One could say that integration
is the truest spiritual goal of all.
But in order for the universe
to become integrated,
as a fractal of the universe, we have to become integrated.
We have to become whole.
The way that we will manage this integration
is by loving ourselves completely.
What that means is that we have to pull close
and see the value in any aspects of ourselves
that we have pushed away.
And then of course, that practice extends
to what is external to us.
We must pull close and see the value
in those things externally that we have pushed away.
Disclaimer (pause to read):
Become Like A Child
For most of us in the world
this process that we go through
in order to "grow up"
is not simply a process that we go through
whereby we mature
and we just take on all of the positive aspects
of what it means to be an adult.
For most of us
there is some element in the growing up process
that entails the pushing away
of our child self.
And when we do this,
we aren't just gaining the positive attributes of adulthood,
we're losing all the positive attributes of childhood.
An essential part of integration
is to re-own your child self.
A crucial spiritual practice
is to become like a child.
Obviously, one of the most straightforward ways
to integrate the child self
is to do inner child work.
There are several methods for doing this,
but to learn my favorite methods,
you can watch two of my videos;
The first titled:
A Letter From Your Inner Child (Inner Child Work)
and the second titled:
Parts Work (What Is Parts Work And How To Do It)
And you can start doing the completion process.
To learn how to do this process you can pick up a copy of my book
that is quite literally titled:
The Completion Process
Alternatively, you can go to completionprocess.com
and select a practitioner to lead you through it.
Aside from this process of integration with the child self,
as I mentioned before,
one of the most powerful spiritual practices
that you can add to your toolbox,
is to become like a child.
When we do this,
we re-own and we start to express
those childlike qualities.
We restore ourselves to that
childlike sense of life itself
and of the world.
Therefore, in this video
I'm going to explain to you some very powerful ways
that you can do just that.
Become again, like a child.
#1.
Spend time around children.
Spend time playing with children.
This can take many different forms.
For example, you might just sit on a park bench
and watch children playing on the playground.
Let yourself become lost
in their way of being in the world.
You may even want to meditate
on the children that are playing there.
This can also take the form
of deliberately spending quality time with a child,
talking to them, asking them questions
and/or playing with them.
But when you do this,
this is very important,
you're going to join their world.
Most adults, when they interact with children
they try to bring the child into the adult life,
into the adult world,
into the adult way of seeing things.
And for this practice
you have to do the exact opposite.
Your aim is to join their world,
your aim is to join their way of seeing things.
so your goal, essentially, is to simply follow their lead.
#2. Be in the present moment.
One of those fabulous child-like qualities
is to be completely where they are.
Now, when you're completely where you are
and when you're completely in the present moment
the full impact of the now hits you.
The full taste of something,
the full smell of something,
the full way that something feels,
the wonder of how something looks.
Bring your attention to whatever is happening
in the moment
and fully take it in.
Really be there.
#3.
Play.
I think play is one of those things
that really defines child-like behavior.
Don't you think?
Now, play is something that is natural and intrinsic to us.
We don't need a reward in order to play.
Play is something that we have
this natural incentive to do.
But, so many of us when we grow up,
we shut this ability to play
right down.
Play is defined as
engagement in an activity for enjoyment and recreation
rather than for a serious practical purpose.
But it's here that we need to stop and think for a minute,
because in the definition of play
is the very dysfunction that we have in our adult perspectives,
it is the idea that play
is not synonymous with purpose.
It is the idea that there is no genuine deep purpose
for simply doing something
because it feels good to do it.
We grow up and wonder why we aren't happy
without realizing that it's because we don't take
the straight path to happiness
by prioritizing enjoyment.
Rather, we spend our lives beating around the bush
hoping that our happiness will come as the end result
of other priorities like keeping a reliable job
or reaching our goals.
Our need for play does not leave us
when we exit childhood.
Whenever that arbitrary point is.
Adults need play.
They need these activities or these time periods
where they're engaging in something just because it brings enjoyment.
The problem is, most of us reach adulthood
and have forgotten how to do this.
There is no right or wrong way to play.
It can take the form of a game of poker,
it could be playing a sport like volleyball,
it can take the form of a leisure activity
like taking a bath,
or it could be some kind of totally spontaneous action
like climbing a tree.
