- [Instructor] Hey, Psych2goers, welcome back.
Are you worried that you'll live a life full of regrets
when you're older?
Most adults have had at least one experience, good or bad
where they wish they could go back
and do things a little differently.
Well, to help you learn from their experiences,
here are the top 10 regrets of life
by those who are in their old age.
Number one, leaping into a relationship too fast.
One common regret shared by many elderly people
is jumping into relationships too fast.
This is especially about relationships with people
who have vastly different personalities than them.
Many elderly folks have noted that while people
of opposite personalities bring enjoyment to their lives,
it doesn't always bode well as a long lasting commitment.
According to Peter Bustin and Stephen T. Ellman
of Cornell University,
most people actually prefer having a partner
that shares similar characteristics to them.
So while it can be fun for a short while,
in the long run, you're more likely to gravitate
towards people who are similar to you.
Number two, drifting apart from family or friends.
Do you know a family member who's estranged their child?
Oftentimes these parents end up carrying a sense of shame,
stress and feelings of isolation once they're older.
Even if it happened many years ago,
estrangement can still have an effect on both members today,
sometimes even impacting their mental wellbeing
in the long run.
For these relationships, reconciliation and forgiveness
may help resolve the issue
and overcome the negative feelings
they may have for each other.
But it only works if both parties reciprocate it.
Number three, not expressing your emotions.
Like many, you may think your biggest regret
will be a failed career path
or a lack of financial foresight.
However, in actuality, most people's biggest regrets
tend to fall in a more emotional nature,
such as not being present with their family.
Many elderly find that it may be too late
to show their genuine feelings of love and affection,
especially when the opportunity has already the passed.
Number four, worrying too much about the past.
Do other people say that you're always stuck in the past?
You might believe that getting older
automatically means moving on from everything in the past,
but it's not always the case.
As long as you spend all your time worrying and ruminating
over past mistakes and missed opportunities,
you'll always find yourself stuck and unable to move on.
However, this does not mean that you stop talking
about the past altogether.
According to the American Psychological Association,
reminiscing and communicating about positive events
from the past can actually improve
an elderly person's psychological wellbeing.
So while it's good to talk about the good old days
with your friends and family,
it's equally important to look at the present
and think of the future.
Number five, being untruthful far too long.
Being untruthful doesn't only mean lying to other people,
you may also lie to yourself as well.
Justifying your thoughts and beliefs
in something that at your core,
doesn't reflect your values or innermost state at all.
Similarly, you may suppress your own wants and needs
for externally motivated reasons.
This can go on for ages without even realizing it.
And even if you do,
it may be too late for you to make an impactful difference.
Number six, not taking care of your body.
Are you in your twenties to thirties?
This is usually the age where you feel invincible
in at least physically,
however, your body will naturally slow down after that time
if it's not cared for.
Spending your youth without keeping a good diet,
doing exercise and having enough sleep
can accelerate this aging process.
Older adults who don't sleep well, for instance,
are more likely to suffer from mental health issues
like depression and develop problems
with attention and memory.
Number seven, not exploring your career.
Have you ever thought about opening up a business
after school, but shrugged it aside for fleeting pleasures?
Or perhaps your career path was so busy and well-paying
that you justified staying,
even when it meant not spending any time
with your family and friends
or being able to explore the things you're passionate about?
Not exploring your career options,
whether it's because of a high payout
or a lack of intrinsic self-worth,
may end up leaving you wondering what if, when you're older.
Number eight, not traveling.
Do you get to travel often?
Many of them elderly often regret not traveling
and seeing the world.
They may have lacked the resources
and the opportunity when they were younger
and lack the energy when they're older.
Apart from being able to see the world,
traveling also has many benefits for your mental health,
such as improving your mental power,
helping you stay calm and widening your perspectives.
Number nine, working too hard.
How much time do you spend working?
Overworking the most universal regrets
for people later in life.
According to his book, Being The Father I Never Had,
highly influential people like Barack Obama,
had expressed regret
for not being there for his little girls due to work.
The common pattern these people share is the lack of time
they gave towards the people they cared about,
like their family and friends.
And number 10, not living your true self.
Do you hide parts of yourself to fit in with people?
If so, you may find that the more successful you are
attempt in masking yourself is,
the more lonely and isolated you end up feeling.
Changing who you are and pretending to be someone else
to please other people can be a source of regret
later in life.
If you recognize this tendency in yourself,
you may wanna reflect on why you feel the need to do it
and how you can take the steps
to start living your true self.
Do you have any regrets?
Let us know in the comments below.
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The references in studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
Thanks so much for watching and we'll see you next time.