We want to feel good, instead of bad.
We gravitate towards pleasure and we avoid pain.
Because of this,
we like comfort and we want to feel comfortable.
But the shadow of this natural inclination
is that as a result of it,
we can easily get stuck in the comfort zone.
Disclaimer (pause to read):
Why It Is Dangerous To Be Committed To Comfort
When we are committed to comfort
our actual aim is to avoid risk.
Risk brings us into the land of uncertainty.
Uncertainty where there's the potential for unwanted
and the potential for pain.
Because of this, risk is anxiety inducing
and we don't like anxiety.
So, in order to try to avoid that anxiety,
we try to keep ourselves in a place of neutrality, instead.
I say neutrality, because when we're committed to comfort
we get into a behavioral state
where in the name of risk aversion,
we make decisions and take actions
that prevent both pain and pleasure.
When we do this,
we're not really happy,
we're also not really unhappy.
We're just...
Comfortable enough to not make changes.
The comfort zone is a place that feels safe to us
But if it feels safe to us,
that's because we don't have enough awareness.
The comfort zone
is one of the most dangerous places to occupy.
And the commitment to comfort,
is one of the most dangerous things you can do in this universe.
Not only dangerous for you,
but also dangerous for any being
that is part of any system that you yourself are a part of.
You did not come to this planet,
to this life,
to this time space reality,
to avoid risk.
You did not come here to be "comfortable"
you came here so that this time space reality
could assist your own personal expansion
and so that you could play a role
in the expansion of others around you.
This expansion that happens on a personal level
and also with the people in your life,
expansion that you're a part of,
adds up to universal expansion
which just so happens to be something
that this universe is wholly committed to.
Where there is an end to expansion
there is an end to life.
That's something that all people must powerfully understand.
And it is this contrast
that we experience in our existence here
that adds to expansion.
What I mean by contrast,
is that it is the unwanted
that gives rise to the wanted.
Right?
it is your knowing of pain,
that gives rise to the concept of pleasure.
So, it is these unwanted,
these painful things,
these uncomfortable things,
which create this process of expansion
in the direction of what is wanted,
in the direction of what we could call positive.
The experience of unwanted
is meant to cause you to change toward what is wanted.
And in a time space reality where time is an element
of that perceptual reality,
we experience this as movement,
growth, improvement and progress.
Being committed to comfort,
causes a plateau regarding expansion.
It causes stuckness
where there is no change or movement,
it causes stagnation.
It causes decline
and it causes worsening.
Because this state of anti-expansion
is not in the best interests of you,
not in the best interest of the people around you,
and not in the best interest of the universe at large,
it's a pretty dangerous thing to maintain.
It means that the universe itself
is going to act against it.
Being committed to comfort
and being in the comfort zone
means that you are out of alignment
with the universe at large.
And it is a massive invitation
for the elements in the universe at large
to move against those things
that are causing you to stay stuck.
Before I get into this example,
because I'm gonna give you a very clear but harsh example of this,
it must be understood
that whenever you are in that place of comfort,
you are stuck.
And if that does not benefit you,
then all the elements that are keeping you comfortable,
are going to be moved against.
Now, I say against
so that you can understand what it's gonna feel like,
but I will explain how it's not really against,
even when it is against...
in a little bit.
First, let's look at this very harsh
example of this dynamic.
Sarah and Damian were in a relationship for 15 years.
Sarah was often unhappy with the relationship
but many of her needs were met by Damian.
Being with him made her comfortable
especially because it was a relationship that kept her away
from the anxiety of financial worry.
Damien had no interest in changing anything about himself
or their life,
he controlled their relationship and life
so as to make sure he was comfortable.
This included avoiding doing any uncomfortable work on himself
or on their relationship,
like, self-reflecting or counseling.
Damien getting upset in any way
caused Sarah to go into anxiety
and to seek her own personal comfort again.
So, she avoided getting into discussions or arguments with him.
She kept the house the way he wanted,
she made excuses for his poor behavior around other people
and simply avoided inviting other people over
that might upset him.
She stayed focused on what did work in their relationship,
their business of flipping houses.
The problem with this business of flipping houses
is that it served as a major distraction
that prevented them from looking at dealing with
the very real problems in the rest of their life.
So, it was a tactic to keep themselves comfortable.
In a state of avoidance.
Sarah intentionally kept Damien in his comfort zone
so that she could stay in her comfort zone.
Because both of them were so committed to comfort,
the things they were using to stay comfortable
began to be opposed.
First, a book was put in Sarah's path
that challenged her ideas of relationships
and led to an argument with Damian,
but she stopped reading the book
because that argument rocked the boat so much
and threatened her own comfort.
Then, one of Sarah's relatives died.
It caused her to think about her life because life is temporary.
It caused her to think about what she wanted to change,
but the thought of making a change
brought in the potential of risk,
and so, she fell back into everyday life the way things were.
Then, Damien's closest friend ended the friendship with him.
Instead of reflecting on himself and on relationships in general,
he told himself:
"Ah, whatever, he was a terrible friend anyway
if he could wanna end relationship, I'm glad he's gone".
After that the little poodle dog
that Sarah used as a substitute
for the lack of intimacy she experienced with Damien
died suddenly.
But instead of facing the lack of intimacy in the relationship,
she just got another dog.
Then, Damian had a small heart attack.
Both of them were thrown way out of the comfort zone
and into anxiety when that happened.
