- Why can't I get a chocolate milkshake?
- We don't have any milkshakes, I can get you coffee,
I can get you tea, I can get you soda.
- All I want's a chocolate milkshake.
- We don't have any milkshakes.
- What are you, the manager?
Give me the supervisor.
- He's not in.
- How about the king, can I speak to the king?
- You wanna talk to the king?
- I came to a Burger King, I wanna see the king.
- Fine.
(ominous music)
- [King] Who are you?
- I...
I just.
- [King] Kneel!
Begin.
- Look, all I wanted was a chocolate milkshake.
And I walked in and I spoke to the lady
and she says, there's no milkshakes.
So I said, let me speak to the manager.
The manager says, there's no milkshakes.
So I said, let me speak to the king,
can I speak to the king?
Cause I wanted to know what's wrong.
What's wrong?
- [King] You want to know what's wrong?
I'll tell you what's wrong.
("Little Green Bag")
♫ Looking back on the track
♫ For a little green bag
♫ Gotta find just a kind of losing my mind
♫ Out of sight in the night
♫ Out of sight of the day
♫ Looking back on the track
♫ Gonna do it my way
♫ Out of sight in the night
♫ Out of sight in the day
♫ Looking back on the track
♫ Gonna do it my way
♫ Looking back
♫ Looking for some happiness
- [King] Ronald McDonald has
kidnapped my daughter, the Dairy Queen.
She provides dairy products for the entire kingdom.
- [All] Banzai!
- [King] Ronald plans to milk her dry
and then chop her into hamburger meat.
He slaughtered my entire army, now
there's no one left to save her.
(evil cackle)
- I'll save the Dairy Queen.
I'll restore dairy products to the whole kingdom.
I'll do anything for little Dairy.
- Fuck the king!
Fuck the king!
I'm the king now, you understand me?
I'm the king!
- Hey Ronald, you want some milk?
- No thank you, I'm lactose intolerant.
(cow mooing)
- Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you, the mayor.
(speaking in German)
- Hey McCheese!
Take this!
(upbeat music)
- Oh no!
Why me?
Oh no, oh, help me...
Why...
(beeping)
(wincing)
(explosions)
- Take care.
(dramatic music)
- No!
- Take care.
- Move it, you fat cow bitch, back up, move it!
- Get down, get down!
- Who are you, what are you doing here?
- Hand me the Dairy Queen, that's all we want here.
- You ever seen somebody slit with his back,
it ain't pretty, pal!
She's gonna be one unhappy milk!
- What's wrong with you?
This is the land of liberty, justice, freedom
and you're a crazy clown, that's not right!
What's burning you inside, Ronald?
Let me help you, I wanna help you, Ronald, what's wrong?
- I don't wanna be the clown anymore.
I'm sick of being the clown.
I don't wanna be the clown any more, I'm sick of it.
Get back!
(screaming)
- Oh, my hero!
- [King] You've saved my daughter
and I give you her hand in marriage.
(classical music)
- Oh queen, oh come on, oh!
(groovy music)
Come to mummy, come to daddy!
- Wake up!
Wake up!
Hey yeah, you.
You were saying?
- Well I saved the Dairy Queen,
stop Ronald from a massive killing spree
and brought dairy products back to the Burger King.
Now I'm manager.
- And you didn't have the help of Blackstone the magician.
- Funny thing about magic, Rayshon,
you love it when you're eight,
you'll love it when you're 80.
- Mr. Palcous, I'm only 16.
- Give it time, Champ.
Give it time, you're still a youngin.
You gotta remember, fellas.
When you're working at Burger King,
you're not just serving customers.
You're actually serving the king.
- [Both] Yeah, the king.
- Enjoy your lunch break, boys.
Take care.
- Okay, Mr. Palcous, we'll get right on it.
- Thinking about the story he just told us.
- I know, just like, the biggest lie, you've ever really...
- As if that really happened.
- I know, what a little loser.
Like, that grimace guy.
- Yeah, that's right, like there was a grimace.
- There's no such thing and the hamburgalar thing
and the Mayor McCheese or whatever.
He just knocked off his head.
Like, yeah okay, I do that everyday.
I figured if you're gonna lie to people,
make it a better story, right?
- Think about that story.
- Such a stupid story.
You know, you make up a story, it's gotta be something real
like robots.
- Gotta be credible.
- Yeah, stuff like that.
- I don't believe a word he said
and second of all, how's he gonna do it without a shovel?
- I know, you have to have a shovel, I have a shovel.
- Shovel needs to be had.
- Five years from now, you wanna be like that?
- That's really sad.
Five years and I'll think about what he's gonna be.
Right where he is now,
don't know about you but I'm getting out of this joint.
- If I'm here five years and I'm
the manager, you shoot me okay?
- [Narrator] Watch new scary bits
every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.