Uncle Joshua Weissman
One of the best YouTube chef ever
He nail his egg fried rice
He nail his Tom Yum
But he making terrible choice when it come to facial hair haiyaa
Uncle Joshua, why you look like guy who gonna talk to me about NFT?
Today Uncle Joshua back making Thai green curry
Can he maintain his Uncle title?
Let's see, let's see
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Okay so today we're making a Thai green curry
But not just a Thai green curry
You're gonna make your own curry paste from scratch
in a mortar and pestle by hand
Good, good, good
He making curry paste from scratch
That good, because in western country
Very hard to get good green curry paste
Like when Uncle Roger make my Thai green curry
I make my own paste also
But if niece and nephew live in Thailand
Okay to buy curry paste from shop
Because they got secret recipe pass down by generation
Or even better
Kidnap random Thai auntie, ask her make green curry paste for you
Because good green curry worth kidnapping someone for
So start by combining two teaspoons or four grams of coriander seeds
Coriander seed correct
Cumin correct
3 grams of white peppercorns
Correct, white peppercorn correct
Into an oven that's been preheated to 325
Haiya, oven for what
Just toss in pan, Uncle Joshua
Asian people we just use oven as storage for pot and pan
Until lightly toasted, you could also do this in a pan if you want
Then let this cool down
OK, he addressed that
Are you ready for this?
Thinly sliced 9 Thai chillis
3 serrano chillis
Okay 12 chillis total, good amount
Two small shallots
Shallot good
Garlic good
Four cilantro stems no leaves
Oh no no first mistake
Not cilantro stem
Green curry unique cilantro root, cilantro root!
Root and stem different
Somebody didn't pay attention In biology class
One stock of lemongrass
Two inch knob of peeled galangal
Please! Galangal is key
That right, don't replaced galangal with ginger
Galangal and ginger not the same thing
People who think ginger can replace galangal
Are the same people who think Jamie Oliver can cook
Very finely chiffonade
Three kaffir lime leaves
Good chopping
To make grinding easier, I align mine up
Get a large mortar and pestle
Pestle and mortar fuiyoh
Correct correct
Grind those with your pestle
Why grind, don't grind haiya
Just like nephew Nick
You don't want to grind, Uncle Joshua
You want to pound
Go watch my green curry video
Go see how good Uncle Roger is at pounding
That how I gonna win the heart of Auntie Esther
Until you get a powder, then get a towel underneath
Because you're destroying your countertop
Follow that up with your sliced Thai chilies
Good pounding should always destroy countertop
Grind those into
He pounding here, OK, he pounding
And really get in there and grind
Pounding, wait, that it?
He just pound 2 stroke and he finish
Feel bad for his girlfriend
Just two stroke haiyaa
Uncle Roger can pound at least twice as long
This will take 2-3 minutes depending on your technique
I rough chop my sliced galangal and added that
Grind that down until it's pastified, another one to two minutes
Then add your your lemongrass, which has also been pretty finely chopped
Actually, don't need to chop so fine
Because it gonna get pound to shit anyway
This is where technique comes in, pal
Use human instinct, sensuous
What technique?
Use your grinder to press it
This not even pounding, what technique?
Twist your pestle to get it nice
You want technique
Go watch Mark Wiens mother-in-law
That the right technique
Not this stirring bullshit
Till smooth, followed by coriander stem, also until smooth
Coriander root, not stem
Your garlic
Grind till smooth
And last but not least finished it off with a half teaspoon or 4 grams
Fuiyoh, correct correct, shrimp paste good, and he use a lot
That the right amount, not the white amount
Good job, Uncle Joshua
Blending all that together, totalling in at around 15 to 20 minutes of grinding
Yes it's tedious
But the effort turns into reward
When everyone is moaning at the dinner table
Don't moaning at the dinner table
This cooking video, not onlyfans
You'll know it's smooth enough if you can form a ball with it
What he doing?
Ayo it's the green curry paste ball
This not play-doh, don't play with your food, Uncle Joshua
This green curry look like my ex-wife before makeup
Oh my god can I have your autograph?
So on to the easiest part- the curry
In a medium-sized pot, add 2 tablespoons or 28 milliliters of
Okay oil go in
Over medium heat until hot hot, bing bong
Then add all of your curry paste
Wait, what? Curry paste already?
No no no Uncle Joshua, no
Green curry got two methods
First step, you either fry the coconut milk to split the oil out
like how Uncle Roger do
Or you do more homestyle
Where you mix the curry paste in water and boil it
Like how Mark Wiens mother-in-law do
You don't just stir-fry the curry paste
Big mistake here
Cook that guy down stirring often until it's relatively dried out
And is starting to stick to the bottom about 3 or 4 minutes
Then stir in five cloves of very finely chopped garlic
Garlic? But you have garlic in your paste already
A cup or 177 milliliters of chicken stock
Wait, chicken stock?
No chicken stock
177 milliliters of chicken stock
Chicken stock should not be first liquid in there
When the coconut milk gonna come?
Uncle Roger waiting here half an hour now
Coconut milk still not here
Are you growing the coconut tree right now Joshua
Why you wait so long for coconut milk?
Where to coconut milk?
