-Congratulations on your haircut in the movie.
-Thank you. [ Laughter ]
Thank you, yeah.
They were like, "We have a wig for you."
I was like, "Wigs? I got my own."
-Did you -- Now, did you? -No, that was my hair.
-Really? -Yeah, yeah.
-I was watching saying, "That looks really good."
And you've got a great head of hair
that I feel like can also look awful as evidenced by that,
but that's great. -It's called a period piece.
-No, I actually remember going up to Kathryn Bigelow,
who is one of the greatest directors ever.
And she was like, "Yeah, just pull the hair down.
It's kind of the style." And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, totally."
And I kept trying to sneak it back for the scene.
I wanted to do a lot of like -- "You know, Your Honor."
And she's like "No, no, no. It's not how they wore it."
And I was like, "Okay, I'll put it back."
-Yeah. It's so weird to think that there was just a time
where everybody was totally fine with like just hair.
Yeah, just like just resting there your whole day,
a big old -- big old fat piece of hair.
-Just a nation of, like, skater kids being like,
"Hey I'm also a lawyer."
You know?
-And did you know -- so this is --
You mentioned Oscar winner Kathryn Bigelow directed and --
-I thought you were talking about me.
I was like, "Oscar winner? Let's not jump the gun.
I'm feeling pretty good."
The hair will win. -The hair will win, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Did you know much about these Detroit riots?
-I had heard about it.
I had heard a little bit about it, but nothing in detail.
And it's unlike anything else I've seen.
To say it's the best movie I've seen in a long time
is such an understatement because it's almost --
When I came out of the screening, this girl was like,
"You know, people are talking about virtual reality.
That is virtual reality." And that's what it is.
You're immersed in this movie in a way that when it ends,
you're like, "What just happened?"
You were in some weird time portal and it's --
It should be a mandatory screening.
Everybody should see it just to see what it was.
-Fantastic. Congratulations on it.
-Thank you.
-And obviously, that's "Detroit."
When we first met, we're both Red Sox fans.
-In Detroit. -Met in Detroit.
We're Red Sox fans.
You're from Massachusetts. I'm from New Hampshire.
-That's true.
-Now as someone from Massachusetts,
do you think it's okay that somebody from New Hampshire is
also a Red Sox fan? Do you count us?
-Yeah, but, like, you're like our J.V. squad of fans.
-Yeah, okay, gotcha.
-Yeah, it's like we ride in the bus
and you guys ride in the cars behind the bus.
-That sounds about right.
-Yeah, you're like, "Go, Boston Red Sox fans."
We're like, "Thanks, guys."
-And yet neither of us -- we are both without accents.
-It's true. -Did you have to get rid of one?
-No. -Yeah.
-No, I grew up in Newton, Mass., which is the least street place,
I think, in the suburbs of Boston.
-I should point out, to the people in actual Boston,
you are the J.V. -That's right.
-Newton is to like Southie what New Hampshire is to Newton.
-Oh, yeah. Right now some guy's going,
"Is he giving that New Hampshire kid a hard time?
I'll give you a hard time, Newton."
That's what they're saying right now.
-So you have a Boston accent? You can do one.
-Yeah, I can dust it off any time.
-Yeah. -Usually a couple drinks helps.
-Yeah, it does.
-Or it doesn't even help. It just forces its way in.
-Yeah, exactly. -People are like,
"Oh, when he has drinks, he does the Boston accent."
It's like, "No, it's happening now."
-You also -- something else we have in common.
You have a couple -- You have two kids now, two girls.
-Yeah, we're multiplying.
-Beautiful girls.
This is interesting to me, because I'm on the first one.
I've heard you have issues with the baby products industry.
-You heard from who? -I've heard --
Look, I've read some negative Yelp reviews
that are very much in your voice.
-That's what it is. Oh, good. At least you've been tracking.
No, it's so funny, you find yourself --
because it's the most amazing thing in the world,
but you also feel like you're on duty,
so you feel kind of stressed out as far as --
You want it to be perfect.
And when they're really young, little things drove me insane.
Like wet wipes. Does anybody have kids?
Nobody has ever had a kid? -No.
There's these little bags of wet wipes that you pull out,
and you wipe bums, but the problem is,
you never pull out one.
They're, like, bunched in 200. -Yeah.
-So you're holding a kid that's like seven days old
and the first thing she's seeing
is this giant person being like...
[ Growling ] [ Laughter ]
Like, throwing this thing
and, like, trying to get one wet wipe out.
The baby's like, "This is the worst."
Emily's like, "What's going on?"
I'm like, "I'm just terrifying the child, it's fine."
And then just last week,
my youngest daughter got a onesie
that had color-coded buttons.
And I had to take a knee. It was like an emotional moment.
I went, "Thank you whoever invented this."
-Oh, yeah.
Like, when a kid's moving around, you're like,
"Where's the button go?"
And then my kid gets up like this,
and her shirt's like that.
-There are times where my wife will be in the other room
and can hear -- I'm not even saying anything.
She can just feel frustration coming.
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. -Like, is everything all right?
I'm like, "It's not going great with the onesie right now."
-That's nice. At least you explain it.
I just go, "Yeah!" -Yeah.
-"Is everything all right?" "Yeah!"
-When you walk over
and there's a new childproof lock on something,
and it's the first time you've seen it.
And you get over and like you immediately get flop sweat,
because you're, like, "I have do be an adult."
-And then "Mission: Impossible" starts playing.
It's like -- [ Imitating "Mission: Impossible" theme ]
-Because you're like, "I need to be able to figure this out
in 20 seconds, or else I'm going to be shamed for the next year."
-But you're also going up to it with a task
because your wife will be like,
"Hey, can you go down and grab that thing?"
You're like, "Yeah, yeah, totally. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, do you pull it then push it?
Do you talk to it then pull it?"
Do you have to play "Twinkle, Twinkle" and then it opens?
How does it happen? How does it work?
-Your beautiful wife, Emily Blunt,
she's in a film that you wrote and directed.
-Yes. -So that's very exciting.
-That's what this beard's for, yes.
It's not just depression. -It's a good beard, though.
-Thank you.
-That's not a depression beard, because it's like very --
It's nice and, like, trimmed. -Thank you, yes.
I wrote a script.
I rewrote a script these guys wrote, that it was great.
And I'm directing now.
And the best compliment of my entire career
is when she actually read it just to read it for me.
And then she said, "Would you ever let me be in the movie?"
-That's great. -And I took a knee again.
And she's like, "What is this taking a knee thing?
Why are you getting so emotional?"
And I'm like, "One sec!"