- Hello, I'm Miles Bonsignore,
internet personality, podcast impresario,
and multi-hyphenate extraordinaire.
Singing as well.
We make a lot of videos here at Second Try,
and most of them see the light of day.
But sometimes, sometimes a video is so dark,
so dangerous, so illegal
that it doesn't see the internet.
Until now, that's right folks,
with a magnifying glass in one hand
and a mirror holding up our own reflection in the other,
I'm leading you through some of the most failed projects
that we've ever created.
This is a resurrection.
This is a celebration.
This is "Well We Tried".
(upbeat music)
- [Narrator] 2021, vaccination summer.
- It was a different time, okay.
You know, masks were coming off, friends were reuniting,
hope was coming back.
And I frankly wanted to ride that wave
and profit off of it.
- [Narrator] This is Jonathan Kirk,
Assistant Production Coordinator for Second Try
and aspiring film auteur.
Jonathan had made content for the Try Guys Patreon before.
Silly, short videos with simple concepts,
but for vaccination summer,
Jonathan had bigger plans.
He wanted to adapt a novel.
- Books change people's lives, okay.
You know for some people, it's the Bible.
for other people it's "The Fault in Our Stars".
For some people, myself included.
It's "The Careful Grace of a Spiral Fracture,"
by Maxwell Griffin Chatsworth.
- [Narrator] Published in 1999 to Rave Reviews,
"The Careful Grace of a Spiral Fracture,"
tells the convoluted story of a man struggling
to overcome his fear of death
in a hyper-capitalistic world.
The author, Maxwell Griffin Chatsworth,
died tragically from complications of scurvy in 2004.
Since then these 1,300 pages
have inspired a rabid cult following
amongst a certain demographic.
- Yeah, I read it in college
and it had some insights on modern life
that were kind of cool,
but at the end of the day it's really just something
pretentious dudes read to feel smart.
- [Interviewer] Would you say Jonathan's pretentious?
- Well.
- You could pause it.
It's a bit rococo, wouldn't you say?
- What?
- [Interviewer] How do you react
when people say you are pretentious?
- Well, there's this great quote
by Bowtrol Art which goes,
one second.
- I think it's Audrey
Maybe it's Pheucall.
You know, I think it's Pheucall.
But what he said was basically like
when you come across a, fuck.
- [Interviewer] So Alex, how did he pitch
the project to you?
- Well, he was pretty vague.
He said that he wanted to do a Patreon video
and he could do it in two days
and the guys were all out of town,
so I figured why not,
what's the worst that could happen?
- [Narrator] With the studio green light,
Jonathan got to work immediately.
And when it came to casting the lead role,
he knew exactly who he wanted.
- Hi, I'm Ronald Duquesne and I'm 2'7"
and then I'm auditioning for the role of David.
- [Narrator] Ronald Duquesne is the head of human resources
for Second Try,
but that's not what originally brought him to Los Angeles.
- Well, originally I wanted to act in soaps, soap operas,
but then eventually I realized that human relations
is just a soap opera in real life.
Whether you're settling a feud between co-workers
or talking to federal investigators,
your acting skills are always
being put to the test, so.
- [Man] You threw away my plants?
- No.
Typical.
Lying, oh, you said you were done with them.
- Ronald Duquesne and I don't say this lightly,
is one of the best actors of his
or frankly any generation.
- [Man] Ah.
- What's wrong?
- [Man] I'm so angry right now.
- Why are you angry?
- [Man] I'm angry because you made me angry.
- Me?
What did I do?
- Guy makes Joaquin Phoenix look like Hayden Christensen.
And look, I've hung out with Joaquin,
got a lot of love for him.
But like, compared to Ronald, come on.
- When I close my eyes,
it's like the world goes black
and I can't see anything anymore.
I can't see anything anymore.
- Ronald's audition, I mean, Jesus Christ,
not a dry eye in the house.
I was bawling, weeping, and I don't ever cry.
You know, like, look,
I've been in the room with Christian Bale, okay.
