Not all comic book characters are created equally.
I mean, if they were all the likes of Charles Xavier or the Hulk or hey, even Superman,
battles in the panels would seem to lack a certain amount of high stakes.
One of the reasons why we love Marvel comics is that their stories include a wide variety
of diverse and complex superheroes, ones with flaws and weaknesses both on and off the battle
field.
But sometimes, there’s the occasional character that leaves us wondering how on Earth they’d
be able to hold their own in a battle, especially if those characters were ever to get a big
screen or television adaptation in the MCU.
So today, we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Marvel Characters who are too
weak for the mcu.
We’ve got a combination of both superheroes and villains on this list, so with that in
mind, let’s get to it!
10 Dazzler Before we dive into this number, for context,
Dazzler IS joining the MCU thanks to her new upcoming animated show with Tigra, so keep
in mind that this isn’t a point describing why she’ll never get adapted.
Cause she is!
And hopefully we’ll get to see some solid character development that sheds some of the
negative connotations she’s acquired in the past from her history in the comics.
So back in 1978, Marvel comics collaborated with Casablanca Records in order to create
a character called The Disco Queen; a superhero who was a singer who could act as a cross
promotion.
This included a whole feature film that never took off after Casablanca left the project
due to financial reasons.
Disco Queen’s name was eventually changed to Dazzler, and the film was cancelled when
Bo Derek, who the character was modeled after, had her husband John Derek rejected by the
studio producing the film as the director of the film.
Anywho, Dazzler over the years has often been considered a bit of a joke, since her abilities
consist of being a trained singer, actress, dancer and highly accomplished roller skater.
She can also convert sound into light beam of various forms and intensity, which is her
saving grace.
But often, she’s considered a character who isn’t capable of doing much.
9 Anarchist Brace yourself friends, there’s going to
be a few characters on this list from the X-Statix team.
For context, X-Statix, which briefly operated under the name X-Force, was a team of mutants
put together by billionaire Spike Freeman, a major dick who used to be a superhero called
the Arm.
He decided to form the first ‘celebrity’ group of superheroes who died when an attack
helicopter opened fire during one of their missions at a television studio to rescue
a boy band called Boyz R Us – a scheme that Spike Freeman had orchestrated, but went sour.
Anywho, Anarchist was one of the only two members to have survived that mission.
His abilities include acidic sweat, corrosive blasts and adhesive generation – essentially,
he secretes acid like sweat from pores in his body, and he could metabolize this acid
into projectiles, which he shot from his hands.
He also suffered from OCD, which made him obsessed with being clean and constantly washing
his hands.
8 Hindsight Hindsight’s whole schtick is that he analyzes
past events.
He doesn’t have any powers – instead, he’s an expert strategist, a computer whiz,
and is really into trivia and video games.
Previously a member of the New Warriors, he was their self-proclaimed “cyber cowboy”,
and briefly operated under the name “hindsight lad”.
Despite the team’s initial hesitations, Hindsight proved to be useful, having rescued
the team twice via his strategic planning abilities.
During Civil War he took a turn for the worse though.
Having retired from being a superhero, he decided to meddle with the New Warriors, outing
their secret identities as part of a plot to disband them.
In addition to that, he’s often portrayed as super obnoxious, so you can see why Marvel
Studios would opt out of including him in any future adaptations.
7 Paste Pot Pete Paste Pot Pete aka Peter Petruski is often
considered one of the sillier villains in the Marvel universe.
His origin story is that he was a research scientist in New York City who patented a
multi polymer adhesive that made him rich.
But instead of continuing his business and financial success, for whatever reason, he
felt that turning to a life of crime was more lucrative.
He built himself a paste gun and donned a silly costume, and somehow managed to evade
the Fantastic Four.
Over the years, he would change up his costume, and try to re-invent himself as the Trapster
in order to seem more menacing, but he never really lived down his previous moniker.
6 Ruby Thursday Ruby Thursday, aka Thursday Rubinstein, is
perhaps one of the oddest villains to ever debut in the Marvel universe.
She’s essentially a provocative female body with an orb for a head, which can be broken
down into a whole misogynistic subtext of its own, but that’s not where we’re going
with this number today.
So that orb for a head of hers – it’s a mass of organic circuitry made up of a red
malleable plastic that can mimic all of the functions of a regular human head.
It also has tentacles that can shoot out of it, and can form other shapes.
She’s even proven to give herself a regular human head on occasion.
And her head can be removed from her body, explode and reform.
