WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACADEMY
AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM TH "THE WRESTLER,"
"SPIDERMAN," AND "MY COUSIN VINNY."
PLEASE WELCOME MARISA TOMEI!
♪ I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME BE MYSELF AGAIN ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU
HERE.
I'M A BIG FAN.
>> LIKEWISE.
>> Stephen: WE MET BACKSTAGE.
ALL DAY LONG I THOUGHT, I KNOW I DID SOMETHING WITH MARISA TOMEI
BEFORE.
I FIGURED IT OUT WHEN I LOOKED AT PAUL DINELLO, MY PRODUCER AND
ONE OF MY OLDEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD.
DO YOU BY CHANCE REMEMBER COMING TO SECOND CITY IN 1990 AND DOING
THE SET, DOING THE IMPROV SET THAT NIGHT?
>> YES!
>> Stephen: A SCENE WITH ME AND HIM ON STAGE.
>> I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ON STAGE.
THAT PART'S A BLANK.
>> Stephen: I THINK WE WERE GUYS HITTING ON YOU AT A BAR OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT, OR WAS IT A FUNERAL OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> ONE OR THE OTHER.
WE WERE IN A CABIN AND NO ONE COULD COME IN.
>> Stephen: WE WERE IN A SNOWED-IN CABIN.
>> GANGBUSTERS.
>> Stephen: IT WAS FANTASTIC.
I DON'T REMEMBER THE SCENES THAT DON'T GO WELL.
>> IS THAT WHY I HAVE SUCH AFFECTION FOR YOU?
THERE IS A LOT OF REASONS, BUT THERE IS HISTORY.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
WE SHOULD WORK TOGETHER MORE THAN 27 YEARS APART.
>> LEST DO THAT.
>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU FROM YOUR
FANTASTIC MOVIE ROLES.
THEY LOVE YOU AS AN ACTOR.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE KNOW YOU FROM THE MOVIES, BUT
YOU GREW UP IN NEW YORK SO I IMAGINE YOU MUST HAVE FIRST
FALLEN IN LOVE ACTING IN THE THEATER.
>> YEAH, MY PARENTS LOVE THE THEATER.
>> Stephen: DID THEY HAVE TO DRAG YOU OR ARE YOU ALL IN?
>> NO, IT WAS A GREAT TIME TO SPEND WITH THEM.
I GOT TO SEE A CHORUS LINE AND FIRST ITERATION WHICH IS SUPER
EXCITING AND INSPIRED, MY BROTHER AND I TOOK TAP.
>> Stephen: YOU TOOK TAP?
YEAH, HE'S BETTER THAN ME AND HE'S NOT HERE.
>> Stephen: WAS THERE A PART YOU THOUGHT, OH, I WANT TO GROW
UP AND PLAY THAT PART?
>> I WAS INTO ROBERT DUVALL.
>> Stephen: WHO ISN'T?
YEAH, SO ANYTHING THAT HE WAS IN, THAT WAS MY ASPIRATION.
I WANTED TO BE THE ROBERT DUVALL IN ANY PART HE WAS IN.
IT WAS, LIKE, YEAH, YOU KNOW, GENDER FLUIDITY, POPULAR NOW.
>> Stephen: I LOVE THE SMELL OF NAPALM IN THE MORNING.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE IN "SPIDERMAN" HOME
COMING.
YOU'VE PLAYED AUNT MAY IN THE AVENGERS MOVIE.
A LITTLE BIT OF CONTROVERSY BECAUSE THERE ARE DEPICTIONS OF
AUNT MAY THAT EXIST IN THE MARVEL COMICS, AND THIS IS WHAT
THEY ARE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
YOU LOOK LIKE THIS.
THIS IS NOT SAME PERSON.
( APPLAUSE ) >> YOU CAN IMAGINE MY HORROR
WHEN I WAS CAST AND I STARTED DOING THE RESEARCH!
BUT THEN I THOUGHT, I'M JUST GOING TO GO WITH IT AND I
ACTUALLY MADE A CASE TO AGE ME UP.
>> Stephen: NO, NO.
IT'S GOOD.
IT'S SEXY AUNT MAY.
YEAH.
NO, NOT THIS.
IT'S SEXY AUNT MAY.
WELL, THE NEW PLAY IS AT LINCOLN CENTER THEATER AND IT'S CALLED
HOW TO TRANSCEND A HAPPY MARRIAGE AND IT'S A COMPLEX AND
SOMEWHAT BIZARRE PLAY, IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT.
IT HAS A LOT OF CATHOLIC REFERENCES IN THE PLAY BUT THERE
ARE ALSO THRUPPLES, ORGIES, ET CETERA, NOT WHAT I GREW UP.
>> WITH IT'S GOING BACK TO THE GNOSTIC, THE ROOTS.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU RAISED CATHOLIC?
>> I WAS NOT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU GO TO CHURCH AT ALL OR ANYTHING LIKE
THAT.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: BROADWAY.
YEAH, JUST THE CHURCH OF PASTA, THE CHURCH OF ITALIAN
HOLIDAYS WITH A VERY LOOSE RELIGIOUS FEELING TO THEM.
>> Stephen: YOUR CHARACTER IS A LATIN TEACHER.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: DO YOU STUDY LATIN?
