- It was funny when you said something that I wouldn't
discuss on the first date was sexual.
- Oh.
- Positions and like I don't think sex is a conversation,
I think it's an action.
So when I'm going on a first date, it's like I don't want
to talk about sex.
If we get there we gonna know what that's about.
- Yeah,
- You know what I mean, so, you were dead on.
I don't live with boundaries.
I don't need to know the end of the story
to jump in.
Being in relationships with people where they're so cautious
or you know, I gotta make sure that the story
is what this says at the end, I'm like, I'm ready
to create the story.
- I think that to be able to say, I am happily married.
Is probably the best state you could ever find yourself,
for any body and conversely if you're unhappily married,
it's probably one of the most miserable feelings
in the world, so, I'm still in between.
Now I'm neither married, I'm not married,
I'm not, you know, divorced, so,
I'd like to do it one time and make it work.
- Your name is Kevin and this is your story.
You're 43, you work in entertainment.
You grew up in Los Angeles
and your cultural background, is African American.
- My Name is Spencer.
I'm 44, I work as a manager for a fitness company.
African American.
Alright, your name is Rhonda.
45, you work as a beautician.
And you grew up in DC, African American.
- So my name is Natasha.
I am 42.
I do work in the beauty industry, I'm a manicurist.
I grew up in DC which is weird,
and I am, well I'm African American
but I'm mixed.
Why Rhonda?
- I don't know.
It just hit me.
- Just hit you, Rhonda?
Alright I'm Rhonda.
- You hate Rhonda?
- I don't know, I just don't want to be Rhonda.
- You're not, Rhonda has gone away.
- Rhonda's gone.
- I got the other stuff though.
- You did, so why did you think DC?
- It just hit me.
- I'm definitely DC.
Why 45?
- It was a guess, I was pretty close.
- Yeah you were, I'm not too mad about 45.
I think you saw wisdom.
- Yeah okay.
Well I enjoy cooking and that's something
that is really a throwback from my childhood,
watching my great grandmother and my grandmother.
I was pretty fortunate, I was raised in a household
that had three generations of ladies.
I remember as a kid I would get so excited on the day
that my great grandmother would make chicken and dumplings
which was my favorite things growing up.
Now, I make a lot of those recipes but I update them,
put my own healthy twist to 'em.
I actually won an award, a golden spoon award
for one of my great grandmother's dishes that I updated.
- So culturally my grandmother was German,
and my grandfather was African American.
Growing up in a biracial home, it gave me,
I would like to think, the best of both worlds.
They raised me to believe I was beautiful
despite what color looked like
and I think that that has given me so much as a woman today
to just be strong in this world where you know,
culture seems to like really serve
in a negative space sometimes.
- If you could be a pro athlete you would be
in the WNBA.
The first concert you ever went to is Mary J.
Something you won't discuss
on the first date sexual positions.
Person who has had the biggest influence in your life
is your mom.
- Okay, you asked if I could be a pro athlete
I would be Muhammad Ali.
- So you are into boxing apparently.
- I mean I like sports, you know what I mean.
I work with men so I have a lot of clients
who are athletes.
So and then growing up, just being around boys
I was raised around a lot of boy cousins
and brothers, like I had to know how to fight,
I had to know how to like keep up.
- Yeah, hold your own.
- Or they would have beat me up, yeah.
My first concert was Heavy D and Salt N Pepa.
I haven't even seen Mary J.
- Never?
- I've been to a concert where I was behind stage
but not like be able to sit there and watch her,
like that's my girl, we're sisters,
she doesn't know that but.
Something I won't discuss is expectations.
- Hmm.
- And the biggest influence in my life would be my kids.
- Hmm.
- You know being a mom young and raising a son
it just made me have to change so many things
about myself as a woman, raising a man.
- Mmhmm.
- So, - mmhmm.
- If you could be a pro athlete
you would be Sugar Ray Leonard.
Your first concert, I didn't answer that one, I didn't know.
Something you wouldn't want to discuss on a first date
would be commitment.
And the person who had the biggest influence in your life
is your mother.
- If I could be a pro athlete I would be
a major league baseball player.
First concert I ever went to was the Jacksons.
Something you won't discuss on the first date
my last relationship.
And the most influential person in my life
has been my grandmother.
- Awesome.
It was funny when you said something I wouldn't discuss
on the first date was sexual,
positions and like I don't think sex is a conversation,
I think it's an action.
So when I'm going on a first date its like
I don't want to talk about sex.
If we get there we gonna know what that's about.
You know what I mean, so you were dead on.
- Yeah.
So, on the deal breakers side,
I'm pretty serious about mutual respect.
So disrespectful people, rude people,
I'm not into the narcissism thing.