Chicken stock we put near the end
Used to thin out the curry
Not the first thing that go in haiyaa
Then add one tablespoon or 17 grams of palm sugar
Palm sugar correct
Remember, don't use white sugar
White sugar for white people
2 tablespoons or 30 milliliters of fish sauce
Fish sauce, good
Is dissolved, then add one 13.5 ounce or
Finally the coconut milk go in
Follow by three additional kaffir lime leaves
Bring it to light simmer and reduce the heat to low
And if you wanted ultra velvety smooth
Then at this point would blend it with
What
Until smooth as you like
No need, what?
What he doing
No need hand blender, you already pound it
It's so smooth that's just chicken stock and three leaves in there
Blend what blend?
He just trying to show off his blender or something
Bring it to light simmer and reduce the heat to low
Look at this curry colour
It so white
This Jamie Oliver level white haiyaa
This curry is so white, it about to ask Uncle Roger where I really from
Adding 3/4 of a pound or 340 grams of boneless and skinless chicken thighs
Okay, at least that correct
And simmer for 7-8 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through
Now it's veggie time
Yay! Something healthy for once
Something healthy? Haiya, Joshua
You want healthy
Go drink smoothie
Thai green curry don't need healthy, just make it taste good
Make it taste good
Heavily allergic to nightshades then maybe not
Add one to two Thai eggplants
Sliced about half an inch
He said what, what he say?
Add one to two Thai eggplants
That not Thai eggplant
This video starting to unravel now
This just regular eggplant
Regular eggplant is the emoji you use nephew trying to be dirty
Thai eggplants don't look like that haiyaa
Thai eggplant little round ball
Remind me of my testicle
Just round and green
Sorry children
Uncle Roger should get that checked
And that also a lot of eggplants
That so much fiber, you gonna shit yourself for a month haiya
About half an inch thick
Stir that in and simmer for four minutes or until soft
Then follow that with
What?
160 grams of snow peas
Snow peas? No no no
That is mangetout
That is what Jamie olive oil do in his Thai green curry video
No
Mangetout, the worst vegetable
Uncle Roger have to put my leg down from chair
This Jamie Oliver level mistake
Uncle Joshua, What happened, what happened?
Uncle Roger take his uncle title away haiyaa
What happened?
Uncle Joshua, dead and gone
One and a half cups or 160 grams of snow peas
This look so similar to Jamie Olive oil curry
I think Jamie Oliver see this curry
He gonna go:" Oh, this green curry looks just like my green curry
It looks really good, yeah ya!
First Uncle Gordon loses his Uncle title
And now Joshua also
They all the same as Auntie Helen
They just let Uncle Roger down
Sad
So much pain in my heart haiyaa
I like my snap peas to have some crunch to them
So one to two minutes is usually enough
Now once that's done
Season that to taste with the juice of one lime
Lime wrong
Fish sauce or palm sugar if you feel like it needs it
No way to save it now
Two large sprigs of Thai basil in the hot curry to release some
Herbaceousness
Look at this look, look at this
Look more like vegetable soup haiyaa
Where the Thai green curry?
Where?
Now you have an incredible curry which
No, it not incredible
Nice big bowl
I can't watch anymore
And nice heaping ladle fulls of curry on the other
See this
Fried shallots
No need fried shallot, too fancy
And also, who eat green curry like this?
Asian people we eat green curry
We put green curry in bowl and scoop into rice
Only white people do this
They split the curry out, the curry cannot touch the rice
It like East and West Germany
What is it about white people and segregation?
Sliced serrano chilli and fresh Thai basil leaves
Now this bowl right here, in my opinion
Pays respect and homage to one of the greatest curries in the entire world
Pay respect? Pay respect to who?
Jamie Oliver is it?
We should just go for the the curry itself aside from
all the vegetables and proteins and everything that's in there
Oh my god, look so white
You want to be hit right in the face with the most fresh Thai green curry
Notice how there is no layer of oil on it
It seems like it could be really spicy it's really not, very palatable
Spice level wise, I'll give this a, like 4.2345678/10
Not that spicy as long as you don't launch at the back your throat
Everything comes together beautiful
Launch at the back of throat?
Who eat food like that? Who deep throat a Thai green curry?
Niece and nephew, if you go on date
And your date deep throat the food
Married them immediately
Perfect Thai green curry you can make it home
And yes you should make the curry paste
You're not making this without making the paste. Period, end of story
The paste, every step correct
But the cooking, all wrong
You want to know what else is creamy and makes you sweat just a little?
B-roll!
B-roll! so cool for what
It all fucked
If Jamie Oliver like your Thai green curry
You fucked up
Haiyaa, Uncle Roger disappointed now
No more Uncle Joshua
This sad moment in YouTube cooking
He looked less like chef
And more like guy who about to talk to you about NFT
He nail egg fried rice
He nail Thai Tom Yum
But he don't nail his facial hair
Go watch my green curry video
Go see how good Uncle Roger is at pounding
That how I gonna win the heart of Auntie Esther
You want healthy, go drink vitamin water or some shit
You want healthy, go drink kombucha
You want healthy, go drink white women drink
Go eat yogurt parfait and smoothie or some shit
Oh, this green curry look
Oh, I didn't wear plaid shirt
If you can't do an impression of someone, just dress like them
Niece and nephew, do you like Uncle Roger impression of Jamie Oliver?
What you think, what you think?
Leave comment down below
You can't even tell difference on when Uncle Roger put on this mask
And put on my checkered shirt, You can't even tell difference
They split the curry out, the curry cannot touch the rice
Like Russia and Ukraine, shit
I gonna get in trouble for this one
Put in the bloopers