- Hey, everybody, happy Monday.
And I know, normally, you don't see me
in this capacity on a Monday, but surprise.
So, as most of you noticed, the wrong video went up.
I'm just having trouble with my computer,
I selected the wrong file to upload, and my bad.
But everybody's human, right?
And now I'm just having issues with the other video
keeps saying it's uploading and it's not, so here I am.
Ta-da.
And I know you guys like the FAQ stuff too,
so I figured I would do you a solid
and put out a video of FAQs.
And I'm sorry, the video for Monday,
I'm not even going to tell you what it was about,
because you're just going to have to wait.
Because it will upload sometime and
at the very latest, obviously, it'll be up next Monday.
So you have something to look forward to.
But, today, I have two questions.
Oh, and I had such a good time at Stagecoach,
I have a few more videos to upload.
I was tempted to upload them to Facebook
just so you can see because I got some bits of
my favorite songs from my favorite country stars.
Hooray.
But, I have a journal topic and I have two questions today.
So, before the sun goes down and I lose
my light, ah, let's get this going.
So, the first question is, and I get
this question all the time, so I was already
planning on doing it for Thursday's video,
but now I'll have to find some more questions.
So that's fine, right?
First question says, "Can I be happy and sad?
"It's like every day I put on a fake smile
"and it's confusing because I've lost the ability
"to tell whether I'm actually happy
"or pretending that I am.
"P.S. I love your videos and so many times
"you've saved my life, whenever I'm sad
"I can just watch your videos."
Aw.
And if you are having a hard time, I have so many videos.
Sweet Mother of God, I have like 500 videos.
So, search it, Kati Morton topic,
and changes are I have talked about it.
So, I hear this from you all the time, all of you.
Can I be depressed but be happy sometimes?
Can I fake it but still be depressed?
Yes, yes, yes.
You can be depressed and still be happy sometimes.
It's not 100%.
When we talk about the diagnostic criteria,
I'm trying to think of which depression video
I talk about this, but it doesn't matter, but it just
has to exist in your life, I think it's like
six months or something, I'd have to consult my
DSM and I'm filming on top of it,
so that makes it a little difficult.
But, it doesn't mean that every day, all day you feel it.
It's usually, the diagnostic criteria usually says
something to the effect of most days
it's present for most of the time.
That's very vague, right?
It's like, when you're talking about Bipolar Disorder
they say, like, mania must last a week for most of the day.
So, you know, it's kind of like that.
Of course we're going to have times when we feel happy.
Like, things are going to happen
in our life and we'll feel happy.
But that doesn't mean we're not depressed, okay?
So that's the first part of this question, I think.
Can I be happy and sad?
And the answer is, yes, normal people's emotions,
like people who aren't struggling with depression
or anxiety feel ups and downs of life.
That's just being human, that's what it is.
And the fact that it can be confusing because you've
lost the ability to tell whether you're actually
happy or pretending you are is honestly
part of the healing process, and paying
attention to you and who you are.
I find a lot of my clients, like, struggle to know
who they are, what they're about,
or what they like or don't like.
And sometimes, just working with your therapist,
yes, reach out to see a therapist, to talk about
when this started, how long has this been going on
and were we taught that maybe some
feelings weren't okay to have?
Like, I have a lot of clients who feel like
anger is not an okay emotion, or sadness
is not an okay emotion.
So then, even if we feel angry or sad,
we go around in our day like hi, yeah,
I'm feeling so great, I'm even skipping
along as I go, I'm so excited.
And that's not true, we feel like shit.
And it's okay to say I'm having
a bad day, and I don't feel well.
So, I think that that's kind of my take on it
is it's okay to feel both, that's normal,
and you don't have to pretend.
So, maybe try, I challenge you, if this is something
you struggle with, for half of a day,
twice this week, let's just be how we are.
Like, I'm tired right now, guys.
Stagecoach wore me out.
I'm an old lady, I can't stay up so long, eh.
That's a lot on my old lady feet.
My feet hurt, man.
And my voice is all like eh, because all that dust.
