>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME PETE HOLMES.
I WAS JUST SAYING TO WILL ARNETT WHEN HE WAS OUT HERE THAT HE'S
TALLER THAN I THOUGHT.
AND I USUALLY STAY ON THE STEPS FOR THE TALL GUY.
SO LOOK HIM IN THE EYE, BECAUSE IT'S A POWER PLAY.
AND I KNOW HOW TALL YOU ARE.
AN I FORGOT TO STAY ON THE STEP.
>> YEAH.
I LOOK DOWN ON WILL ARNETT.
I'M 6 FOOT 6.
I WOULD HELP HIM RETRIEVE A FRISBEE FROM A TREE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU PLAY BALL, BASKETBALL?
>> NO, I DIDN'T.
>> Stephen: THEY LET YOU NOT PLAY BASKETBALL AT 6, 6.
>> THIS IS TRUE, THE COACH IN HIGH SCHOOL, LEXINGTON HIGH
WOULD COME UP TO ME AND GO WHY!
JUST LIKE THAT IN THE HALLWAY.
AND I GO-- .
>> Stephen: BECAUSE I'M A NERD.
>> I ALWAYS SLEPT WITH HIS WIFE BUT THAT'S NOT RELATED.
>> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD.
WELL, I HEAR YOU HAVE GOOD NEWS.
SPEAKING OF VALENTINE'S DAY, BECAUSE IT IS NEXT WEEK, WE HAVE
A VERY ROMANTIC EVENT RECENTLY, YOU JUST GOT ENGAGED,
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> I DID.
PLUS (APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THIS PHOTOGRAPH, MAY I SHOW
THIS.
>> YOU MAY SHOW THAT.
>> Stephen: LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH.
TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE.
>> THAT IS A TWO DIMENSIONAL REPRESENTATION OF A REAL-LIFE
EVENT.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> IN FULL COLOR.
>> Stephen: OKAY, GREAT.
>> TAKEN WITH AN I TELEPHONE MADE BY THE APPLE CORPORATION.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I GOT ENGAGED BECAUSE I'M NOT MESSING AROUND N A HOT AIR
PROPELLED BALLOON.
YOU CAN SEE-- .
>> Stephen: REALLY, THIS IS LIGHTER THAN AIR TRAVEL, I HEAR
IT'S COMING BACK.
>> HEAT YUN LIFTS-- ZEPLINS, DERIDGABLES AND HOT AIR BALLOONS
ARE THE FUTURE.
>> ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT INTO THE HOT AIR BALLOON.
>> THAT IS SWEET LADY VALERIE.
>> Stephen: YOUR A FINANCE.
>> I DON'T LIKE SAYING IT.
DO YOU WANT TO MEET MY FIANCE, I THINK LIKE A JAGUAR SHOULD COME
OUT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CALL HER.
>> THIS IS MY LADY.
>> I JUST LIKE TO GET HER-- .
>> Stephen: OH, HOW ABOUT-- THAT MAKES YOU SOUND
LIKE HER PIMP.
LET'S GET MY LADIES OUT HERE.
>> I WOULD BE LIKE THIS IS MY LOVER.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WONDERFULLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
MOM, DAD, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET MY LOVER.
>> IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU SAY THAT I THINK IT'S ALWAYS WEIRD WHEN
YOU INTRODUCE YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO YOUR PARENTS BECAUSE YOU ARE
LIKE HEY, THIS IS WHAT I AM INTO.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Stephen: SO WE GOT IN A HOT AIR BALLOON AND I DO RECOMMEND
IT FOR ANY FELLAS THINK BEING IT.
BUT THERE IS A MAN IN THE BASKET WITH YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
>> I DID NOT THINK OF THIS.
THERE HAS TO BE A MANLY-- .
>> Stephen: GIVE ME THE CONTROLS, THE NOZZLE, THIS IS
UP, THIS IS DOWN, AND I CUT THE SAND BAGS AND WE GO.
>> IT'S EVEN EASIER, THIS IS UP, THERE IS NO DOWN, GOD SPEED.
WHY DOES THERE NEED TO BE A LICENSED TECHNICIAN FOR THIS
CLOWN EVENT.
>> Stephen: THE GUY IS IN IT.
>> HE'S IN IT AND HE'S RIGHT HERE.
AND IS' SOME GUY I HAVE NEVER MET.
>> Stephen: HE IS TAKING THE PHOTO THOUGH, RIGHT?
>> HEY, STEPHEN, PROPOSE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
>> Stephen: DOES SHE KNOW?
>> SHE'S GOT TO KNOW.
SHE KNEW.
>> Stephen: SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO KNOW.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU'RE DATING FOR AWHILE AND YOU'RE LIKE, I HAVE
AN IDEA.
LET'S, FOR NO REASON LET'S GET IN THIS AIRBORNEE BASKET.
SHE KNEW.
I DIDN'T-- I DIDN'T GET ENGAGED TO NO DUMBEE.
-- DUMBY.
>> Stephen: BUT YOU TELL THE GUY, RIGHT, IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
SO.
>> HE KNEW.
>> Stephen: GET US TO A GOOD PLACE.
>> AND HE WAS GREAT.
AND WE WERE GOING ZERO.
HE TOLD US.
>> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, LIKE YOU'RE BOY ANT.
>> THAT'S IT, GOING ZERO.
AND I GOT NERVOUS CUZ THERE'S A MAN'S MAN THERE.
>> Stephen: WHY IS HE MORE MANLY THAN YOU, BECAUSE HE HAS A
HOT AIR BALLOON?
YOU KNOW, HE'S A CIRCUS GUY, HE'S A MAN'S MAN.
SO HE IS MORE MANLY THAN YOU ARE.
>> A STRANGER, LET'S SAY A STRANGER STANDING THERE, AND I
GOT NERVOUS.
I WAS GOING SAY ALL THESE FLOWERY THINGS BUT THERE IS A
MAN IN A CARHART WORK JACKET THAT'S GOT SOME STUFF ON IT AND
I FEEL JUDGED.
SO I JUST GO GO, I WOULD BE HONORED TO CALL YOU MY WIFE.
AND I DIDN'T, STEPHEN, I DIDN'T SAY WILL YOU MARRY ME, SO IT'S
LIKE PLAYING TENNIS, I HIT THE BALL IN HER COURT AND SHE WAS
JUST LIKE.
>> YES?
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY YOU MUST ANSWER IN THE FORM OF A
QUESTION.
>> I JEOPARDIED HER.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YOU DID.
>> I TREBECED HER TO MARRY ME.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF PEOPLE MUST HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE.
>> HE SAID IMMEDIATELY AFTER SHE SAID YES TO MY NONQUESTION, VERY
SWEET GIRL, YES, AND THEN THE GUY IS GOING, TWO CELEBRATORY
ARE TOOTS WITH THE FLAME.
JUST LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: CAN YOU TELL IT'S CELEBRATORY OR DO YOU LIKE OH
WE'RE LOSING BOY ANSI?
>> THERE WERE SOME POWER LINES GETTING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE.
BUT HE WAS CELEBRATING.
I COULD TELL.
AND THEN NO PAUSE, HE JUST GOES YOU KNOW, A LOT OF GIRLS SAY NO
UP HERE.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Stephen: AND THEN YOU IS JUST HURL YOURSELF OUT, I WILL
ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
WELL, LOVELY TO MEET YOU.
>> STEPHEN, A PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: CRASHING PREMIERS NEXT SUNDAY ON HBO.
PETE HOLMES, EVERYBODY 6789.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH PAUL MECURIO.