Scott.
I've been watching you for a while now.
Or should I call you Mr I-don't-wash-my-hands-after-masturbating?
Oh my God.
Scott, I need you to be the Ant Man.
One question: Is it too late to change the name?
No, it's not too late. I have a whole list of alternatives.
- Small Man? - No.
- Micro Man? - No.
- Teeny Weeny Man? - No.
- The Shrinker? - No.
- Captain Compensating? - Wha-? No!
- Emascu-Lady? - No.
- The Dickless Wonder? - Uh, you know what?
"Ant Man" has really grown on me.
Well, that's why I picked it.
Now, the suit has power.
You have to learn how to control it.
Uh, just make sure you wash your hands this time.
And these are your greatest and only allies.
Aw, you're kinda cute.
AARGH! Role reversal!
When you're small, you have superhuman strength.
You're like a bullet.
So you need to know how to punch.
Show me how you punch.
That's how you punch.
OK then, show me how to rupture a kidney.
You're a slow learner.
You tried to hide your suit from me.
- Well it's right here. Whoops! It's gone. - Stop it.
- Where did it go? Oh, there it is. - Stop it.
- Oh, its gone again! [LAUGHS] - Stop it! Stop hiding it, Scott!
I wanna see it! No fair!
Now, its gonna blow up in your face
and destroy everyone you care about.
But... the only person I care about is you.
Nice try.
Ah, these names suck!
- How about Anti-social Man? - No.
- Anti-depressant Man? - No.
- Anti-inflammatory Man? - No.
- Anti-semitic man? - That's just racist!
- Anti-septic man? - Mm, could have some applications.
- Anti-matter man? - Hey, now you're talking!
- Anti-perspirant Man? - Stop talking.