- Why do you think the maitre d' shaved my junk?
- This is an Italian restaurant.
(Jordan laughs) - Oh.
(beep)
- [Jordan] Colonics, kidney killers,
and medical jumper cables?
What?
Today is about to get wild and funny,
because we are back at it,
reacting to medical scenes and injuries of American Dad,
number five.
Let's dive right in.
(beep)
- Jeff, I wanted to take you out to dinner
to celebrate your efforts to impregnate my daughter.
(jarring music)
- That's not that much of an effort, Mr. S.
- Excellent.
And, here we are at the restaurant.
- Wait a minute.
I mean, it's kinda weird, awkward,
but maybe good to address?
This would lead into another conversation
that you might not be having about safe sex
versus after the fact that there is a baby made
or a sexually transmitted infection.
It's important to talk about.
♪ Let's talk about sex, baby. ♪
(car screeching)
(Jordan laughing)
- I love that the title says, "Vasectomies."
Vasectomy basically is a procedure
where you almost cut the tubes
where the sperm is coming out.
But, you don't have sperm,
so, no sperm equals no fertilization of a egg,
which means no baby.
- It's uh, pretty sweet
they gave us a private dining room, huh?
- But, why do you think the maitre d' shaved my junk?
- This is an Italian restaurant.
(Jordan laughing) - Oh.
- [Jordan] They wouldn't probably let you have that hat on.
If you're in a pre-op
and not eating food before you go into a procedure,
you need to be NPO,
which basically means nothing by mouth.
- How big is your minestrone?
- Is this man not aware
he's here for a medical procedure?
- Can you tell me a little bit more about your colonoscopy?
Is that spicy? - Oh, my gosh.
A colonoscopy is when you stick a camera in the colon,
to be able to look,
make sure that there's no polyps,
any abnormalities in bleeding,
or any masses.
(television screeching)
Tooter Rooter Home Colonics.
Oh, my gosh, the colonics topic.
All right, let's see where this goes.
- And now, I need you to turn over on your side.
- Oh, my god.
Oh, my god, wait.
Okay, it's in.
- [Jordan] So they're shooting water up your rectum,
into your colon,
to help clean it out, wash it out.
- Real good.
(Roger groans)
You can turn it up a bit.
All the way.
This ain't my first butt blast.
(Jordan laughing)
- Oh, my gosh, you can't force this.
- You know what, Ladon?
Turn it down just a little.
- Oh, my gosh, it's coming out his nose.
- What's the matter, Frannie?
You look troubled.
- If you have so much water in your system,
it's gonna go into your stomach,
up your esophagus and out your mouth.
But, he's an alien.
I don't know how his anatomy is.
- I see.
Think you're gonna hide behind the coma?
(Roger laughs)
You always did go for the big moves, didn't ya?
- Coma, sometimes there's a medication induced coma,
but sometimes people can be in a coma
from abnormal brain function without being sedated.
So, there's multiple different levels
of how you would consider somebody to be in a coma.
- Why did I hide this coffee?
They probably would've let me carry this in here.
(syringe squeaking)
- Actually, that syringe is really cool.
Typically, you see that more often at the dental office,
'cause they need a little bit more free hands.
In the emergency department,
we're using disposables,
and very rarely do we have this type of disposal.
Very expensive.
- Wakey, wakey.
- So, he's injecting coffee into the IV port.
Don't do that.
It's not sterile.
It's dangerous.
There was actually a nurse,
I believe that either got severely ill or died
injecting coffee in an IV to themselves.
(mouse clicking)
(razor scratching)
All right.
Oh, my gosh. - That's oughta do it.
- That would really, really hurt.
But, if you look behind the bed,
they actually did a really good job.
You see that board of all the power supply?
The different colors are dealing with oxygen,
regular air suction.
But, not sure why he needs water at his bedside
if he's not breathing on his own?
(mouse clicking)
Oh, my gosh.
(engine revving)
Yeah, no.
Wouldn't have that at the hospital.
We have defibrillator machines.
(bike humming)
(Jordan laughing)
(patient gasping)
- It worked!
- Oh, my gosh.
It works!
(hospital staff screaming)
Oh, my gosh, it wouldn't work that way.
It needs to be upper right chest,
lower left flank, or front and back.
- Front and back!
- Just depends on the body habits of the individual.
(mouse clicking)
- It worked!
(patient speaking in a foreign language)
What?
Wait, Michael Edward Upton does not speak Spanish.