No matter what it is, the only criteria
that the activity or non-activity
must meet in order to be considered play,
is that you're doing it for one reason only:
to enjoy yourself.
Having fun isn't just about the big things.
You know?
Those fun things that are very big, like skydiving.
It's also about the small things
like giving yourself permission to take a leisurely walk along a beach,
go on a date,
or even get totally wet
instead of covering up when it rains one day.
Another thing you're gonna have to do in alignment with this
is that you're gonna have to start to recognize
your play impulse.
Children naturally are born with this play impulse
and then throughout the course of our life
we tune it out,
in the same way that many of us
tune out to our own emotions.
So, some of us need to learn to tune back into our emotions
and then some of us need to learn to tune back into
our own play impulse.
For example, what I mean by a play impulse
is that, let's say that you're walking on the beach
and suddenly, you get this spontaneous urge
to run into the surf
even though you're wearing normal clothes
and you don't have your swimsuit.
A sensible person,
who has trained themselves against their own play impulse,
will immediately start arguing with their play impulse.
They'll start to tell themselves a story
about why it's a bad idea.
"No no, then I'm gonna get all wet, then I'm gonna get my car all wet,
then I'm gonna have to do laundry".
Right? So they're essentially
opposing that impulse,
suppressing and denying and disowning it.
What's really sad
is that a person can do this to the degree
that they don't even have access to this play impulse, at all.
Even though it's still there,
it's something that they're just not attuned to.
Now, on the other hand
a person who really heeds their play impulse
in that very same scenario,
might actually just go get in the surf
even though they're wearing normal clothes.
When your play impulse comes up,
if you're trying to master this practice of becoming like a child,
You have to let yourself act on the impulse to play.
Let yourself climb that tree
if you suddenly get the impulse to climb it,
let yourself buy the finger paints you pass at the grocery store aisle
and paint with them.
Give yourself permission to roll down a grassy hill in the park
even if you're wearing a skirt or a suit and tie,
sign up for scuba diving lessons
if you've always wanted to try it.
#4. Try new things
and experience old things
as if you're trying them for the very first time.
One of the most intoxicating things about children
is that they're experiencing everything for the very first time.
And one of the most intoxicating things about that
is that when we show a child something for the first time,
the way that they engage with it,
it's almost like we are re-experiencing it
for the very first time.
When this happens,
you'll notice that even those simple things we take for granted
like puddles, become things of wonder.
To put ourselves back in the state of wonder
we need to start to try new things.
I mean, literally anything.
And trying new things put you in the space of learning,
which keeps you young.
Literally anything you do
that is trying something new,
is gonna bring you closer to that state of being like a child.
It does not have to make sense,
just do it.
Never get stuck
in that rut,
should I call it,
of just doing the same thing over and over again.
Practicing the same skills over and over again,
being in the same places over and over again,
that is the way to literally
buck the current of expansion.
That's the way to make yourself age,
to decline and to die.
The next thing that you're gonna do
is to re-experience these things
that you have maybe experienced a million times before,
but as if it was the first time.
To do this you're gonna pretend
that you're like an outer space alien
that was suddenly given a body today,
or that you're walk in,
that suddenly has a body today,
and when you do this,
I don't care if you have eaten granola
a thousand times in your life before,
when you sit down and you put it in your mouth,
you're gonna do it with the mentality
that this is the very first time that you are doing it.
If you go on that walk,
you may have walked down that same road a hundred times,
you're gonna walk down that road this time
as if it's the very first time you've ever seen that road.
You know that childlike innocence
that we all love so much?
Experiencing life intentionally in this way that I am describing
is a very powerful way to restore your own innocence.
#5.
Be curious.
This means that you have to keep your mind active
instead of letting it be passive.
For this practice, throw away whatever knowing
that you think you have
including the idea of boredom.
If you find something boring,
you are not looking deep or close enough at it
start from a place of nothing is boring.
Start from a place of not knowing.
Let go of all preconceived ideas,
keep an open mind
and an attitude of wanting to learn instead of judge
and also connect to the fun in learning.
