Ethan: Today, my friends, I have a very special surprise for you.
Pranks have taken a new form
Today we have the lovechild of Joey Salads and SoFloAntonio,
Had a.. Had a romantic affair and one of em' pooped this young man out
His name is... To Catch A Cheater
*intense music*
Now I don't know how to describe his channel, it's like Morey plus Jerry Springer
Jerry: You are NOT the father!
with much less production value
Jerry: You are NOT the father!
Much less credibility, if that's at all possible.
But let me, let me show you guys exactly what we're dealing with here
Luis: alright so, Kelly's been dating her boyfriend David for a while
Cameraman: On a side note, you're lookin buff, Luis, today
Luis: dude, that's why I like this shirt
Ethan:why the fuck did he leave that in? "you're looking buff dawg"
Cameraman: On a side note, you're lookin buff, Luis, today
Ethan: you could've edited that part out, it's not relevant at all
Hila: no he likes that.
Ethan: He's like, 'before we start shooting today, tell me I look buff,'
Hila: yeah.
Ethan: alright dawg, or you're fuckin' fired
By the way, Hila, when we shoot today, tell me that I look good, okay.
Tell me that I've lost weight
Hila: you look buff.
Ethan: Really, you think so? You just said that for no reason? Thank you, dude
Hila: He really looks like the son of Joey Salads and SoFlo
Ethan: I swear, that's not even a joke!
Like, in attitude, and in appearance
It looks like they fuckin' rubbed their dicks together,
and one of 'em, fucking pooped out a baby.
That's how gay relationships work, right?
Hila: Yeah.
Luis: How'd he do?
Woman: I think he did well.
Luis: ..alright
Luis:Yeah
What the fuck is with the editing?
Like, it doesn't even make sense, he doesn't even explain anything
All that's explained is 'Hey, dawg, you look buff,'
He's sitting in a room with a random girl, you don't know what's happening
There's 5.3 million views, can someone please explain the world to me?
LET ME EXPLAIN HIS VIDEOS,
Since he's doing such a shitty job.
He sits down in a room, with an actor,
who you're not supposed to think is an actor,
and he goes with a hidden camera,
and entices their spouse with a sexy... little enticing, sexy number
Hila: *laughs* Yeah.
Ethan: and then sees if they go for the bait.
Hila: and they do.
Ethan: They ALWAYSSS do.
Hila: That's so big?
Ethan: It's a printer...
Hila: is it big?
Ethan: It's actually really small for a printer.
Ethan: Okay so...
Hila: Oh my god.
Ethan: So... straight to prostitution.
For a fucking printer!
How desperate does your life get when you have to go fuck a random stranger for a printer?
This is how prostitutes barter for goods.
Hila: I just can't believe that people watch this.
Ethan: It's kids. It's the same thing..
We've always said this, time and time again,
If you ever encounter something on YouTube so stupid you can't explain it,
the answer, inevitably...
Hila: kids.
Ethan: Kids. It's kids. There's kids.
Hila: I know you always say that, but it's still hard.
Ethan: It's STILL HARD!
Hila: hard to believe.
Ethan: OHHHHHH NOOO!
By the way. Even if he was single, this bitch is crazy.
Yeah
Like, how many.... Like I know there's like a meme that guys are willing to fuck
and do whatever, and they're scoundrels or whatever
but let's be honest.
How many other people have you fucked for printers? It's SCARY.
Hila: fuck for printers *laughs*
But, like, that's what I'm saying!
Like she's fucking everyone on Craigslist, she's out there bartering for goods
Like, bitch, this isn't fucking 1600!
We have currency! For buying printers.
Hila: I don't... how do you even come up with this video idea?
Like, the guy, the creator
Ethan: From the twisted mind of, uh
Both: SoFloSaladino
Ethan: I can't imagine the possibilities of what's gonna happen in there!
When they go inside
Hila: I just can't believe what we're watching right now
Ethan: At a certain point, you need to stop being surprised on YouTube.
Hila: I know but... How?
Ethan: Well... Kids.
Ethan: and other people who aren't kids, who are just dumb.
Luis: They went inside, on the microphone they were asking what to do because she didnt know...
Luis: I mean... I don't know how bad that is to you.
Woman: Uhh... it's pretty bad, I don't think I wanna hear that.
Luis: This is how... it ends. Just so you know.
Hila: I got one question.
Ethan: Yeah?
Why didn't you propose like that, to me?
I got one question for you, Hila
Do my muscles look jacked?
Ethan: My proposal story to Hila is so bad, you don't wanna hear it.
*Hila laughs*
Ethan: Maybe someday, but not now.
So that, is just to give you some idea of what we're dealing with here.
