[Music]
oh no
you got me
what's up everybody we're the bad guys
we'll take it from here
and you said we couldn't catch her oh no
you didn't she's about to do her opening
fight scene it's gonna blow your mind
all right no funny
business like this
oh no our guns are certainly useless
fine i'll get her then so long suckers
anything you can do i can do better
somebody didn't skip leg day how about
this
you coming
no
really you guys aren't very consistent
hurry she's getting away who cares about
guns i am gonna use a truck instead well
it's been real but i gotta bounce
oh man she got away yeah no kidding
dennis all right well we better start
looking for this neo
wake up dummy what did you just type hey
there cutie pie whoa my computer thinks
i'm hot i'm a real human girl lol let's
meet up wait how do i know i can like
trust you i know what a stoplight looks
like all right i'm convinced
hey there hot stuff the name's trinity
whoa i totally hit the jackpot in terms
of meeting stranger from the internet
i'm about to change your life neo dude
i'm late for work stop being late for
work you got it dude package for you neo
whoa it's a sick phone from the 90s
hello man you need to get the heck out
of your office neo they are coming for
you get your butt out there come on you
need to jump out of the window right now
oh my god i gotcha
well looky what we have here we know
you're a hacker senor neo anderson so do
what we say no way
well then we'll just have to mess your
face up what you think about that whoa
what what are you doing
you like that here have a tummy
was it a dream nope
this is morpheus he's our leader
you want to know what the matrix is yes
well i can't tell you you have to
experience it for yourself with drugs
i'm not supposed to take anything from
strangers come on pretty please okay all
right things are about to get weird now
whatever you do don't touch that mirror
whoa
i can't help it did you just touch the
mirror what no
what
where am i
we got a live one should i terminate we
can't have a sequel if you don't
we
are naked
what's up baby welcome to the real world
you've already met trinity don't worry
about getting to know the rest of the
crew cause they're all about to die
watch out for this one though he's
probably gonna betray us it's true
what is happening all right let's
finally show you the matrix
basically everything you've known is a
lie and it's all done to keep you
compliant so that you can be a battery
but how did this happen well we created
artificial intelligence never mind i get
it anyway we're able to hack into this
vape world called the matrix with our
superfly digital avatars watch out for
those guys though they're really the
machines in disguise uh-oh but don't
worry i'm your operator i can give you
all the fighting and vehicle training
you need all right time for a montage no
no we don't do that here we can learn it
all in seconds see whoa you mean
anything yeah anything
whoa i just learned hopscotch
whoa i just learned gardening
whoa i just learned subtraction okay
that's enough maybe just whatever the
plot requires haha look at me i'm the
chosen one be humble
so how are you having this secret
meeting in the matrix without an
operator shut up nobody cares about that
so you're actually going to betray your
fellow humans yep they were right about
me you're kind of a bad friend it's time
to meet the oracle neo the rest of you
get ready to die so who's this oracle
she's an old lady that knows everyone's
business so like grandma cool i can't
wait until she tells me that i'm the one
you ain't the one what uh morpheus shut
up we gotta go there's something you
should know we have to hurry we're about
to be hello human get out of here
it sounds like you have a potty mouth
now you look like you have one too
they just captured morpheus and we don't
know where cipher went oh i'm right here
you need to watch out tank i think
cipher's a bad guy no i'm not
dang it
man i am so clumsy
oh neo looks like you're next you forget
something did i forget to make sure
you're dead bingo
well guys we tried looks like we lost we
better unplug morpheus before they crack
him and destroy us all or
what if i save him instead that's dumb
you're dumb there's no way you could
save him all by yourself who said i'm
going by myself you coming trinity yeah
all righty then let's get you geared up
for your funeral what do you want a
bunch of handguns wait that's all you
want no tank no jets i can't do sick
moves in a tank tank guess we'll save
that for how it should have been to do
opening okay handguns it is
we have to hurry who knows what they're
doing to poor morpheus ooh your head
feels slippery now tell me the codes i
need to get out of this place i can't
stand the smell you wanna know why you
can't escape the smell why because your
face looks like butt there may be a
problem there are two humans downstairs
and they are doing sick moves well kill
them you dummies
looks like it's game over for you
my turn
anything you can do i can do better hey
that's our line
shut up 2v1 no fair ooh there's a
helicopter here let's fly it we could
have started with that hey robots get
away from morpheus he won't fire he'd
probably hit his friend
how could he be so accurate oh yeah
thanks marina
let's get out of here don't worry i'll
kiss you when you die wait what bye
senor anderson quanto sonia's tionais me
gusta albonda guys
[Music]
get me out of here dude go to the hotel
from the beginning of the movie i made
it hello bang bang bang bang oh
thanks for not dodging those bullets
that was very helpful
now's my time to shine neo guess what i
love you
is she making out with a corpse
[Music]
i'm back dude come on no fair whoa i can
use the force
and i could totally out punch you now
oh my god
yeah
girlfriend power now i'm the tummy
tickler
hit it i'm ticklish i'm ticklish
i'm totally a jedi now dude we should
probably go yeah i think i have a thing
all right robots i just killed one of
you and now i'm coming for the rest
i'm not actually dead that's it i'm done
this film is perfect sequel's cancelled
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so
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