-Let´s just jump right into the awkwardness
of writing a book about your life.
Was that a hurdle for you to get over
to open up and tell all these stories to people?
-I´ve been able to hide behind characters for my career,
which has been such a luxury.
And then I thought, "Well, you know what?
You know, maybe I have something to say," you know?
And I could tell people about how lonely I was growing up
or how insecure I felt or jealous or whatever.
And so I thought, "I´m gonna write a book."
[ Sighs ]
[ Laughter ]
-How quickly into it
did you feel that deep sigh that you just gave us?
-[ Chuckles ] Pretty quickly. -Yeah.
-And now that it´s coming out, I´m really proud of it,
because I hope that -- I don´t know.
The idea of, like, a collective experience,
like, the insecurities that we all face.
-Yeah, I think a lot of people --
-What are your insecurities?
-What are my insecurities? -Mm-hmm.
-I certainly -- growing up, I had nothing but insecurities.
Like, I felt very -- -Like what?
-What? Like what? -Yeah.
-Like, I didn´t -- I could-- I had stage fright.
I didn´t get onstage until --
I´d never wanted to do school plays or anything like that
until I was, like, late in high school.
-I was known as the short kid.
Like, that was my identity.
And I think that everyone has, like,
that sort of the adjective that described them.
So, what was yours?
-Oh, what was the adjective that described me?
-Yeah. Like... -It´s not an adjective,
but I think "Braces" would have been a very good...
[ Laughter ] -I was "Headgear."
-You were "Headgear"? -I totally trump you.
-Yeah. Did you actually wear headgear to school?
-Yeah. -No!
-Oh, God, it was the worst mistake.
-How bad were your teeth? -Lacy was going to --
She was like, "You´re headgear girl.
I´m gonna kick your ass."
-Well, Lacy was very bad at nicknames.
[ Light laughter ]
"Oh, you have a headgear.
You know what we´re gonna call you?
´Headgear Girl.´" [ Light laughter ]
-Oh, God. Now I´m shaking.
-Yeah, I remember once going --
I had so much anxiety about going to parties.
And I think the first time I got invited to a party,
I was asking my dad, "What should I wear?"
And he helped me pick out an outfit,
and then I went, and I realized that
I was dressed the way my dad would be dressed at a party.
[ Laughter ] -Like what?
-Like, everybody else was in jeans and T-shirts,
and I was, like, with a sweater tucked into khakis.
[ Light laughter ] -Ohh. I love that.
-With the belted khakis and... -And you got laid, right?
-I did not. [ Light laughter ]
Although it would have been
a very inappropriate age to get laid.
[ Laughter ] So thank God.
Thank God I dodged that bullet.
And you -- this was sort of --
I mean, you had a platform of doing this podcast.
So your podcast "Unqualified," as well,
and you take -- you give people advice.
-Which is...unbelievably absurd
because I have no idea what I´m talking about.
[ Laughter ] But...
-And you´ve let people know that by the title of your podcast.
You´re not claiming to be an expert.
-I try to -- I try to reinforce it.
-Yeah. -Over and over.
-And what sort of issues do people want your advice with?
-Well, they, you know, people -- we talk to --
I started the podcast
because I wanted to kind of talk to strangers.
-Uh-huh. -Without the format of --
of Hollywood or fame. -Sure.
-Or, you know... -Yeah.
-...just as creepy people do. -[ Laughs ] Yeah.
-But, so people -- so we -- we talked to people about --
our most common themes tend to be,
"Why doesn´t he or she like me?" -Okay.
-But we´ve now -- we´ve had some pretty interesting callers.
Recently, we had a woman who had a threesome with her fiancé...
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-...and a woman that they met on Facebook.
And the woman called up a month later and said she was pregnant.
-The -- The extra woman. The third woman?
-The third woman. -Oh, God.
They did -- Oh, it was you?
[ Laughter ]
-40! Still got it!
[ Laughter ]
-Wow. That -- What kind of advice do you give there?
-Oh, I was [Chuckling] totally speechless.
-Yeah. -I mean, what do you say?
But, you know, I think I was just asking her,
like, "Are you and your fiancé okay?"
Because, in my book,
I talk about things that sound better than they are.
-Uh-huh.
-And one of them is having a threesome.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Have you had a threesome?
-I´ve never had a threesome. -Ohh.
-I almost did, but they said, "Khakis?"
[ Laughter ]
That close.
Khakis were the deal-breaker. [ Applause ]