What?
What is she doing?
Is she serious?
When was the last time a girl bought you dinner?
I can't believe this.
I need to rewind and see what just happened.
But ladies, welcome to the new normal.
This is part of 2020,
our dating culture,
where women are expected to split the bill with men and treat
men for dinner,
and take men out for dinner.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what to say.
The topic for this video is to understand what to do when the bill arrives.
So the bill arrives in the restaurant and the man has invited you for a date.
I'm hoping in this case that the man actually at least
was the one who suggested the date.
But I don't know if you also take charge of that,
then you're definitely wearing the pants in this relationship.
So the bill arrives and the what do elegant ladies do next?
Should you pull out your wallet?
Should you be reaching for your bag?
Should you put on those charades just to prove yourself that you are a worthy
woman who is not a gold digger?
Now let's pause there for a second.
First of all,
didn't we just say that the man had invited you out and
not the other way around?
You weren't the one who had invited him.
Can we establish this fact first?
My dear elegant ladies,
how it works with etiquette is that whoever invites the person out
is the one who is actually obliged to pay the bill.
This is etiquette rules.
This has nothing to do with the 50/50 society.
You also have this with business etiquette.
The personal who has suggested a meeting is the one who pays the bill if the
meeting is outside of the office.
So going back,
if you feel guilty that you're not pulling out your wallet or reaching for your bag,
then hold your horses because he was the one who invited you.
And this gives you a very valid reason not to have to put on all those charades
because you are just a lady who acts according to etiquette.
And this is the silent rule.
Now,
majority of average Joes and the some affluent people,
they are of course not educated on etiquette.
So they might not understand this,
but this is not important what's he knows and what he doesn't know.
The importance is that you know.
I do not want you to have to sit and justify yourself.
I want you to understand that you should never have to pull out your wallet.
You should never even have to bring your wallet to a date with a man because
the norm is that the man pays full stop.
I'm not going to go into the whole traditional feminist aspect of it and the
gender roles conversation.
If this is the first time you hear me talk about this,
then go and watch my other videos where I talk a lot about
traditional feminism and my view on who should pay.
And especially,
watch a video why men should pay.
So having cleared that self-validation out,
the fact that you don't have to pay full stop.
Now, how do we handle the situation elegantly?
The next step is to execute everything with confidence,
meaning that you actually sit there and you are very neutral.
And you also understand that there is no need to really say or do anything in
the moment when the bill arise.
It's just a normal moment of waiting for you.
You're waiting for him to finish paying the bill.
And then so you can finish your drinks,
get your coat,
and then leave.
Making a big deal out of that moment when the bill arrives,
when he looks through the bill and,
and all those moments that leads up to the payment.
You are the one who's making a big deal out of it.
He might also be making a big deal out of it in his head,
but we don't really care what's going on in his head right now.
All we care about is what's fair and what's the norm.
And the norm is a man pays full stop.
If a man doesn't want to pay the bill,
he wants to split the bill or he wants you to pay the bill,
Sorry, it's very hard for me not to laugh because I start picturing these men.
Do you really want to be with a man who wants you to pay the bill or who wants
to split the bill with you?
If you do not feel comfortable because you still have this big anticipation cloud
in that moment when the bill arrives and you don't feel confident,
then occupy yourself with something.
Do something,
I don't know.
Check something quickly on your phone or excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.
Men really see through that.
I think checking your phone is probably the safest bet.
You can just quickly check your messages.
I mean,
if we are not in a very formal restaurant.
If we are in a more formal setting,
it might feel a little bit awkward to be on your phone,
but most restaurants you can discretely just check something like that.
That's fine.
And then lastly,
this one is optional,
but it's definitely recommended for those ladies who feel very insecure about
this moment.
They need to establish somehow that they're not going to pay
and they need to be
clear about it for their own mental well-being and for their own confidence.
Let's do it.
Let's say something.
So in that moment,
if you want to establish the fact that you are not going to pay,
that you are expecting him to pay,
then what you can say is simply thank you for inviting me.
I've had a wonderful time or anything where you basically just thanking
him for inviting you,
which is very important that that gets phrased.
And then just say that you had a good time and that's it.
No need to make a big deal out of it.
No need to be thanking him for the food or kissing his feet.
You know,
we're talking now about good manners and just being polite.
So ladies,
what you really must understand is that you are sending out an energy in that
moment and you really need to position yourself correctly.
