- I bet you'd love to know how to be happy all the time.
Well I'm Marissa Peer and today I'm going to show you
the three secrets, the three keys that you could adopt,
embrace, and put into your life that will allow you
to be happy all the time.
Everybody wants to be happy
and we're all looking to be happy,
and we seem to have this weird belief
that there's some destination we're going to get to
one day called "Happiness,"
but there's no destination called, "Happiness."
There's no terminal you're ever going to arrive at
in your life called, "This is the happy place."
If you want to be happy,
and why wouldn't you want to be happy?
Here's a way to be happy.
You got to be happy right now.
I see so many people who go,
"I'll be happy when my kid can walk,
"when my kid can feed themself."
"I'll be happy when my kid's gone to college."
"I'll be happy when..."
And if you buy into that, "I'll be happy when,"
you're never happy because when never comes.
"I'll be happy when I'm married, I'm single.
"If I could find a great person, I'll be happy."
And then you know what you do?
You just swap all the problems of being single
to having to compromise with somebody else,
because you have this belief, "I'll be happy when."
So if you want to be happy, here's how to be happy.
Decide to be happy right now.
Don't do that, "I'll be happy when I get to my holiday.
"I'm super stressed at the airport,
"I'm having a manic moment.
"But when I get there, I'll be happy."
Because now you've told your mind that happiness
is somewhere you're going to.
Tell your mind the truth.
"I am happy right now.
"I've decided to be happy in the moment.
"I'm choosing to be happy."
You see, your mind is set up to do what you tell it
and every time you say to your mind,
"I'm going to be happy when,"
it believes that happiness is out there
and you're going there, but you might never get there.
When you go, "I'm happy right now.
"I'm happy packing.
"I'm happy at the stress of the airport.
"I'm happy this minute.
"I am choosing to be happy,"
then your mind understands the truth, happiness is now.
You're not going to happiness,
you're not looking for happiness,
and by the way, nobody else can make you happy.
While an amazing partner, a great career, a wonderful kid
will enhance your happiness,
if you give that to someone else,
"My partner's going to make me happy.
"Having a baby's going to make me happy.
"Having a great job where I get recognised
"is going to make me happy.
"Getting praise is going to make me happy."
Do you know what you're doing?
You're giving someone else the responsibility
to make you happy, and if you say to them,
"Here you go, you make me happy,"
that will work for a while
but then, you know what you're giving them?
You're giving them power to make you unhappy.
"I wanted a little baby to be happy and I got it,
"but now that baby is a 14-year-old teenager
"that doesn't even want to speak to me."
People say, "Oh, you make me feel amazing,"
and then the other side of that is,
"You make me feel so angry and so lonely
"and so unimportant."
Don't give your power to be happy to anyone else.
It's up to you.
And don't wait to be happy,
choose to be happy right now in the moment.
I mean, look at little children.
The rain makes them happy, a puddle makes them happy.
Everything makes them happy, 'cause they live in the moment.
Happiness is an inside job.
Go inside you, live in the moment.
I promise you, if you make a decision,
"I'm going to be happy right now,
"no matter what, in everything I do,"
you'll train your mind to be happy.
And there's another great thing
that I find really works to be happy.
When you wake up in the morning, start going,
"Wow this tea is amazing.
"This coffee is sensational.
"I love the smell of this shower gel.
"I love the sheets.
"I love waking up."
I had to make myself do this
and it completely changed my life.
I wake up and go, "I love my life.
"I love being here."
My first coffee, I go, "I love this coffee.
"I love my sheets.
"I love everything."
And that's not really true, but if you can make your mind
be happy with little wins, every time you eat something,
"It's sensational."
Make a phone call, go, "This is great."
I'm reading, I'm watching my favourite show,
"This is amazing."
When you sit down at the end of the day
to watch Netflix, go, "This is amazing.
"This is wonderful."
You're training your mind to celebrate tiny little things.
Then when you get big things,
every day feels like Christmas.
So if you want to be happy, live in the moment,
keep telling yourself the tiniest little thing
makes you happy, because that's what children do,
and do not ever give your responsibility to be happy
to someone else.
"I'll be happy when.
"I'll be happy when I'm rich, when I look good,
"when I'm thinner, when I'm married."
'Cause I work with people who are rich, thin,
married, and millionaires, you know what?
They're miserable because they too are waiting
for happiness to arrive.
Happiness doesn't arrive and you don't go to it,
it has to be in your life today, right now.
I remember going to somebody's wedding,
a very dear friend of mine
and she was so stressed about making this wedding perfect
that she forgot to enjoy it.
I know my daughter's first birthday was a great event
and I forgot to take a single picture 'cause I was so busy
making sure she was happy and everyone else was happy.
The next day, I had to restage this party
just to take the photos, 'cause I didn't understand then
what I understand now.
Happiness is being in the moment, living in the moment.
Sometimes I go to events and I watch people
and they're so busy filming it that they're not in it.
They're no longer in the moment.
They're no longer enjoying a coffee,
or a lunch, or a concert,
'cause they're filming it instead of being in it.
And there's nothing wrong with filming it,
but when you finished your filming, put the camera down.
Be in the moment.
The moment is all you ever have, live in the moment.
So let me summarise for you.
You're not going anywhere to be happy.
Happiness is not out there, it's here,
right now, this moment, and you can choose to be happy.
And I promise you, this sentence will change your whole life
if you say it every day, "I'm choosing to be happy,
"choosing to live in the moment.
"I'm choosing to always find happiness.
"I'm not looking for it but I'm finding it
"'cause it's all around me."
So remember, there is no destination called, "Happiness."
Happiness is an inside job.
Choose to be happy.
Never give your power to be happy to someone else
'cause if you give them the power to make you happy,
you know what you're giving them?
Of course, the power to lay to make you unhappy.
Live in the moment, celebrate every small win,
teach your mind to be happy and then your mind will start
to feed it back to you without you even noticing
and you'll start to notice that you are happy all the time.
Go ahead and make some comments below about the things
that already make you happy, so other people will think,
"Oh yeah, I could do that.
"I never thought I could just do that
"and then I would be happy."
And remember, if you talk to a kid, "What makes you happy?"
They'll go, "The rain, the wind."
When I was in Africa, I asked somebody what made them happy.
They said, "The sun, the dark, the light,
"the cold, the heat, the beach, the sea,"
'cause they naturally do that.
They live in the moment.
Live in the moment, choose to be happy.
Remember that sentence you're going to say.
"Every day, I'm choosing to be happy.
"I'm choosing to be happy right now."