that when you screw up in the studio,
you say, "Ah, pulled a Gourley."?
Is that what people say in the business?
Yeah.
I like anytime I hear of Matt Gourley
making any mistake of any kind
'cause he just seems,
he's such a graceful human being and he's handsome and yeah.
And I'm so ungracious.
I think that's what works, is that when Matt
makes a mistake, or an error of some kind,
or slightly misspeaks, my reaction to it is so savage
and so wrong, that the contrast
I think is just fascinating to people.
I think so too, yeah.
Do you think that there's a part of you that's like
a little jealous of Matt 'cause he can
do so much stuff, like edit podcasts
and build tables and stuff, and you're just angry.
Yeah, he didn't hand whittle a canoe.
Yes.
(Sona laughing)
He can do a lot of things.
I can make ramen.
(Sona laughing)
If it's the kind that you drop in the boiling thing
that has an envelope,
those little pouches with chicken stock.
Oh yeah, with the powder.
Yes.
I make that really well.
Guess what?
Get it boiling,
leave it for three minutes,
turn off the heat,
then add the packet and stir.
Ooh.
Then you can add some pepper.
That's what I can do.
I don't see Matt Gourley doing that.
Do you?
No.
I have a feeling he's, he's making three course meals
every night.
He's also baking,
he's got a kiln and he's making the bowl
that the soup will go in.
(Sona laughing)
And once he's done using that bowl, he smashes it.
Brett, tell me a little bit about yourself
so I can find a weakness and then I can attack you.
(Sona laughs)
Oh God.
Okay, well...
Where are you from, you know, what's your story, Brett?
Yeah, I'm originally from the bay area.
Mhm.
Like Silicon Valley area.
Mhm.
I'm a musician. Mhm.
Been in various bands and currently in a band.
What's your instrument?
Guitar, mainly.
Yeah.
That's something we can bond over.
What's the name of your band?
Man Man.
Man Man?
That's the name of my band, yeah.
M A N, M A N?
M A N, M A N, yes.
So, at this time when men are being called into account
for centuries of misbehavior,
We're doubling down.
You doubled down on man.
(Sona laughing)
That was your decision.
Yeah, I mean,
you'll have to talk to the front man about that.
Oh.
Well there is a third man.
Well I never assumed that
the person leading the band is a man.
(Brett laughing)
When you said you're gonna have to talk to the
I just thought, "well, who is she?"
But of course, in Man Man, it's a man,
because that's how you guys roll.
Brett, I think you're in really deep water,
I really do.
Yeah. I think you should
change the name of your band immediately,
to Women Are The Future
(Sona laughs)
and,
or you could,
and your first album should be "Sorry About That Last Name."
Yes.
Think seriously about what I'm telling you.
It's probably a good idea.
Yeah.
Well I want to check you guys out some time.
Maybe I could rock with you, huh?
Have I got the chops to rock with you guys?
Any time.
We recorded our album right here, where I'm sitting.
So uh, you know, come over, we'll jam.
Do you take lead, ever?
Do you like to solo?
I play a very choppy lead,
a very crude lead,
but it's got a lot of heart in it.
Okay.
It's got a, what did you say Sona?
What did I say?
When I grab a lead guitar solo it's,
I wouldn't say it's just a lot of finesse there.
I disagree.
I think you're harder on yourself than you should be.
I think you're a great guitarist,
but yeah, you're not Slash.
Oh my God.
No, I can't afford that hat.
That's an incredible hat.
You think the hat is the only thing
that differentiates you between.
You know what's so fascinating?
I've seen him play without the hat.
Yeah. He's terrible.
(Sona laughing)
He's awful.
When he puts the hat on, suddenly he's Slash.
One of the worst sounds I ever heard
was coming out of this rehearsal space once.
Awful, just clunky, awful crude.
And I walked in and it was Slash,
Saul Hudson, without his hat.
Right.
And it was like a kid that picked up a guitar
and had peanut butter on his fingers.
Under the brim of his hat,
he's got the tabs of all the songs.
He's got the tablature, yes.
Exactly how to play the chords.
You know, it's all about the hat with him.
I love him so much.
Okay, yeah.
He's my first crush.
That's true.
That's right, and you got to meet him through who?
How'd you meet him?
Don't do that.
How'd you meet slash?
I'm curious.
Through you.
Oh yeah, okay, whatever.
All roads lead to Conan (humming)
Don't do that song.
(singing) I changed your life, I changed your life.
What an awful song.
I'm the reason you met your husband,
and you've got your family.
You owe me everything, I said, everything, everything,
owe me everything, I said.
(Conan beatboxing)
What an awful song that was.
Brett, did you like that song I just sang?
I'm rethinking the invitation to join.
(Conan & Sona laughing)
Run.
Brett, run as fast as you can.
Run away.
I'm sorry.