- Hey everybody, happy Thursday,
I'm Kati Morton, I'm a licensed therapist,
if you didn't know, this is my mental health
channel on YouTube.
Where we talk about all things mental health.
If you are not subscribed, make sure your subscribed,
and make sure you have that bell,
that notification thing checked.
So that when I put up a video, you hear about it.
But today's question is something that I get asked a lot.
And so I just decided to have, kind of like a
coffee and a chat with you about it.
And the question is, "When is it okay to give up?"
"I'm never going to get better."
And I don't actually know where I received this
question at, it could've been in a letter that I got
from one of you, or it could've been on Twitter.
But I just had it in my phone, I emailed it to myself.
So know, if you ask a question and I tell you
I've added it to my list, I've legitimately have.
My list is just very, very long.
But let's talk about this, because I know many
of you feel this way, and when is it okay to give up?
And I know that you all already kinda my answer,
but the truth of it is, that its never okay give up.
What I would give up on, is potentially your
treatment team, or our faulty way of thinking,
or maybe the people in our life that are just
pieces of shit and are just bringing us down
instead of helping us.
Those are the things I would give up on,
before I would give up on myself.
Because I want you all to hear that,
when we give up those things that I talked about,
we will be more empowered to make
positive change in our lives.
Yes, therapists can be shitty at their jobs.
Also, it might just not be the right fit,
like some of you out there
might not like me that much, and that's okay.
We need to find a therapist that you connect with,
that you really like, and you feel is on your team,
and supporting you, and you should feel that way
about every member of your treatment team.
And yes, I know, not everybody has the ability,
the resources, to see the right person, but there are
ways to get our needs met in other ways.
That could be like friends and family support,
and that can be group therapy, that can be online therapy,
or texting, chatting, all sorts of ways that we can
get the support when we need it the most.
Don't give up on that, you deserve that.
And the next thing I mentioned was faulty thinking,
and something that I'm even working on is knowing
that the thoughts that we have in our head,
this is going to blow your mind potentially,
but the thoughts we have running in our head,
we believe it to be ourself, that this is,
that's my true self, I'm speaking from my experience,
and that's the real person that I am.
Is that voice in my head.
I'm here to tell you that's not true,
that's not who you are,
that's essentially your thoughts and feelings,
shoved through the filter of life experience
about what's around you.
Does that make sense?
So the thoughts actually aren't you,
they're just like an interpretation based on all
that you've been through and how you're feeling that day,
and a lot of other factors,
its your interpretation of it at that time.
And your thoughts about it.
So know that, the reason I even say this, is because
I want you to know that you don't
have to listen to them.
They aren't the truth.
They're essentially just our thoughts
and interpretations, and they tell a lot of lies also.
So know that you have the ability to sit back,
imagine that your like in your brain,
this is something I do, imagine that I'm like a little
creature, I'm in my brain, I picture like a little
wooden man, I don't know why, and he sits in the corner,
and he just watches all these thoughts swirl and twirl,
about everything, from, "Wow, that's a really pretty flower,
oh, I don't like that one next to it, ooh, it stinks.
No that ones really pretty though,
purples my favorite color."
And it thinks about everything right, thoughts spin
and swirl about everything in our life,
but I can sit back like that little wooden man
in my brain and I can just watch it,
I don't have to participate.
And I know that this is a huge concept,
and there's a lot that I could just talk about
when it comes to simply that.
But know that you can do that too.
You can just sit back and watch.
You can also take a more engaged approach,
where you argue back.
I talk about that all the time.
Where we take note of the nasty things,
that those thoughts say about us,
our true self, they talk nasty about our true self.
And we can argue back and be like, "You're a liar.
I know you're a liar because I have all of this evidence.
I also know you're a liar because that doesn't have any
fact to hold it up."
We can talk back and we can argue, so that we,
in essence don't believe those thoughts,
and we don't engage with them.
So there are many ways that we can kinda fight against
those thoughts that are not us, okay?
That was the second thing, faulty thinking.
Then the third thing that we can give up on,
are people in our lives that are toxic and bring us down.
And I don't fully believe that other people are toxic
themselves, but it can be a bad recipe,
you plus them just doesn't go together, you know.
Just doesn't work out.
It's a bad recipe.
So if there are people in your life that you find just
draining you emotionally, we call them motional vampires,
always taking, never giving, or always, you know, kind of
giving you like, comple-sults, you know where it's
like a compliment, its an insult wrapped in a
compliment, its actually a put down.
If you find those happening, notice,
and know that you don't have to be around those people.
We can set up healthy boundaries, I have videos about that,
I also have other videos about how to deal with toxic
people, because we can get them out of our lives.
Just like, you know, splinters that fester,
our body doesn't want them, our mind doesn't want those
people around us, and we can actually get rid of them.
So those are the things you can give up on,
but don't give up on yourself.
Because it's never okay to do that, you have so much
potential, you are here for a reason, I'm a firm
believer, that we are all placed on this earth for a reason.
There are things that we are supposed to accomplish,
lives we're supposed to touch, maybe inventions and other
scientific discoveries that were supposed to be a part of.
Music we're supposed to write, poems we're supposed
to put out in the world that
helps someone finally feel heard.
We're all here for a reason.
So do not give up.
You can, and will get better.
Sometimes we just need different support,
we need other things in our live,
maybe we need to give up on those
other things I talked about.
But know, that you're worth it,
and that with the right support, and with the right help,
and the right belief in yourself, it does get better.
I hope you found that helpful, if there are other
things you think we should give up on,
leave them in the comments.
There's a lot of things we should turf.
But don't give up on yourself.
You're worth it.
I love you.
And I'll see you next time. Bye.