Now, the main course,
Is truly much more bizarre than that
Uh..
This guy had it in his wonderful Salad, uh, SoFlo Salad mind,
That he should do a version with a 13 year old girl
It's truly one of the most bizarre videos on youtube.
Hila: Yeah.
Ethan: Hila, how are my muscles looking?
Hila: ...buff
I don't wanna have to say that to you. Just say it.
Here, I'm gonna cut this part out, now let's, before we play the video,
Tell me that my muscles look good.
Hila: You look buff.
Ethan: Do you mean it? Thank you dude, thanks for noticing
Thank you, Hila
Hila: That's how kids talk to each other
They ask, do you workout?
Ethan: Do you workout-
do you wanna fuck me?
Hila: Do you like my dress?
Ethan: Do you wanna fuck me?
I was gonna wear a shorter dress, but my stupid slut asshole mom
Wouldn't let me fuckin' show off my 12 year old vag in public
Hila: The same mom who put me up to this gig.
Yeah your mom will let you wear whatever you want, as long as it earns her $100.
Do you workout? Do you wanna fuck right now?
Hila: You look buff.
Ethan: You look fuckin' jacked dude.
Like, some little ass, normal looking kid, 'You look JACKED, do you workout?
This HAS to be a parody.
'I'm 12, do you like younger girls?'
Hila: Oh my god....
Hila: Okay, who would write that, other than her divorced mom?
Ethan: I think SaladFlo is gonna be starring on To Catch A Predator soon
He's catching a cheater?
He's gonna be making a guest appearance on To Catch A Predator.. REAL soon.
Mark my words, dude.
Announcer: Do me a favor and have a seat right over there on that stool, please
You know what would be funny, if they set this up with like, a grown man
THAT would be interesting.
Have a 12 year old come at him, 'You like younger girls? Do you workout?'
THAT would be juicy.
Hila: YouTube 2017... Just wait.
Ethan: They don't care, they don't mind. Youtube doesn't mind.
This is just like, way too sexually provocative.
You know what's gonna happen?
North Korea is gonna get their hands on this video, and they're gonna show it to the people
As propaganda, like "LOOK how fucked up The United States is."
In Russia, in North Korea, all around the world the enemies of the United States
Are using this as propaganda against us.
And when world war 3 inevitably happens,
Fuckin' SaladFlo, YOU are going to be responsible for the fall of society.
Ethan (offscreen):His mom comfirms he's never seen it.
Oh wow, he just wants to fuck the shit out of that little girl.
Hila: I didn't even notice that!
Ethan: Yeah, his mom confirms he's never seen it, so...
Hila: What's the point of writing that?
Ethan: Drama, Hila. You're clearly not a fucking mastermind.
Hila: Oh my god...
You're clearly not a SaladFlo.
When you can Flo with the Salad, THEN you can set up these films.
That hug was fuckin' off the chain though.
I thought it was fake until I saw the hug
Then I'm like, actually it might be real
There was a lot of passion, a lot of emotion in that hug
I just love that there's adults involved like
The mum you can always see
Her smiling in the background
Like a lot of adults
Yeah
She's like: "Ok daughter now I need you to go say to that 13 year old boy, do you like youngers girls?"
"Do you wanna fuck me in the park right here before your mum gets back?
and show your face on camera when it's supposed to be real
so everyone who knows us and sees you in the future will think that you're a little fucking 12 year old slut
And that I'm your mum (they know i'm your mum)
And how much do I get paid? Probably a hundred dollars
Hila: She isn't even showing herself, this mom here
Ethan: hundred bucks, lady, was it worth it?
She's like, 'I don't give a shit, I need cigarettes.'
Hila: From what we've learned from the pranksters, they don't even pay $100
Ethan: They don't even PAY!
Ethan: How much did you pay them?
Joey Salads: I didn't even pay them
Luis: Do you consider that cheating, then, I guess?
Girl: Its uh.. IT'S CHEATING.
Girl 2: Hey, we'll get you a dress!
Girl 1: I don't want a dress!
Girl 1: I wanna go home.
Girl 2: Would you please stop filming
Hila: Those parents are not qualified to be parents.
This video was a callout to Child Protection Services
'I'll be making a cameo soon, on To Catch A Predator!'
Keep your eyes out for that!
Hila: It's the collab of the century.
Ethan: Yeah, collab of the century, it's just a prank when I show up guys
DON'T believe it's real.
This is when it gets even stranger...
K?
You guys, it starts strange, it gets weird, now it gets even weirder!
Hila: How?
Ethan: Oh, I'm glad you asked.
The followup!
They follow up with this girl who got cheated on
by that LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT 12 YEAR OLD!
Thirteen year old, who likes younger girls!