All in all, it’s weird as hell.
That being said, the character is actually highly intelligent, and is skilled is physics
and computer technology, having been an accomplished engineer.
She would go on to join The Headmen, a group of minor super villains who all have weird
heads.
5 Doctor Bong Doctor Bong is a villain that doesn’t stand
a chance at being adapted into the MCU, unless it was as a nuisance criminal who shows up
and makes unnecessary trouble for a hero.
Considering he’s an arch foe of Howard the Ducks’, he may actually end up on the upcoming
Howard the Duck animated series on Disney’s streaming service, so who knows!
But regardless, Doctor Bong won’t be rubbing shoulders with Thanos or Loki or any of the
other villains who have made it up onto movie screens across the globe.
Doctor Bong is a character whose an expert at genetic engineering who made a bell shaped
helmet that, when struck, can do a variation of stuff, like create concussive blasts that
bend metal, or to teleport him to a different place.
He’s also seemingly always has a wacky plan up his sleeve, having once creating imperfect
clones of Captain America, Black Widow and Moon Knight all as a scheme to lure Deadpool
into teaming up with them and infiltrating the Secret Avengers.
4 Asbestos Lady Asbestos Lady aka Victoria Murdoch was very
much a product of the Golden and Silver age of comics.
Created at the end of the golden age in 1947, Murdoch had no specific powers beyond her
scientific intelligence – but what she did have was a fire proof costume that was made
out of asbestos – a material at the time that hadn’t been proven to be a health threatening
substance.
Instead, this made her fire proof, and she battled against the original Human Torch,
the android, back in the day.
Eventually though, the character would die of mesothelioma at the age of 45 – something
that happened off panel that was only mentioned in the All New Official Handbook of the Marvel
Universe in 2006.
It’s assumed she contracted the disease due to her excessive asbestos exposure.
3 U-Go Girl U Go Girl aka Edith Sawyer is that other character
from X-Statix to have survived the Boyz R Us mission tragedy.
She joined the team when she teleported to Hollywood and got the attention of the team’s
leader, Zeitgeist.
So what can she do?
Edie has the ability to teleport, with seemingly no limits.
But here’s the catch – after she teleports, it exhausts her excessively, causing her to
fall asleep.
The longer the distance she teleports, the more rest is required.
She’s tried multiple things to combat this, including caffeine and an inhaler with a stimulant,
although the latter affected her precision in where she ended up when teleporting.
She would later die in X-Force 128, sacrificing herself after being mortally injured so that
her two other teammates, Anarchist and Mister Sensitive, could escape from a mission in
outer space.
2 Zeitgeist Zeitgeist is a character that, if he were
to appear in the MCU, likely wouldn’t get a role in one of the bigger feature films,
but might show up as either an easter egg or as some sort of comic relief plot line
in an MCU television show.
Zeitgeist is yet another member of the X-Statix group, and met his untimely end in X-Force
issue 116, the same issue he debuted.
But served him right – he had secretly planned the attack with Spike Freeman on Boyz R Us,
with the intention of the terrorists who were holding the band hostage to kill off all of
the members of X-Statix except Anarchist and himself.
During the attack, his lower torso was blown to shreds, leaving his intestines hanging
out as he died a painful death.
Anywho, let’s talk his powers – Zeitgeist had acidic vomit, which would burn through
10 cm of steel within 30 seconds.
He first discovered his powers during a drunken makeout session with a girl who he vomited
on, resulting in her receiving severe burns to her face.
1 Bird Brain Poor Bird Brain.
He’s an odd fellow, creating by awful circumstances.
And aside from looking the way he does, all he can do is fly.
So back in 1987’s New Mutants issue 56, Bird Brain was introduced as a character created
by insane geneticist Ani-Mator who would combine human beings with animals, conducting cruel
experiments on them.
Bird Brain managed to escape, and the New Mutants attempted to acclimate him into society,
which proved to be problematic due to his animal instincts.
He also has trouble communicating with anyone except Cypher due to the mutants language
powers, to whom he reveals that he was trained with food by Ani-Mator starving him and using
food as a reward.
Bird Brain would travel with the New Mutants to Ani-Mator’s island and help free the
other individuals he experimented on.
Once Ani-Mator is banished to another dimension, bird Brain decides to stay on the island with
the other Ani-Mates – the name for the creatures created by Ani-Mator.
There we have it friends!
What other characters from the comics do you think are ‘too weak’ to join the MCU?
Give us a shout in those comments below and let us know your thoughts!
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