Survivor Series, we all remember that right?
It was only last weekend after all and there was loads of really good stuff on it, like
umm, Samoa Joe getting eliminated in like a move, great stuff, umm, Carmella’s did
the floss because she likes the Fortnites, umm, Drake Maverick pissed himself, incontinence
is always funny.
But even with such staggering high highs, high high also being how I would describe
whoever wrote the storyline for the majority of the show, it seems like WWE has essentially
chucked most of what happened at Survivor Series out of the window.
Essentially they’ve botched up a whole bunch of storylines that were set-up during the
pay-per-view or in the run up.
I’m El Fakidor Laurie Blake and these are 8 WWE Botches that came out of Survivor Series.
8.
Bryan Working Babyface
You say Yes, WWE says No.
You say stop.
They say Daniel Bryan likes to kick people in the penis now.
It’s a lesser known Beatles song.
So you probably remember Smackdown from the week before Survivor Series, which featured
a very well publicised and no-two-ways-about-it heel turn from Mr D Bry as he punted AJ Styles
right in the spuds to win the WWE Championship.
I know I do.
Well, at Survivor Series WWE didn’t seem to care all that much about how bad the new
Bryan was.
Facing off against Lesnar, Bryan was tossed around more than a lonely teenager and it
looked like Brock would win with minimal effort, which for much of this year has been a suburb
of Suplex City.
Fortunately, that wasn’t the case here as Brock had come to play and so had Bryan, who,
yes, admittedly went after the crown jewels - quite the turn around from earlier this
month - but for the rest of the match it was if classic Bryan was in the ring.
The running knees, chop blocks, yes locks and all that stuff is so reminiscent of the
Bryan who won the title at WrestleMania 30 that I’m surprised they didn’t wheel out
Batista and make him tap out on the spot.
And the fans really bought into the fact that Bryan might be the one to slay the beast,
especially as this was the final opportunity for Smackdown to claw one back from the all
conquering reds.
So it didn’t matter if he was supposed to be heel in the ring, he was face in here.
But despite that reaction and the actually hard fought battle, two days later Bryan was
back on Smackdown acting like the exact thing he’s been kicking, a cock.
If you’re going to do that, why not just have him act more like a heel in his matches.
Double up on the cock shots, the cheap tactics, hell knock the referee over a few times.
Or they could have just turned him heel after Survivor Series.
He’s good enough to beat AJ Styles without resorting to testicular tactics, testactics,
so just wait for a week.
Tell the story that he’s angry about the Brock match or have him play the heel properly
at Survivor Series.
7.
Charlotte Turning Heel
Charlotte turned heel on Ronda Rousey at Survivor Series and that’s all there is to it.
Hitting someone thousands of times with a kendo stick before trapping their throat in
a chair doesn’t scream babyface behaviour to me, it doesn’t scream at all because
it’s got a crushed windpipe.
But the thing is actually it does, because we’re all stupid and don’t understand
the storylines.
Side note, I would love to hear Road Dogg read bedtime stories.
The Tiger Who Came To Tea was just being a badass.
So Charlotte smashes up Ronnie with the kendo stick and chair, but then comes out on Smackdown,
just two days on from her attempted murder, and she’s a babyface again.
She did it all for the SmackDown women and especially Becky Lynch, you know, the person
she hated two weeks ago.
If WWE were to stop endlessly insulting fans’ intelligence with their barking mad storylines,
then maybe their attendance figures wouldn’t keep falling off a cliff.
Everyone really bought into Charlotte turning on Ronda, as anyone within 100 miles of the
arena on Sunday would have heard.
But no, it looks like this is the age of the badass babyface in the women’s division.
And that’s not necessarily a complaint, it’s just that the action and the story
seem to be saying something different.
6.
Ronda Not Selling Her Injuries
And despite nearly needing to call in forensics following the match between Ronda and Charlotte,
Ronda seemed mostly fine come Monday night.
Because despite a limp she was out there on the ramp smiling, waving and high fiving the
kids.
Essentially no selling her injuries from Survivor Series.
I mean, she was grievously injured by Alexa Bliss earlier this year, Alexa Bliss, it’s
like being mauled by a puppy.
Anyway, on Raw on Monday you can actually see the moment Ronda’s face turns from “I
love you all so much” to “oh yeah I’m supposed to be grumpy” every time she cuts
a promo, which sort of gives the game away that it’s not real.
It would only be more obvious if she cleared her throat and went...
Look, I don’t know about you, but if I had been repeatedly hit with a stick, had my throat
trapped in a chair and then stamped on, I think I’d 1) be a bit sore, and 2) be a
bit irritated the next day when I turned up to work.
Thankfully it seems Ronda got all of her frustration out on Twitter, the ultimate therapy, by talking
about glueing shut unknown body parts and telling Charlotte that it’s not over between
them.
Water under the bridge.
Basically WWE are so set against making Ronda look weak that it will end up damaging her
character.