Because there are stupid ways how you can be positioning yourself and that's by
pulling out wallets and pulling out bags because then you're educating him and
showing him that it's actually okay for the woman to pay.
And that you are kind of being open for that to happen.
No,
no,
no.
You do not acknowledge the fact that you have to pay.
You do not acknowledge the fact that you somehow must contribute.
You show gratitude and you are neutral,
and you act with manners and politeness.
But you do not pay and that's the end of story of that.
Because you need to really be strict with your boundaries there .
Because when you're violating your own boundaries,
that's how you show people how they can treat you.
And you know, what's really worse?
Is if you are actually in the beginning of stages of dating this man,
and you are showing to him from the beginning,
that it's okay if I pay.
I don't mind paying for you sometimes.
It's okay that you don't treat me always.
It's ok that you do not treat me as a woman.
When you send out that energy to him from the beginning,
how do you think that's going to play out later down the line in the relationship?
Don't you think that what you're doing right now is opening up the pathway for
a 50/50 relationship?
I mean,
do you think that it will be easier for you to recover from this type of
education because you are educating him right now how to treat you?
You're going to set the tone for the relationship,
for how to be treated and what expectations he should be setting of you.
Meaning that now he basically expects you to pay for things,
to invite him for dinners,
to go 50/50 and all of that.
Now,
if that's your goal,
and if that makes you happy,
then go for it.
But I think majority of women who are watching my channel,
that's not what they want.
I think also majority of you want to become more feminine women.
You want to step into the power of the feminine energy.
Now,
how does that justify the action of wanting to pay for a man or
offering to pay for a man,
when that action is incredibly masculine?
Paying for a man or paying for somebody is a masculine action,
that is not a feminine action.
So if you are with me on this journey to flourish as this feminine
creature and woman that you are,
why are you still taking masculine actions?
I know why a lot of women have this bad habit of offering to
pay or even paying for men.
That's because we have been programmed as women,
as everybody in our society to believe that you are more high
value if you show that you can pay as a woman.
So what happens is that many women,
they end up validating their own worth by paying or offering to pay
for a man,
just to validate their own independence.
Just to show the world that they can pay,
or the fact that they're not gold diggers.
But you know,
what's happening there?
You are walking straight into a trap.
Understand that this trap has been created by men
to control women,
to benefit men.
And then this trap has been reimposed by other fellow women and
men worldwide.
So of course,
this is a very common trap the majority of women go into because it's
actually a validating trap.
It makes them feel good.
So it doesn't really feel like a trap.
Acknowledge this ladies.
Acknowledged this behavior,
acknowledge what power society has in us and how we have been programmed.
I want you to apply critical thinking.
I want you to be able to expand your consciousness and your mind.
And to actually ask yourself,
is this really what I personally feel and want?
Or are these thoughts somehow imposed on you?
Ultimately, ladies,
my mission is to help you set better boundaries with men,
is to empower you so that you get what's fair in life.
And that you're not selling yourself short and that you're not throwing yourself
under the bus,
just because somebody said so.
I know this is not easy to implement,
especially not in today's harsh dating climate in 2020,
when women are expected to go 50/50 with men.
But you know what we can do ?
We have actually the power to change that.
We can change our own reality by the people that we meet.
We can repel the man who wants a woman who pays and we can
instead attract a man who is more traditional,
who would never want his woman to pay.
We can also,
as a collective force,
us women unite ourselves and say to ourselves,
you know what?
We're going to put a foot down.
We're going to educate men with our own behavior by not reaching for the wallet,
by not reaching for the purse.
This way we educate our society collectively that it's not okay.
And that this is not what we accept.
Now, I know it might seem impossible.
But believe me,
the more people who do it,
the more ripple effect is going to have.
And more and more men are going to understand that actually,
women are not selling themselves so short anymore.
Maybe I need to step up my game.
Maybe if I want to get lucky,
I have to put in more effort than I'm doing.
Anyway, ladies,
if you want to know where to meet high quality men, visit
Www.MillionairePlaces.com.
because I have a free cheat sheet with a lot of places where you can actually
meet some interesting candidates
If you happen to be single.
Now, remember I told you that I have a video called,
Why I Would Never Pay for a Man.
You should definitely check it out now after this video,
because that is going to give you some more insights to why women
never should pay for men.
I will see you in that video.