And I have a photo I'm going to share later,
if you want to see on my Instagram,
I had to buy a mask, like I'm Breaking Bad
and shit, so it was funny.
But anyway, that's just being honest,
that's real, to keep it real.
You just be how you're going to be
for two half days this week and see how it feels, okay?
That's my challenge.
Okay, second question.
"Hey, Kati, love your videos.
"I had a quick question.
"I'm a sophomore in college, and lately
"my friends have told me when I get too drunk,
"or blackout, I get really angry and mean.
"I was just wondering what could cause us
"to be angry drunks, and how to best address the problem,
"if in general when we're sober we're usually
"care-free and very kind to everyone.
"Thanks so much."
Now, this is something that I just thought,
what a good question.
I have a lot of people in my life,
a lot of people either in college,
that I noticed did this, or in my practice
say that they do this and they don't know why.
And they get really angry.
And I'm going to go to this old fashioned saying,
says what soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.
And my guess is usually, with my clients
this is usually what we work on,
what are you really going through?
Takes us back to kind of question number one, right?
Are we just pretending we're happy and we're care-fee,
but we're really angry about stuff that may have
happened to us at home growing up in our past.
You may have a really nasty boyfriend who cheated on us,
but you don't want to talk to anybody about it
because they're going to hate him and
we still love him and all that complication.
It could be anything going on.
And we are frustrated, and we are annoyed with people,
but we pretend that we that we feel okay.
When people ask, we're like yeah, I'm good, la la la.
But when we get drunk, all that pent up feeling,
all those times when we should have said
I just need you to walk away, I'm having
a really shitty day, or today's just crap,
and I don't know why this happened, or
God dammit, this guy is such an asshole, blah blah blah.
All those times we could have vented,
little by little by little, all along our path.
Maybe those times we need to scream into a pillow
or kick a ball into a wall over and over and over again.
They all come out when we're drunk
because there's nothing to hold it back,
and there's no part of us that's like
we have to put on a good face and smile and be so friendly.
There's nothing like that, so it all comes out at once.
And it can be really embarrassing to the person
who does it and hard for their friends to be around them.
And then when we wake up the next day,
if we're the person that does that,
then we just feel terrible, and we're like
why did I do that?
Because we haven't vented.
We're like teapots and we're full of emotion.
And so I would encourage you to either start journaling
about it, like I said, screaming into a pillow.
Venting and being honest, let's be
real for a little bit here.
This week everybody, let's just be real, keep it real.
How are you feeling, what's going on?
It's okay to feel bad, it's okay to feel good,
it's okay to be in between, it's okay to feel lazy,
it's okay to feel motivated, whatever feeling.
You know that little thing where
it's like how are you feeling today?
Well, today, I'm exhausted.
And that is just the truth.
So, how are you feeling today?
Let me know below.
What are we going to do to fix that,
what are we going to do to make it better?
Because that's really what it's about.
It's not about feeling good all the time,
it's about working on ourselves all the time.
I know that's hard and I know it's annoying,
but that's just life and that's what we all do.
That's what I do, I mean, I'm responsible for myself.
I take full responsibility for the times that
I feel like crap and I, you know, was a downer
when people want to be happy and up.
But that's just real, so, let's keep it real together.
Okay, here is a journal topic.
And I forget who sent this to me.
Someone sent it to me on Twitter sent, like, four of these.
But this is the one that I chose.
And it says, "You can deny angels exist,
"convince yourself that they can't be real.
"But they show up anyways at strange places,
"at strange times, they speak in any character we
"can imagine, they'll shout through demons if they have to.
"Daring us, challenging us to fight."
So who are your angels this week?
That's a good question, huh?
Who's helping us out, who's shouting through the demons?
If you believe in God or not, an angel doesn't
have to be a religious thing, it can be a person,
it can be a dog, it can be a situation,
it can be anything.
So, who are your angels?
Sometimes it's good to think about the positive, isn't it?
I love you all.
I'll see you on Thursday, and I'm so sorry about today's
video, but you know, I'm human and shit happens.
Okay, see you then, bye.