So you know, if you're constantly in the mirror,
and selfie-ing and it's just like,
almost an obsession that's a turn off to me.
Flaky people.
I do not like flaky people.
If you say it, you should have some commitment
to live up to it.
That's kind of what I'm looking for.
- I've been married so I would say that
right now I think that I'm looking for that guy that
we could be friends.
I think friendship is great, I'm looking for someone
that is a communicator.
Someone that stands for something,
someone who has goals.
I want a person to be able to come into my life
and be who they say they are.
You know, I don't have any, I can take care
of myself, I'm not looking for much, but just realness.
You know, that's a big deal.
Your top three priorities in life are work, family,
and your faith.
Something that has disappointed you about past relationships
would be someone that was a cheater.
You do not believe that people with different
political beliefs can have a successful marriage.
The most quality to install in your kids
is good work ethic and belief.
- Alright.
- Ah shucks now.
- My top three priorities in life are family,
financial security and love.
- Okay.
- Something that has disappointed me
in past relationships has been lack of trust, trust issues.
I do believe people with different political beliefs
can have a successful marriage but I think
it would be extremely difficult.
- Mmhmm.
- The most important quality to instill in them
is independence.
- Mmhmm.
- Okay so, I said for you, some of these mirrored mine,
I said your top three would be family,
financial security and love.
- Mmhmm.
- Cheating would be something that has disappointed you
in the past.
- Mmhmm.
- That you do believe people
with different political beliefs
could have a successful marriage.
And the most important quality to instill in kids,
I said you would say pride.
- Awesome.
So for me, my top priorities in life are family,
love, and my belief, my faith.
Something that has disappointed me in past relationship
I would say would be accountability.
I do not believe that, this one was a kind of tricky one
for me because I sti, like you, like I believe
that people could do it, but I just think
it would be hard.
- Very difficult.
- We, you like Obama, Trump like?
- Yeah right.
- I'm mad at you tonight like sleep on the couch.
So I don't know.
The most important quality to instill in my kids
is being accountable.
And again having pride and having faith and just
being who they say they are.
So we kind of like, we meshed.
- Right. - Yeah.
- And one thing you mentioned that I didn't,
was accountability, that's so huge.
People very reluctant to be responsibly
and take accountability for their mistakes
or their actions, they want to blame other people,
they want to.
- That's a big deal.
- Yeah.
- And like with my kids, I'm so big on accountability.
They didn't do it, she didn't do it, he didn't do it.
- It wasn't me.
Well who was it?
You know and to this day,
accountability is a big thing for me.
- I agree, it is.
- We all make mistakes.
- We're human.
- We're humans, so if I take accountability
you know, with that, you'll respect me.
- And it leads to trust. - exactly.
- Because now I know I can see you're a person of integrity.
- You tried. - Yes.
Exactly, exactly.
So yeah, big deal, big deal, accountability guys.
When I fist saw you I said that I would date you.
So now that we've talked I said that I would.
- Right so when I first opened my eyes
I said I probably wouldn't date you.
- Okay, okay.
- I thought maybe she's more like a B girl
or something like that.
- Okay.
- Like yo yo, like you did yo yo a little bit.
- East coast.
- Yeah yeah yeah, but I was like, you know,
I don't know, I don't know if we would necessarily,
vibe. - Vibe.
- And then after sitting and talking with you
for a while, I said that I would.
- Okay, awesome.
- I had such a nice time just chatting with you.
I was very impressed by you.
The depth you showed, the conversation
was so like clean and it, just felt like it
was a natural flow.
And again, you don't know when you just glance or
- Mm-mm.
- View someone, you don't know what they're thinking
or how they move in the world but I think
you're a quality woman and it was a pleasure to meet you.
- Awesome.
So for me, when I opened my eyes I said, Natasha,
you have to get out of your box.
And you have to think different, you can't always have
a look to someone that you want, or a perception,
like try something new.
And so after talking to you, I was like wow,
I enjoyed the conversation, we kind of like,
had some of the same answers, you know it was the vibe
was cool, I just know in my life right now.
I got to open up a little bit so.
I'm a hugger so I'll give you a hug.
Nice to meet you to. - Nice meeting you.
- Thank you.
It was fun.
- It was a little nerve wracking going in,
but then once we started talking,
it just felt very peaceful and calm and,
- Yeah. - Natural.
- But just so you know when you walked up,
I was like oh, he smells good.
- Thank you,
- So he has a nice cologne on, I was like okay.
- Thank you.
- Cool.
- And thank you.
- You're welcome.
That was cool.
- Stage left.
- Do we go off the same way or, what we do?
I'm gonna go this way.
Thank you.
♪ Soul Pancake ♪