Ask questions.
We all know this about a child, right?
You cannot ask too many questions.
Question everything.
Make it a habit to spend time in different worlds.
What do I mean by these different worlds?
A specific movie creates a different world for you, right?
A specific culture is its own world,
a specific field of study or interest
is its own world.
People who play a sport,
that's a world right?
and we have this tendency in our adult life
to get stuck in very specific worlds,
so much so that even when we travel
it's like we don't even break outside that world,
we just go to the same world but in a different location.
When you are practicing becoming like a child again,
you're gonna have to become a traveler.
And by the way,
in order to become awakened at all
you're gonna have to become a traveler of worlds.
But, what I mean by worlds,
is you're gonna have to insert yourself
in these different perceptual realities.
Even if that means reading something you would never normally read
or talking to someone from a totally different walk of life,
seek out different worlds.
Do something or engage with something
totally out of the norm,
search for the positive in anything you come across
and study everything you come across.
#6. Be radically honest.
Again, one of the most amazing things about children
is there really is this alignment
with the inside and the outside.
Children are radically honest.
To the point that a lot of the adults around them are like: "SHHHHHHH".
But if we're gonna practice becoming like a child again,
we need to restore ourselves to the sense of honesty.
Whenever you encounter a situation
where you are tempted to be strategic,
be honest, instead.
Even if all you feel like you're capable of at this moment,
is being totally brutally and radically honest
by writing your truth in a journal.
You need to re-establish that connection
between your awareness
and that very powerful personal truth
that's very immediate.
Adults feel the pressure to behave in ways
that are counter to their own truth.
They say they aren't hungry when they are,
they act like they're fine alone when they're not,
they sit in positions their body doesn't want to be in.
I want you to practice this congruence
between your personal truth
and the rest of you.
#7.
You have to let other people help you.
And part of this means you have to reconnect to your needs.
Children are in a position
where they really can't get on in the world
without letting other people help them.
But oftentimes, because of this they're more successful.
When we grow into adults
we actually shortcut our success
by being unwilling to get help.
When we could succeed much faster by identifying
the people who are better at certain things than we are
and getting them to help us.
Also, as a child,
a child powerfully understands what they need
and they also see their needs
as something that is essential to their life experience.
That's why when a child's thirsty,
they don't just carry on as if everything's fine,
usually, there's a huge meltdown
as if to say "No no no no no, that's a need I have".
Start to become aware of and meet these needs
including asking other people to help you with these needs.
Needing others does not mean anything negative about a child.
It also doesn't mean anything negative about you.
#8. Identify those qualities
that you specifically want to emulate
about children,
and emulate them.
In order to do this effectively,
you might have to go watch how children do something.
For example,
let's say that one of the qualities that you've identified in children
that you want to re-own in yourself,
you want to awaken,
is creativity.
You have to go see how a child creates
and then emulate that.
By watching how they create,
you might then get messy,
you might assume you'd be good at something,
and find out whether you're good or not
by trying it,
you might do something hands-on,
you might let your imagination run free
uninhibited by ideas of what's possible
and not possible,
you might stop being inhibited
by what other people think of what you create
and you might create with things and in ways
that could be considered quite wacky.
No matter what practice you select,
"to become like a child"
you must remember this:
a child does not act serious about these things.
So, if you find yourself becoming serious
and becoming super disciplined
about any one of these practices,
you're not practicing becoming like a child,
so, drop them.
We have the tendency to minimize
the power of the child.
We love to think that the child represents
what we will grow out of in the process of personal progression.
But today, I have a little secret for you:
The inner child is in fact,
the disguise for the higher self.
This is the reason why so many awakened beings
have so many childlike qualities.
In fact, it can be said
that the more awakened one becomes,
the more they become once again, like a child.
Albeit, a very wise one.
And so it's only appropriate that I end this episode
with a fabulous quote from Paula Poundstone:
"Adults are always asking children
what they wanna be when they grow up,
because they're looking for ideas".
Have a good week.
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I wanna thank you personally,
for the bravery that you have
to step into awareness.
I'll see you in the next video.
Subtitles by Tanya Duarte @tanyaduarte / tanyaduarte.com