I mean, it wasn't on set,
but I've been in a room with him
and my eyes were dry.
- You should have asked.
You should have asked me before you threw away my plants.
I am so, so angry David.
- [Narrator] With the rest of the cast locked in
and the Try Guys themselves out of California for the week,
it was time to start filming.
- [Man] There's nothing I can do?
- There's nothing, nothing at all, it's hopeless.
(beep)
- [Johnathan] And, action.
- When God destroyed the world with rain, Diane,
do you think, he was weeping?
- [Johnathan] Okay, okay that's great.
Let's keep it rolling.
Just a little faster Ronald, okay.
- Sure. - cool
- A little faster?
- [Johnathan] Yeah a little faster.
- Okay.
- [Johnathan] And, action.
- When God destroyed the world with rain, Diane.
Do you think he was weeping?
- [Johnathan] Okay, still a little faster.
- Unbelievable.
- [Johnathan] Okay, just a little faster.
- Fucking ridiculous
Are you ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
- [Johnathan] Okay.
Wait for my action okay.
Ready and action.
- When God destroyed the world with rain, Diane,
do you think he was weeping?
What, did we get it?
- [Narrator] Tension soon arose between Jonathan
and his star.
- Okay, quiet on set.
And, action.
- You have been acting so solipsistically lately David.
- I concur, you've been acting extremely,
extremely solipsistically.
- Oh!
Oh!
How can we think about anyone beyond ourselves
and we ourselves are the only thing
that feels real.
- Okay, let's keep it rolling.
We'll go again.
- Great work everybody.
- Great, yeah, that was really good stuff.
And Will, you felt a little,
I don't wanna say lethargic,
but like a little lethargic on the extremelys and like.
- No, no, no, no we'll meet up after.
- [Johnathan] Are you, Ronald.
- We'll meet up after.
I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go.
- What the fuck?
- It was an emergency.
- It was an emergency?
What was the emergency?
- My cat got out.
- Your cat got out?
- Yeah.
- [Johnathan] Is your cat okay?
- Yeah he's fine.
He got out like into the kitchen.
He was in the living room
and this girl I'm seeing was watching him.
- Okay, okay, I don't, I don't.
Let's just fucking, let's go again.
Let's go again and Ronald faster please.
- Yeah.
A Nissan Versa?
In the book they drive a BMW.
- Well, we don't have a BMW, we have a Versa.
- Who drives a piece of shit like this?
- I do, this is my car.
- Oh is it your car?
- Yeah.
- Oh is it your little car,
you go vroom vroom in it little boy?
- Hey, stop, stop filming.
Get, get the fuck.
Jesus, fuck.
Stop filming!
- It's the terms and conditions.
It's the disembodied voice telling you to stay on the line
for a quick survey.
It's the gift shop at the grand canyon.
It's, oh.
- Everybody was fine, thank God.
But after the car crash
things went downhill pretty quickly.
- The second one is, "It's a Wonderful Life".
Also haven't seen it,
but I also heard, you know,
that it's like really good,
it's a really good Easter movie.
Jack, where is he?
- Um, he's.
- Well?
- He's in the podcast studio.
- Okay, fuck this.
- Oh no.
- fuck this.
Jesus Christ.
Ronald!
- He's doing a calling show right now.
- Whatever, I don't care, I don't care.
Jesus Christ.
- I didn't expect it to. - What the fuck?
- I'm recording an episode, get outta here.
- No, you get outta here.
You get out here right now
and you start doing what you contractually said
that you were going to
before I fucking sue your ass.
- Okay, let's take a walk. - You're gonna sue me?
let's take a walk
- Go watch "The Lighthouse" you pretentious prick.
- [Man] Do you have a temper?
- Do I have a temper?
Maybe, okay?
Maybe I do, but if I do,
it's because I care.
Okay, it's because I care.
I don't have a fucking temper.
Do we have a fucking problem?
- Yeah, I think we do have a fucking problem
now that I mention it.
- Yeah, yeah, what is it?
