- Here smell me then.
- You smell like vanilla.
- Yeah good.
If you like, wear vanilla
guys like that, like the smell of food.
- Who lied to you?
- Cosmopolitan.
- This is a white chick.
She's reading Cosmopolitan
and taking fragrance advice.
I'm Karlos.
- How am I gonna do that?
- Okay blindfold, okay.
That wouldn't work for me because I sound white.
I used to get phone interviews,
you know how your job calls you
and they're like "Oh great",
and then I get there
and they're like
"We didn't have an interview for you."
And I was like yeah you did, yeah you did.
- Yup.
- [Man With Beard] Hello.
- [Karlos] Hi.
- [Man With Beard] Do I smell good or bad?
- It smells like soap.
- [Man With Beard] Well he got that right.
- Did you grow up here in Seattle?
- [Man With Beard] No, I'm from Kentucky.
- I think he's a black man.
Rap.
- Well, first of all that's racist,
to assume that all black men rap.
- He's definitely black because
only a black man says all black men,
like that's something I literally say,
so he's definitely a black man.
I feel like he has like a fade,
or no, maybe even dreads.
And that's my final decision.
- Alright, thank you.
- [Older Woman] Hi there.
- Uh, ooh.
- [Older Woman] Ooh?
What?
- Are you okay?
- [Older Woman] I'm okay.
- Is this that person's real voice?
- [Older Woman] You're walking on thin ice now.
- I don't know, this person's creepy.
He sounds like a caricature.
Are you a male or a female?
Say "Suck my dick."
- Why would I say that?
- Definitely a female,
'cause a male would have said it.
- Well, suck my dick.
- Talk sexy to me.
- Oh man.
Suck my dick.
- Give me some slang terms, talk Ebonics to me.
- What're you talkin' 'bout y'all?
- Definitely white,
50 year old white woman frail and skinny.
It was nice meeting you old person.
- You too, young black person.
- [Man] Hello.
- Hello.
How was your day, how are you doing?
- [Man] I'm pretty good, pretty good man.
I woke up, I'll be tired today.
- Oh wait, wait say you're tired again.
- Tired.
- He might be Asian.
Do you like anime?
- Yeah.
- Yup.
- My voice sounds Asian?
- Yeah do you not hear yourself?
I believe he is a foreign exchange student,
you have like the Asian comb-over,
maybe smaller than me.
Bye.
- Bye.
- What's so funny guys?
- [Girl] Hello.
- Hi.
- [girl] Hi.
- Who are y'all finding these caricatures at?
Do you like Outback?
- Outback SteakHouse?
- Yep, she's definitely Australia.
- What race do you think I am?
- Greek.
- Do I sound smart?
- Uh, the way you said smart, yes, smart.
- Cool, thank you
- Smart.
- [Woman] Hey.
Here smell me then.
- You smell like vanilla.
- [Woman] Yeah, good.
I mean, I do it for my boyfriend.
But if you,
listen, listen, listen.
- Oh no, uh-huh.
Your voice is annoying.
- Oh my God.
- So this chick was a cheerleader in high school.
- Whatever. - Did you read Ebony?
- I don't know what that is.
- Yep, definitely not black,
or a person of color.
'Cause even if you're not black,
you know what Ebony magazine is.
It's like the blackest magazine there is.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- Yeah.
Definitely stops at Starbucks at least twice a day,
she orders a double venti frappuccino.
- I love frappuccinos, too.
Because if you think about it.
Like, no listen--
- Listen, listen, listen.
Oh my god!
(laughs)
What is she wearing?
Like booty shorts?
I don't think that you're actually a valley girl,
I think that you're more of like a from New Jersey girl.
Like Snooki.
Snooki!
Snooki, perfect example!
Bye.
- Bye.
- Oh she's wearing wedges.
- [Woman] Yes, obviously!
- [Man With Red Shirt] What's up, what's up?
- You sounded like heavy footed,
so you're wearing some sort of a boot.
How you doing, how's your day?
- [Man With Red Shirt] I woke up a little late.
- Off the rip you just sound like,
like a white kid.
Who probably lives with his parents.
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
- How you doing today?
- That's not sweet.
- I like your haircut.
- Oh, thank you!
6'2.
Like surfer dude,
collared shirt, khakis.
Bye.
- Bye, thank you.
- [Blonde Woman] Hi.
- Hi.
- [Blonde Woman] Hi, what's your name?
- [Karlos] My name's Karlos.
Do you think you have a unique voice?
- [Blonde Woman] No, do you think you have a unique voice?
- No, I think you have a unique voice though.
I don't think you're from here.
I think you sound like you're from like Boston.
- Oh, are you kidding me?
Okay, whatever.
I'm not allowed to say anything,
but I'm from Pluto.
- Pluto?
Can you please say "I wish a motherfucker would."
- I wish a motherfucker would.
(laughs)
- She's so white.
You know who you remind,
okay, Long Island medium,
that's who I that you probably look like.
Bye.
- Bye, it was very nice meeting you.
- Likewise.
- Very interesting.
- I think I got the Asian guy right and Snooki.
Don't I know your wife?
I think I know his wife.
I know your wife, don't I know your wife?
- You may know my wife, she's Nobubu.
- Michelangelo? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
I just went,
how did I, I just went to a fucking party with 'em.
(laughs)
- I was using my white voice that day.
- Were you? (laughs)
How did you feel being known as, 'Black Man'?
- I mean it's not the first time I've heard that, obviously.
- See, has that ever affected your job?
- I've never been victimized by discrimination
because my voice sounds black,
but that's probably because interviews are done in person.
(laughs)
- I was actually adopted when I was 11 years old,
by a white family.
And my mom was and english teacher
and she worked very, very hard
'cause I did not speak like this before I was 10.
And she said that I'm already gonna have to work
twice as hard to be in this world,
so it'll at least make it a little bit easier,
just speak a little bit more properly.
- This young lady.
- I'm not a Greek, but I am Australian.
- Are you Australian? - Yeah.
- Okay, what's your nationality?
- My mom is Singaporean
and my dad is British.
- That's kind of like Greek.
- Who was the frail voice?
- Me.
- It's the pedophile from Family Guy.
(laughs)
- Want some ice cream?
(laughs)
- Where are you from?
- From Oahu, born and raised.
Moved out to the main island when I was like 17, so.
- There isn't an Asian here.
- There is.
- There is an Asian here!
- I'm an Asian! - There are Asians here!
- We're Asian!
- There's a lot of Asians here!
- But like the Asians that I was thinking was like,
they drive Porsches and shit.
(yells)
- Who's the Asian?
- This guy.
Where are you from?
- Whoa!
When people look at you,
do they think that you're just an American,
like a black American?
- Yeah, like when they look at me,
they think I'm American.
But then when I speak to them it's.
- Who did I say was 'Valley Girl'?
- It was me.
Do I look like I'm from the Valley?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- I got the short shorts right!
- You did get the short shorts right.
- And the wedges!
- I was a cheerleader for a really long time.
- I think I technically got her right.
- Yeah.
- I said she's very Snooki.
(clapping) - Group hug.
- It was nice seeing you guys!
- You guys are awesome!
Oh now you're like, "Oh shit, I'm gonna kill you."