I’m all for seeing someone act dominant, but that doesn’t mean they can’t sell
when they’re in pain.
In fact, having Rousey compete while injured is one of the few things that will give people
a fighting chance against her.
And you can’t hide the welts on Ronda’s arms, they were visible proof that she would
have been in considerable pain after the fight, so why not lean into it?
It only furthers the overall story, a wasted opportunity.
5.
No Mention Of The Clean Sweep
Now I’m not sure if this is just a English thing, but if I was Raw and had scored a 6-0
clean sweep at Survivor Series you wouldn’t hear the end of it.
We’re still talking about that World Cup we won that one time fifty years ago.
But one thing WWE has in common with the England football team is their ability to disappoint
- the Raw clean sweep was basically swept under the rug.
So that begs the question...what was the point of the scoring system?
You make the whole show about SmackDown vs Raw, and then don’t bother to mention it
a day later on Raw, the show that one and is therefore the supremist of the brands?
And you’d have thought that Shane McMahon, the guy who threatened to sack one of his
own roster if they didn’t win the WWE World Cup, would be a bit upset that his roster
lost all of their matches.
Maybe sacking everyone involves way too much paperwork.
Instead, he teamed with the Miz and lost to a couple of jobbers in a comedy segment, presumably
in some kind of PTSD coping mechanism.
It’s just another kick in the plums for anyone who dared to think that WWE gave a
hoot about Survivor Series.
If the stipulations don’t matter, then don’t advertise them as stipulations.
We’re not going to go into TLC next month and not have a TLC match, we didn’t have
Great Balls of Fire without a load of flaming balls.
Don’t be stupid.
4.
Shane Forgetting His Tweets
It was a bad week for Shane, who not only forgot that his roster were entirely useless
- on the main card - but he also clearly has Twitter related amnesia, as he also forgot
a tweet he did after the Survivor Series went off air.
This wasn’t the night I had in mind for Team Blue.
Tomorrow is a new day, but something is going to have to change come Tuesday.
#SurvivorSeries
Admittedly, it’s a new day, yes it is, at Smackdown every week.
But this sounded like there would be some sort of shake-up on the blue show.
But come Tuesday, nada, zilch, nothing, Smackdown rolled on and nothing had changed, I mean,
even a rolling stone gathers moss?
I guess he didn’t specify which Tuesday he meant, so he’s just being deliberately
ambiguous so that no matter when things change, he won’t be called a liar.
New Year’s Day is on a Tuesday this year, so maybe he’s just reminding himself to
make a resolution for 2019.
‘Be less shit’
3.
Where Is AJ Styles?
Perhaps the kick to the Phenomenal Plums from Daniel Bryan did more damage than first thought,
because there has been no sign of AJ Styles since he lost his WWE Title and the ability
to have more children two weeks ago.
Surely he’s angry?
Losing the belt you’ve held for over a year is sure to make you teste.
But no, he made no attempt to interrupt ‘The New Daniel Bryan’ on Smackdown, who came
into the house that AJ Styles built and is acting like he owns the place?
Because he’s wearing a comfy cardi and looking like he’s settled right in.
There has been news that AJ is negotiating a new deal with WWE, and that he wants to
work fewer dates in the future, so could this just be WWE trying to limit his TV time so
that the reduction of Styles matches isn’t such a shock in future.
He is advertised for a rematch with Bryan at TLC though, so you’d have thought WWE
would be keen to make the most of the few short weeks before that show, but nah, we’ll
do it on the night very much seems to be the WWE mantra right now.
Do it on the night and forget all about it.
2.
SmackDown’s Phantom Win
Do you remember how Smackdown’s tag team team won their match on the pre-show of Survivor
Series?
Well WWE doesn’t want you to, so fire up the neuralyzer, hit your head on the door,
turn it off like a light switch, whatever you’ve got to do because Smackdown did not
win one singular match at Survivor Series.
And Michael Cole was there to make sure sure we all knew it didn’t happen by constantly
making sure everybody knew the pre-show didn’t matter.
So why even bother having a pre-show?
Why not put Murphy and Ali on the pre-show which had no stake in Survivor Series proper?
Or if you wanted Raw to have a clean sweep, then just don’t give SmackDown a victory
at all, pre-show or not.
Raw and SmackDown
Not only was Survivor Series a deeply confusing show, the Raw and SmackDown shows this week
were about as watchable audiobook.
Not only did nothing happen, but nothing happened to such a degree that it was damaging to everything
it touched.
As you’ll have seen from both Oli and Luke’s reviews of the shows, we weren’t particularly
impressed by anything on either show.
They lacked interest, storylines, and most importantly, they lacked Becky Lynch, which
is pretty much the only interesting thing on WWE TV between now and Royal Rumble.
How fast do faces unbreak?
-----
Speaking of Becky Lynch and that broken face of hers, WWE have had to change plenty of
plans because of her mashed up mush.
Click the video on-screen now if you want to find out what they are.
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I’ve been El Fakidor and that was lucha.