Damien was faced with his own mortality,
Sarah was faced with losing the security that Damian provided.
Sarah knew it happened because Damian lost his closest friend
and was avoiding all self-reflection.
She knew they needed to make changes in their life
and together,
but the opportunity for change
that was opened up by that experience
was only one that they engaged in for about a week,
after that, Damien simply got on heart medication
and started telling Sarah
that when she would bring up anything upsetting,
she was contributing to the risk of him having another heart attack,
so she stopped completely.
And the two of them threw themselves into investing in
and flipping even more houses.
Pretty soon everything started to go wrong
on their house flipping projects,
I mean everything;
Up to the point where
at the very end there,
the purchase of three houses in a row
fell through.
But, when nothing seemed to be going right,
they simply took more vacations
and the vacation served as a new way
to avoid the problems they needed to face
and the discomfort that came with the risk of making changes.
This pattern kept going until one year later
Damien died of a massive heart attack.
The reality is that both Sarah and Damian
invited a universal escalation.
The very decisions that they kept making
that made them feel safer
because those decisions made them both feel more comfortable,
were in fact,
making them more unsafe
and bringing them more towards the things that they didn't want,
until ultimately, what manifested
is the very thing that they wanted to avoid.
Very important also to know,
instead of assisting each other's expansion,
they were in fact enabling and assisting each other's stuckness.
What this means for Sarah
is that through her enabling behavior
which was done to mitigate her own anxiety,
Sarah was in fact, an accessory to Damien's death
as well as to the death of her dog.
The thing she wanted most to avoid.
Because Sarah was so committed to comfort,
she was preventing her own expansion
as well as the expansion of the beings
who were a part of her immediate system.
And so, the universe began to force expansion
by opposing any of those things
that served to keep her stuck and plateaued.
I'm gonna spell something out for you,
as a big universal truth
that I do not ever want you to forget, okay?
Whenever you are committed to comfort
and are using something as a tool to keep yourself away from risk
to the degree that you are not in alignment with expansion,
those things that are serving to keep you comfortable,
will be targeted.
In fact, you may as well paint a giant bullseye straight on them.
This giant bullseye also gets painted
right over the top of people in your life
who are acting as tools in your life
to keep you stuck in some way or to keep you comfortable
and therefore away from your expansion in some way.
Because either you or they
are doing something that is also simultaneously
keeping them away from their personal expansion.
When these things are targeted, right?
The aim that the universe has is to put you back on track
and in alignment with your own personal progression
and therefore, back in alignment with the universe at large.
Using our previous example,
that meant the introduction of a book
that would shake up stagnation in the marriage,
the death of a relative,
a friendship loss,
the death of a dog,
a preemptive warning heart attack,
the prevention of their house flipping projects,
and then, Damien's death.
When this pattern happens,
you're going to feel like the universe is against you,
you're also going to feel like the universe is against the people
and the things around you in your life.
But this is not actually the case.
We're feeling this way
because we don't have that objective perspective.
From an objective perspective,
these things that you're using
so as to keep yourself in a state of comfort
and keep yourself comfortable,
are not actually in your best interests.
So when the universe goes to shake it up,
or when the universe "acts against "
those things that are keeping you
away from your own personal expansion
and are keeping you out of alignment with the universe at large,
it's really for you, instead of against you.
The same thing goes
for the people who are a part of this picture of comfort.
What I mean by that is that
let's say that you are using something in your life
to stay in that comfortable stuck place,
and so, a target is painted on that thing that you're using.
It's not like the universe is just taking things out
regardless of whether it's in the best interest of that thing,
if there is some thing that happens with that element in your life
that is keeping you comfortable,
that thing that is happening with them
is also in alignment with their personal expansion.
So really, it's like the universe from this higher perspective
is just causing these massive shifts
to any element in any system
that is creating that stagnation.
From a higher perspective,
the universe is messing with those cozy little jail bars
that you and the people around you
have built to keep yourself stuck.
Essentially, what this universe is doing
is orchestrating a full system liberation.
Because the system itself, has a tendency
of operating in a way to keep other elements of the system stuck.
But, as we all know
if people are not responsive to small stimulus
then there's an escalation,
and if they're not responsive to that escalation,
there's another escalation,
and as we all know, unfortunately
what it takes for some people
to get unstuck and out of the comfort zone,
is one of those whack a tree at 70 mile an hour experiences.
Ultimately in your best interest,
but dangerous don't you think?
It's tempting to think that the presence of fear and discomfort
means that you should avoid something,
it's tempting to think that the presence of risk
means that you shouldn't do something.
But, discomfort fear and risk
often doesn't mean that.
And in order to continue to expand,
assist in the expansion of others,
find happiness and stay in alignment with the universe,
you're gonna have to learn to lean into discomfort,
as well as take risks.
If you don't,
you might just be inviting
one of the most terrifying experiences.
You might just be
making yourself more unsafe than ever before.
And the scary part is
you won't even know it.
In other words,
by making sure you're comfortable enough
that you don't take risks,
you might just be taking the biggest risk of all.
Not just with yourself,
but with everything around you.
It's tempting to feel safe and to feel in control
when you are committed to comfort.
It's tempting to tell yourself
that it's smooth sailing
when you're in the comfort zone,
But really,
you might just find that those smooth waters
are leading you straight towards the biggest storm.
Have a good week.
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I want to thank you personally
for the bravery that you have to step into awareness.
I'll see you in the next video.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte @tanyaduarte / tanyaduarte.com