What's your fucking problem, Ronald?
- I think somebody forgot how to fucking direct.
And you're being disrespectful.
- Oh, you think someone forgot how to direct?
- That's right.
- Well, I think someone forgot how to act.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
- I used to be Joey King in "Kissing Booth".
- I don't know who that is. - The replaced me in VO.
- [Johnathan] I don't care.
- They replaced me as they recut the film.
- Who, fucking, who.
Let me ask you a question.
When they asked you to do it faster on that set
did you actually do it faster?
- Come here, let me tell you a secret.
- No, what, What? - No, no, no.
I don't wanna get the crew involved.
- Oh, you don't wanna get the crew involved?
Well, the crew's fucking involved all right.
- Let me tell you a secret. - No, no.
Say it for everyone.
- Let me tell you a secret. - Say it for everyone
- Come on, come on.
- What's up? What's up? - Come here
- You're the biggest fucking loser I ever met.
- Oh really?
- You're the biggest joke.
- Wow you figured that out all by ourself?
- You're the biggest joke in Hollywood.
- Wow, you thought of that all by yourself?
Look at the big brain on Ronald.
- Oh, look at Jonathan, he's freaking out.
- Yeah, I am freaking out.
I'm fucking freaking out.
- Okay, okay.
This is enough.
I'm shutting it down.
We're done, I'm sorry, Jonathan.
I know this is your passion project, but it's done.
We're not doing it anymore.
- Look what you did, bozo.
- What, you're shutting it down?
- I'm sorry, I know you put your whole heart
and soul into this
and you put so much work into it, but it's done.
This is, this is not fun anymore.
It's supposed to be a fun project for the whole team.
- [Ronald] I agree.
- This isn't fun.
- 100%. - This isn't good for anyone,
it's toxic. - Definitely.
- Absolutely Alex, you're right.
Look, see what happened?
- It's fucking his fault.
- Oh, it's my fault?
- Yeah, it's your fucking fault.
- It is your fault, Ronald.
- Alex, please.
- [Alex] You're the toxic one.
- No, come on.
- [Narrator] After only two hours of shooting,
Jonathan Kirk's adaptation
of "The Careful Grace of a Spiral Fracture" was canceled.
What goes through your head
when you look back on this project?
- Regret, obviously.
And shame, you know, I let my ego get the best of me.
- [Narrator] Well, I have something for you.
As you know, the footage you were able to shoot
was mostly destroyed when the hard drives got soaked
with what we believe was Sprite Zero.
- Yeah, also that was a blow.
- [Narrator] Absolutely, but I had Michelle
take another look at those drives,
now that they've had a chance to dry,
and she was actually able to cut together a scene.
- Seriously?
- David, when you said that to me
it was like you were putting daggers into my heart.
- I would never put daggers into your heart Diane.
- Then why, why did you say that?
- I was afraid.
- Afraid of what?
- Afraid of love!
Oh, afraid of life.
Afraid of putting daggers into your heart, Diane.
Can you ever forgive?
Can you let me pull the daggers out of your heart
and return them to the shield
from which they shall never be pulled again.
- I just don't, I just don't know, David.
I shall have to think about it, goodbye.
- Diane!
Diane!
No!
- He's so goddamn good.
- [Narrator] What would you say to Ronald
if he was here right now?
- I'd tell him I was sorry for everything, you know?
And I would tell him that
if he ever wanted to work together again,
then I would do anything to make that happen.
- [Narrator] Well, I've got another surprise for you.
- Hey Jonathan.
- Hey Ronald.
- Did you mean what you said just now?
- Every word.
- Well, I'm sorry too.
And if you ever want to make something together again,
just let me know pal.
- You old son of a gun, bring it in.
- Get over here.
- Let's never fight again, okay.
- I've missed you.
Let's get working on the next one.
- [Narrator] Next time on, "Well We Tried".
(tense music)
- I'm Jack McGill,
and this is Jack McGill's Tap City.
(footsteps thudding)
(upbeat music)