- That should be in Times New Roman.
- Oh, it is, I guess you don't know how to read Times-
- Hey guys, guess who made an OnlyFans last night.
- Oh, good for you cool.
- Yeah it's awesome.
I'm not even really charging anything,
I'm just doing it kind of for myself.
You know, I just wanna celebrate my body
and things like that, you know,
it's time to feel good right?
- [Courtney] That's great.
- What, what, oh damn it, what the hell?
- Okay, Shane, what's going-
- It's my OnlyFans.
I have zero subscribers.
Why do people only like me for my brains and my personality
I just feel feel ugh disgusting.
God, it's the most disappointed I've ever been in my life.
Crap.
(loud footsteps)
- Guys I think Shayne needs our support right now.
I haven't seen him this excited about something
in like all the seven years I've known him.
- I mean, I really don't want to see him like that
but if it'll cheer him up, I'll subscribe to his OnlyFans.
- Me too, you know I've been looking
for another pasty beef cake to add to my OnlyFans roster.
- Hey guys, you won't believe it.
I just got three subscribers on my OnlyFans.
Isn't that great?
- Hey way to go big guy.
- [Jackie] Good for you.
- Ian would it be cool if I used your office
for stuff real quick.
- Oh, what why?
- [Shayne] I'll be right back.
- But no please.
- [Courtney] Oh, it's the hover run.
- [Shayne] Hey guys it's Shayne, thanks for subscribing.
If you really wanna make me feel good,
ask me to do some stuff,
I'm down to do anything you want me to
but first things first, here's my butt.
Here it is from the side,
and here's the inside.
- Whoa! - Okay.
- [Ian] All right this was a mistake.
We should not be enabling this.
- Jackie what are you doing?
- He said we had to request stuff
I'm just giving him what he wants,
we need to keep him happy right?
- [Shayne] So one of you requested some role play.
Here it is.
Hey, I heard you thumbs down'ed one of my YouTube videos.
That's super disappointing.
Let me show you where else you can put your thumbs down.
- Okay, ugh! Jackie!
- What I paid for it.
- Okay look, I, I don't wanna see this I'm unsubscribing.
- No, no, no. - No, no, no,
you saw how he was without subs
imagine how he was gonna be when he loses subs.
So what I'm just supposed to watch him
(beep) himself in my office all day, every day,
till the end of time?
I don't want to see that, I can't work like this,
No, I'm not gonna watch it.
He can tell if we watch.
- We have to
- Welcome to Try Not To Laugh My Balls Edition
AKA, try not to- - No!
How did he get into the sound stage?
- Sit on my stool, sit on my stool.
- Jackie, will you get a hold of yourself?
We have to stick together,
and end this once and for all.
- You're right I was wrong okay?
But you know, he's doing whatever we ask him,
so what if we just try to push him past his limit?
Like how far is he really willing to go?
- And then he wouldn't wanna do it anymore
but how far is too far for Shayne Topp?
- Oh, I got this, I'm into some (beep).
- Give me a minute to get this.
- [Shayne] Sorry about that,
I had to take care of some stuff.
What are you guys up to?
- Nothing. - Nothing.
- Hey, I was wondering if we could get dinner tonight,
that'd be nice and I could pay
since I'm somewhat of a successful small business owner.
We could maybe even probably get apps.
- Ooh. - Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
- You okay, Shane?
- I'm great.
I'll be right back.
- [Courtney] Okay.
- Hey can I borrow this lava lamp?
- What for?
- [Shayne] Yeah for sure, can I borrow it?
- Oh. - Yeah.
- Great okay, ooh that's good, oh, nice.
- He's perfect, he's perfect.
- Oh that's, that's brutal.
Okay see you guys in a second,
just gotta do business, business time.
- No, no, no, no, no. - No, no.
- No, no, no! No, no, no!
- No, I don't want to.
- We have to.
- [Shayne] Is this what you wanted, am I doing it right?
This feels good, yeah!
It feels so good.
- [Courtney] I can't.
- This unlocked something in me.
- [Shayne] Ow, ow, ow, ow.
(upbeat music)
- You're gonna want to refill this.
- I can do that, I'll take it, I've got it.
I've been looking for another tasty white kick.
- What?
- No! - No, no, no.
You saw how he had the pairs.
- I did see how ha ca pa pa.
- I'm sorry.
- [Ian] And I don't want to see him ha his pa anymore.
- I wanna see him ha his pa!