Okay, he took the bait HARD.
So... Has she moved on?
Has she found new love?
Hila: No.
Ethan: Have her wounds healed?
Hila: No.
Hila: She's probably depressed.
Ethan: It ruined her life. Hila: Yeah.
Well let's find out, I mean, you don't even need to actually answer the question
'cause we have the answers right here before us.
I'm sure you guys are waitng with baited breath.
Let's have a look.
Luis: alright guys so we're back with my friend Sarah.
And we're doing a little follow up just to see what's happened since uh... well you guys know.
So let us know what happened,
did you break up with Jaden or are you guys still together?
Sarah: Yeah.
Luis: So this is your NEW boyfriend.
Real cool.
Alright so what's been the biggest difference between dating Jaden and now dating Marquis?
Sarah: He know's how to treat a lady.
Hila: He knows how to treat a lady?
Ethan: What does that mean? What has he done?
How does he know how to treat a lady?
Why is everything so sexual?
Luis: You would never... So you're done with cheaters basically?
Sarah: Yes..
Luis: Cool.
Hila: Oh SHIT.
Like how do I comment on the fact that, like, why is it a little black boy?
Like how do I comment on that?
Like I'm not saying it wouldn't happen,
I'm not saying I wouldn't bless their relationship.
It's just... You have to acknowledge that it's a little fucking twist of strange.
And also he looks like he's fucking eight.
Hila: Yeah, she likes younger boys.
Ethan: SHE likes younger boys. She likes 'em MUCH younger.
He looks like... eight years old.
So she found.. She went dark chocolate.
That's like, the revenge.
Fuck you white boys, I'm going dark chocolate,
and she's probably never coming back to the white boys.
That's what he's doing right now, that's why it's so fucked up!
Cuz he's like "She got cheated on by a white guy,
and now she's fuckin' a black dude for revenge."
With an eight year old and a twelve year old.
This dude's SICK.
Hila: This guy is sick. Seriously.
Luis: And Marquis, would you ever cheat on your girlfriend?
Marquis: No. I know a good thing when I see it.
Luis: Nice.
What advice can you give to all the girls out there who, uh, wanna test their boyfriend?
Sarah: Never stay with a cheater.... 'cuz you're always gonna find something better.
Ethan: It's real. That's real!
NEVER stay with a cheater because you will ALWAYS find something better!
A black man, to fuck the shit out of you,
and give you the love that your pussy ass white boyfriend NEVER COULD.
Also, he's eight.
Hila: I like how you can't post porn on youtube, but somehow,
they created stuff like this shit.
Ethan: This is pretty much child porn.
Hila: Yeah.
Ethan: It's as close as child porn as you can possibly get.
and still be allowed on YouTube and be legal.
Although I feel like-
Hila: It's not only allowed, it's like blowing up on YouTube.
Ethan: It's blowing up.
I don't know if it's like, weird creepo motherfuckers, or kids watching this shit.
It's probably a fifty-fifty split.
Hila: Yeah, everyone joins the party.
Ethan: It's.. yeah, everyone's invited.
Hila: Do you have a printer?
Ethan: Yeah I got a printer.
A big one.
I have a really big printer. I'll sell it to you-
Hila: I like big printers.
Ethan: For sex.
Now this is my favorite part of this whole crazy journey.
So he has shown this to hundreds of millions of people probably.
It's at every single video, the last one
Go to his page... ZERO.
Not one motherfucker was like 'I'm gonna give this guy $1 to keep doing his thing.
Hila: I think it makes sense because none of these people..
Ethan: I mean, they'll take a printer.
They'll take- Money is meaningless to them.
Hila: Yeah, or
Ethan: They use new currency.
They barter.
Hila: patreon should add a new feature
Ethan: Barter: send us a printer and we'll give them a credit.
Send 'em a printer every month and we'll give them $120 bucks.
Not one sick pedo ass fuck-
Maybe that's why people don't give.
Cuz they're like, 'I don't wanna be on the FBI watchlist.'
Hila: Yeah.
Ethan: If I give him a dollar, I'm being investigated by the FBI.
I hope you guys enjoyed your journey, through, uh, SaladFlo.
And, um, he has new episodes every Monday night at 9pm, and I heard that
In the next week he'll be doing a cameo, a huge cameo in To Catch A Predator
He'll be doing a cameo as one of the predators,
When you see it, just know that it's just a cameo guys, it''s not serious so,
Stay tuned for more borderline pedophelia
that you can jerk off to without going to prison.
Hila: Yeah, sounds good.
Ethan: That's a real joy. That's a real special thing.
I mean there's.. YouTube is a special place, and there's-
Hila: I'll subscribe.
Ethan: Yeah I'm gonna subscribe.