- Some people try to pretend like last year
didn't even exist.
They try just to erase it from their memory.
I don't like people like that.
You gotta hold onto your accomplishment.
Whatever you was able to accomplish last year,
hold on to it.
It matters you know.
Like I found out about wine during the pandemic.
(crowd laughing)
Yeah, I didn't know about wine.
(audience laughing)
They don't tell black men about wine.
(audience laughing)
No one tells us why women, you know, about wine.
(audience cheering)
Yeah, they know.
I found out from my doctor like,
did you guys know this?
Did you guys know that drinking one glass of wine
with dinner every night could actually help you feel
like you're better than everybody else?
(audience cheering)
I was like, why isn't Fauci talking about this?
(crowd continues laughing)
America needs to know, red wine,
appears beautifully with a pandemic.
I turned 30 during the whole thing.
I don't know if it was turning 30 or it was the pandemic,
but I turned into a middle-aged white woman
during the lockdown.
Straight up, my boys called me during the lockdown like
" yo, you watching the game tonight?"
I'm like, "The game?"
" Nigga, Megan Mackle is on Oprah.
(audience laughing)
Snitching on the whole family.
You still worried about Lebron?
Honey you need to grow up."
(audience continues laughing)
The game.
That's what I do now.
I drink red wine and mind other people's business,
(audience applauding)
in private, like an adult.
That's my baby drink, red wine, I love red wine.
'Cause you only need one glass to get to where
you need to be.
I see people are partying, taking shots,
I'm like, "just order a glass of wine."
I don't know how rappers aren't rapping about red wine.
I don't 'cause rappers, they sell alcohol
but it's always the hard stuff.
So it's like vodka or tequila
but if you listen to their lyrics,
rappers get very emotional.
I'm like, "this don't sound like tequila."
(audience laughing)
Every rap song is always the same thing.
It's always, "I'm better than you.
I'm tougher than you.
I got more money than you."
I'm like, "nigga, you been drinking Malbec?
(audience laughing loudly)
'Cause that is exactly how I feel,
when I'm scrolling through Instagram in my boxers
on a Friday night so,
I know what you mean, Gucci Mane.
I get it."
I got involved into stock market last year.
That was a big deal for me.
I'm a stockholder, yeah.
(audience applauding) Thank you, thank you.
I don't know if you guys are doing as well as I'm doing
but if you save up like $37,
you can buy a stock in a company
I bought three 'cause I had a really good
fourth quarter last year,
but you don't gotta start at the top.
You can just work your way up, to where I'm at.
And I see some young people in here.
I don't know how much y'all know about finance
but I'll teach you guys this.
When you buy stock in a company,
you actually become part owner of that company.
So I'm not trying to sound
like I'm better than anybody else here
but I'm not just a comedian.
(crowd laughing)
I'm also part owner of Delta airlines.
(audience applauding)
oh, thank you.
Well, that's fine.
I appreciate it.
Listen, y'all don't gotta clap, it's cool.
I'm not one of those arrogant CEOs,
I don't need that type of acknowledgement from anybody.
To be honest, I don't even like to talk about it.
I swear to God you wouldn't even know
unless you check my resume, LinkedIn or Tinder.
That's the only place I talk about it.
I tell you guys the truth,
I don't even think Delta told their employees yet.
I don't think the employees know who I am.
I'm serious.
I was flying back home from Chicago
and I got my boarding pass and I was sitting in zone three,
I was like, "zone three?
This is weird."
But I was like, "you know what?
I'm not gonna make a big deal about it.
I guess it's just gonna be like
a undercover boss type of situation.
I'ma get get to see how my employees work, you know?"
I didn't make a big deal.
I didn't try to fire anyone or anything like that
but I did try to board the flight early.
When I got to the gate, the gate agent stopped me.
Could you believe she stopped me, she didn't know.
She didn't know who I was.
She was like, " sir, we did not call your zone yet."
And I was like, (Ian chuckling)
(audience laughing)
I was like, "miss, you must not read your emails,
but I own $111 worth to this company
so I'll get on whenever the hell I want, Bridget."
I'm thinking about selling.
To be honest, if anybody still has their refund check,
we can talk after the show.
Work out a good price.