- Hugely important to make sure you look at the wristband
to make sure it's the right person.
Prior to getting surgery,
somebody will come in, "Who are you?
What procedure are you having done today?
Where are you having it?"
- Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
- And they'll actually give you a pen
and write on
where you're actually getting the procedure done.
- Oh, no.
- That's right.
Ultimate Kellys!
- [Jordan] That's a lot of alcohol.
Hopefully, they're drinking a lot of water.
- Honey, you sit this one out.
They don't call her the kidney killer for nothin'.
- Oh, my gosh.
Alcohol is metabolized via your liver.
Kidneys are more related to different types of medications,
not alcohol.
So, they're actually hydrating their kidneys.
They're injuring their liver.
But, we don't know what's in that drink,
so I'm not sure.
(mouse clicking)
There we go.
(heart beating)
Oh, super sweet.
The pectoralis muscle.
You definitely see the deltoids, the shoulders.
You see the eight pack that's goin' on there.
The rectus abdominis muscle,
and then you have the transverse abdominis
and the obliques, very cool.
- [Hayley] One, two, three.
- Goodbye, Joe.
- Oh, man.
We have two kidneys, typically.
Some people have one kidney or a horseshoe kidney.
They definitely look like kidney beans,
and they're attached by these blood vessels.
Definitely see that there's something wrong
with the one kidney over there.
Looks like it's failing.
- No, I can't make it alone.
(kidney crying)
- Oh, no.
You can totally live with only one kidney.
People donate 'em all the time.
If you do do that,
you definitely want to make any doctor aware of that,
just in case they're giving you things
that could increase the risk of hurting
the one kidney that you have.
- Oh,
my insides hurt.
(Hayley wheezes)
(glass breaking)
(mouse clicking)
(beep)
- You don't really necessarily feel pain in your kidney.
But, if you have trauma to your kidney,
a fracture to your kidney,
or hematomas or blood around the kidney
that can cause pressure on it,
that could cause pain.
(dramatic music)
(mouse clicking)
Definitely saw somebody smoking outside.
Typically, hospitals will require you
to be X number of feet away from a hospital property
before you can smoke,
even if you're a staff member.
- One of Hayley's kidneys died,
and her other kidney is failing.
She's gonna need a transplant.
- Oh, my god.
- There's a very long list
for kidney transplants, unfortunately.
Typically to temporize that, you go on dialysis,
basically having their blood cycled out of their body,
into a machine that helps clean it,
so to speak.
(Brett groaning)
- Brett, Brett!
I thought I lost you.
- Typically, you don't want the blood pressure cuff
on the same side as your IV site,
because as it blows up,
it's gonna prevent any fluids from going up,
and then he's hooked up to a old school monitor
that's only got one EKG blip,
but, it's kinda close.
- Stan, it's okay.
'Cause I believe now,
I believe in God.
- Really?
- Yes.
I actually met him.
- We've all heard stories where somebody passes away,
and they've seen lights.
People will have these different types of stories.
You don't know if they're true, not true.
I like to hope to think that there's something else beyond,
but, hard to actually define that.
- Right before they kicked me down to Hell.
- Whoa. - Whoa.
- And that's where I met the devil,
who agreed to let me come back to life,
if I would work to spread the fame and glory of Satan.
(Stan laughs)
- Now, now Brett, you know you've suffered
some massive head trauma?
- There's a head injury which can cause hallucinations,
alter your mental state.
Or individuals that are schizophrenic
or have some sort of other mental health issue,
they also have these very grandiose type of ideas as well.
- No, Stan, it's true.
Where else would I have gotten this awesome goat guitar?
(guitar strumming)
(glass breaking)
- It looks like he was getting blood.
Like he's got red bags behind him.
He might have had trauma,
and needed blood and had blood loss.
(mouse clicking)
Oh, drinking blood
- Man. I'm starved!
Wanna go get some nachos and watch the Ravens game?
- [Jordan] Drinking blood doesn't absorb appropriately,
will cause nausea and vomiting.
There are some sects within society
where people believe in vampirism,
but, please don't do that.
These were actually really good clips of American Dad.
Very good talking points that I can talk about.
I really enjoyed it.
If you guys enjoyed this, please do me a favor.
Definitely check out this playlist right here.
Binge watch everything,
and, as always, make sure you subscribe,
turn those bell notifications on,
and hit that like button for me.
Thank you so much for watching,
and stay healthy, my friends.
(beep)
(upbeat music)
(beep)