- Hey, player.
Are you starting to feel the pressure
that you should start dating in high school
and maybe even get a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Well, that's the question that deathgarden
asked me when he said, "Josh can you make a video
"about is it worth dating in middle school or high school?"
So today I wanna focus on the high school portion of it,
and whether or not it makes sense
to start dating in high school.
♪ This is the The Josh Speaks ♪
♪ You're watching The Josh Speaks ♪
For those of you that are new to the channel,
my name is Josh, and every single Monday through Friday,
I make videos sharing tips, ideas, and stories
teaching you how to be your best self.
And today I wanna really focus on dating
in high school, how to go about it,
does it make sense to do,
and whether it's right for you.
For me, I didn't start dating
until I was in high school.
I had my first girlfriend when I was a sophomore
and by that point I started to feel
like I could manage a relationship
and I could make one work.
I feel like, in high school you have
a little bit more freedom and responsibility
to do whatever you wanna do.
And because of that, you can choose
to be in a relationship, if that's what you want.
There are a few things you definitely should think
about if you're gonna start dating in high school.
And like I mentioned in the previous video,
the most important one to really to focus on is,
is a relationship gonna interfere with your school work?
The work in high school compared to middle school
is significantly harder.
You're now getting ready to worry
about standardized testing, you have SATs coming up,
PSATs and all these different things,
college placement exams, all this stuff to worry about,
which can really put a lot of stress on you,
which makes it harder to balance
that stress in a relationship.
For some of you, it's probably best to focus
on your own mental health.
If you feel like having a girlfriend or boyfriend
is just gonna be another stress layer on you,
then don't take it on if you don't need to.
I also think the term dating
needs to be split up here.
You can go on dates with people.
And by that I mean you can hang out with them,
you can spend time with them, you can talk to them,
and you don't have to be in an official relationship.
But some people use dating to mean boyfriend and girlfriend.
So I wanna kinda clarify those two.
If you wanna date someone,
or you wanna different people,
that's totally fine.
You don't have to be locked down in a relationship
with one person because that can add
extra layers of things you have to worry about.
But if you're just casually dating people,
talking to them, flirting with them,
that could be okay.
Ultimately, it comes down to what you feel you can handle.
But what makes high school a totally different
kind of environment is because by now,
people are expecting you to act on your own,
to approach your crash and talk to them.
Whereas in middle school,
you can do different things like have
your friends go talk to your crash,
or their friends come talk to you.
In high school, you're kind of on your own for this.
Sure, that doesn't mean that you can't have
you friends help you out,
but ultimately if you wanna start dating someone,
it's gonna require you to talk to that person,
and for you to set that up.
I know that the thought of dating in high school
can also be coupled with anxiety.
There is the fear of getting rejected,
there is trying to bridge the gap
between you and the person you like
if they're popular or if they have a lot of friends.
And there's also the idea of managing
your own social reputation in how other people perceive you.
I did a video more recently on how to talk
to the popular girl, if you're a nerd.
But these type of scenarios tend
to play out more so in high school.
So how do you get into that confident mindset
where you are ready to start dating
and you wanna make it happen in high school?
If your question is, should I be dating in high school,
but you really mean, how do I build the confidence
to go about actually doing it,
well then let's set this scenario up for you.
Everything is small steps.
If you wanna start dating in high school,
or even get a boyfriend or girlfriend,
it all begins with you taking that first step,
and at least saying hi and introducing yourself to them.
I put together a whole playlist on how to talk
to your crash with tons of videos
that you should definitely check out.
But ultimately, what I would say
is that, yes, it's totally fine to start
dating in high school.
Now if you are dating someone,
there are a few things that you should
probably take into consideration
while you're dating them,
so that you don't allow peer pressure
to creep in and control your decisions.
One of the most important things
you should really consider when you're dating
in high school is how far you're really gonna
take that relationship physically.
Some people take it all the way,
and start having sex.
Some people wanna hold off and wait
til they've been together for a long time.
Don't allow people to peer-pressure you,
and push you into moving further and doing things
that you're not so comfortable with just yet.
If you're afraid to start dating
because you don't really want
someone to pressure you into doing something physically,
or you're just afraid because you don't really know
how to even go about that kind
of stuff, don't worry.
You can still date someone,
you could still go out with them
and get to know them,
and progress with each other,
as long as you're open and honest
every step of the way.
Dating in high school doesn't exactly mean
you have to start having sex with that other person.
It could become a commonplace in high school
for people to be talking about that,
especially talking up a bigger game,
and making it sound like they've done
more than they actually have.
But if people are bringing that pressure
over to you, don't feel like you need to cave
and either lie to just meet their approval
or just actually do things,
just because you wanna be at that stage.
You have control over your own actions here.
So if you don't wanna start dating
because you're afraid of being rejected
or you don't wanna be branded as a loser
for asking out the wrong person, don't worry.
Everything in life is a learning experience.
So if you do make a misstep,
if something does backfire,
don't rule off dating altogether.
You could find someone that you really like
and really connect with.
You just gotta keep getting out there,
and meeting more people.
What do you think, though?
Are you in high school,
and you're at that point
where you wanna start dating?
Leave your comments below,
and we'll talk about it.
Before you go, I wanna let you know
that if you have a question
that you wanted to talk to me about in private,
you can always shoot me a DM
over on Snapchat or Instagram.
I do my best to answer as many questions as I can.
Now, like I said, check out the playlist
I have listed over there on the side,
so you can get into the comfortable pattern
of talking to your crash,
so that the idea of dating
isn't scary for you anymore.
I know you have what it takes,
and you have it in you, guys.
I wanna push you forward to get there.
As always, love and peace.