>> IT WASN'T EVEN OFFERED.
THAT'S ACTUALLY IN THE PLAY.
MY HUSBAND CONJUGATES HIS LOVE FOR ME.
( STEPHEN SPEAKING LATIN ) >> WHAT IS THAT?
>> Stephen: THE FARMER IS IN GAL.
THAT TOOK SEVEN YEARS.
I CAN'T REMEMBER A THING.
I WENT THROUGH MY ENTIRE VOCABULARY.
>> STARTED OFF WITH GANGBUSTERS, THOUGH.
>> Stephen: THERE'S A LOT OF REFERENCES TO MEAT SLAUGHTER.
>> YES, A LOT.
>> Stephen: SLAUGHTERING ANIMALS.
>> A LOT OF IT IS GETTING IN TOUCH WITH THE LIMITLESSNESS OF
LOVE AND THAT MEANS INCLUDING THE WILDNESS THAT'S INSIDE OF
US.
THERE IS MEAT SLAUGHTERING THAT'S INVOLVED.
I DON'T DO THE MEAT SLAUGHTERING.
I HAVE BEEN A PARTICIPANT.
I DID SLAUGHTER AN ANIMAL ONCE BUT NOT FOR RELIGIOUS REASONS.
THAT ALL WENT WRONG, DIDN'T IT?
>> YOU HAVE TO SAY MORE THAN THAT.
IT WAS A FARM ANIMAL?
>> IT WAS A FARM ANIMAL AND WITH A FARMER WHO IS ALSO A CHEF WHO
I WANTED TO -- I DON'T KNOW WHAT, THERE WAS SOMETHING INSIDE
OF ME HE OFFERED AND -- IT'S A GREAT FIRST DATE.
>> Stephen: IF YOU EAT MEAT, I THINK YOU SHOULD BE WILLING TO
KILL THE THING YOU'RE GOING TO EAT.
>> IST IN THE PLAY.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
COME SEE IT.
COME DO IT WITH ME YOU KNOW HALF THE LINES, ALREADY.
>> Stephen: THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC.
( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
SO THERE'S SOMETHING CALLED A THRUPPLE IN THIS PLAY.
>> YES, OR A TRIAD.
>> Stephen: CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE I AM AN OLD-PASSION
FAKED MAN WHO WEARS KHAKI PANTS AND DRIVES HIS VOLVO TO A
DRY-CLEANER.
WHAT IS A THRUPPLE AND HOW DOES THAT WORK?
>> IT'S A TRIAD.
>> Stephen: TWO MEN, TWO WOMEN?
>> IN THIS CASE, IT'S TWO MEN AND A WOMAN, THEY'RE IN A
POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP AND ALL COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER.
THEY HAVE RULES WITHIN THAT SITUATION, RULES OF PLAY AND OF
COMMITMENT.
THEY CAN'T SLEEP WITH FRIENDS -- CLOSE FRIENDS -- BUT IF THEY
WANT TO BRING SOMEONE ELSE INTO THIS SITUATION, THEY ALL HAVE TO
AGREE.
THERE ARE A BUNCH OF RULES.
THEY'RE ALL EXPLAINED IN THE PLAY!
>> Stephen: IS THERE ANY CHANCE MIKE PENCE MIGHT BE
ALLOWED TO HAVE DINNER WITH THIS THRUPPLE?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A SINGULAR HONOR.
LADY GAGA TOLD "ROLLING STONE" IN AN INTERVIEW THAT IF SHE EVER
HAS A BIOPIC, SHE WANTS YOU TO PLAY HER.
ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THAT IDEA?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BECAUSE FOR YOU, NOT ONLY COULD
YOU WEAR THE MEAT DRESS, YOU COULD SLAUGHTER THE --
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE
WOULD BE BUT I WAS HOPING YOU AND I COULD ACT OUT LADY GAGA.
>> YES!
>> Stephen: AND WE'LL DO A SCENE.
HERE'S ONE FOR YOU.
YOU DO THE LINES THAT SAY MARISSA NEXT TO IT.
>> Stephen: THIS IS LADY GAGA BIOPIC STARRING MARISA TOMEI AS
LADY GAGA.
>> STEPHEN: I WON'T TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU, KISS OR HUG
YOU.
>> 'CAUSE I'M BLUFFING WITH MY MUFFIN, I'M NOT LYING, I'M JUST
STUNNING WITH MY LOVE GLUEGUNNIN'.
>> STEPHEN: MUH-MUH-MUH- POKER FACE.
POKER FACE.
>> I WANT YOUR UGLY, I WANT YOUR DISEASE, I WANT YOUR EVERYTHING,
AS LONG AS IT'S FREE.
>> STEPHEN: I WANT YOUR LOVE, LOVE-LOVE-LOVE I WANT YOUR
LOVE.
>> RAH-RAH-AH-AH-AH-AH!
>> STEPHEN: ROMA-ROMA-MA-MAA!
>> GA-GA.
>> STEPHEN: OO-LA-LA!
>> Stephen: END SCENE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: "HOW TO TRANSCEND A
HAPPY MARRIAGE" IS AT LINCOLN CENTER.
MARISA TOMEI, EVERYBODY!