let me start by making a distinction between focusing and teaching focusing
between focusing and instructions because I find that in every kind of
helping different modes of therapy different approaches to body where every
different kind of thing that has ever helped anybody if the person being
helped focuses then the help of person is glad they may not recognize it
because they've never heard of focusing but they'd laugh it's easier to work
with a person who has that kind of internal connector nobody's against
focusing is to my point a lot of people however have trouble with the fact that
a therapist or a helping person would stop the helping process and teach teach
focusing give instructions tell people what to do and there's a difference
there the focusing belongs to the person focusing is done by the person by the
client by whoever you're helping instructions are something else they're
done by the helping person right by the therapist by whoever it is it's trying
out so the focusing instructing and here comes a contradictory thing the focusing
instructing needs to be very specific to help people find it so we have these
little steps and do it for a minute exactly the way I tell you you don't
want to do what I tell you well that's fine don't do what I tell you but if you
want to find this try exactly this understand this exactly so and so and so
oh there now you didn't find it well why not and then you hear from the person
and then you know of course that you have to fiddle with the stuff for each
individual person so focusing teaching needs to be very specific on the other
hand when you become very specific then you have it a particular
way so then I would like you to be very specific when you teach and at the same
time I need you to be pleased that other people are being very specific in a very
different way they're not using your specifics so here's the six steps well
that too general but anyway there's somebody has seven steps that I want
that I don't want you to think that there is one way to teach it each
individual needs particular fiddling to find it but the
closer we can come the more specific we can be the better so I would like you to
if you're teaching focusing in the future if you're new today that's okay
I'd like you to teach it right away teach your husband teach your kids teach
your neighbor teach anybody who will sit still for it and at the same time I
would like you to want to look at Ann Wiser's very specific way of doing it as Nada's
very specific way of doing it or anything like that so that's a sounds
contradictory I'd like you to see the variety of how to teach and then do it
any way you want it's that clear nobody can tell you how to do it but if you
watch them or if you read their stuff you may find something you want to use
there that's the teaching if you don't think if you're a therapist and you
don't think that focusing instructions should be given as part of the therapy
because it interrupts the process well then have one of your colleagues teach
that patience focusing we have good research from 25 years ago already
showing that if therapists end their difficult clients whom they have trouble
with who are stuck to a focusing teacher when they come back from the focusing
teaching about half of them do through the therapy much better and the
therapist is very impressed the other half don't do any better but then if you
look at the research you see the ones who do better other ones who really
learn the focusing I will say when you just said that
and I put my hand on my in the middle ear between my chest in my belly
summarize a what do you have what comes in here when you say that and we've very
many about half the people right away something deeper comes immediately so I
recommend that to all helping people whether they know about focusing or not
even if nothing comes for you you can say that to somebody what comes through
for you here when you said that right away it deepens the whole thing the
other half say back did you say so then you say never mind that's alright you
were just saying and you can go on smoothly like that little tiny things
don't get in the way so much or you can say back to somebody instead of they say
I'm scared of such-and-such instead of saying back you're scared of
such-and-such you can say there's something in there that's scared or
there's some fear in there or there is a thing in there that's scared or and
you're pointing to where a felt sense would come so anyway the distinction I'm
setting up is between focusing which belongs to the person comes from inside
and teaching focusing which is the other person is doing
you