-Hi. I'm Jimmy Fallon,
one of the few TV personalities who's still employed.
[ Laughter ]
Tucker Carlson, Don Lemon -- what's the --
what the hell's going on out there?
Everyone's talking about this. Today, Fox News announced
that they are parting ways with Tucker Carlson.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Some people aren't sure what led to his exit,
but Fox said that they can think of almost a billion reasons why.
[ Laughter ]
Yep, Tucker Carlson is out.
When he heard, Vladimir Putin was like,
[ Russian accent ] "Damn, we need a new P.R. guy."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] It's easy to make jokes
about Tucker being gone, but now who's gonna tell me
which M&M is most woke? You know?
[ Laughter ]
Fox knows their viewers are gonna miss Tucker,
so until they find a replacement,
his show will be hosted by a golf shirt
with the collars popped.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, it was a big day in the cable-news world
because just minutes after the Tucker story broke,
Don Lemon announced that he was fired by CNN.
[ Audience "Oohs" ]
When he found out that he no longer worked at CNN,
Lemon was like...
"Whoo-hoo! Later, suckers! Ha ha!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
Meanwhile, some more big news at CNN.
The network announced that Gayle King and Charles Barkley
will host a new weekly show called "King Charles."
[ Laughter ]
[ Questlove laughing ]
That's not a joke. [ Laughter ]
Gayle King... -Right.
-...and Charles Barkley.
So it's called "King Charles." -Charles.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, I guess it's better
than if some other celebrities teamed up for a show.
For instance, if Jean-Claude Van Damme
teamed up with Daniel Craig,
you would get Damme, Daniel!
[ Laughter ]
I might've watched that. -Yeah. Come on.
The new Van. -You know.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let me give you another example.
If you teamed up with Kid Rock, Emma Stone, and NeNe Leakes,
you get Kid Ne Stone.
You know, and you go... [ Laughter ]
If you teamed up Susan Boyle, Christopher Nolan,
and Leonardo DiCaprio, you get Sus, No Cap.
[ Laughter ]
If you teamed up Joe Pesci and (Not) Coco Gauff,
you get, Sorry, We Don't Have Coco.
Is Pesci Okay?
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I would watch all of these shows.
I love Gayle and Charles.
Some big news from Washington.
Tomorrow, President Biden is expected to announce
his re-election campaign.
Biden said, "I really want four more years as president
and in general."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Tomorrow's announcement is expected to be met
with the world's slowest clap from Kamala Harris.
[ Laughter ]
"Four more years."
Yeah, Biden said he wants four more years to get the job done.
And Americans were like, "We've already given you 50.
Get it done." Come on. Gosh.
I actually read that Biden plans
to kick off his re-election campaign
with a "low-key" video announcement.
We actually got a preview of it,
and I'm not sure how low-key it is.
Take a look at this.
-What's up, America?!
You ready to go insane for another Biden campaign?!
Hyah!
I know what you're thinking. He's older than Lincoln.
[ Train whistle blows ]
But his old ass is gonna get bills passed!
Joe's got the mojo, and America needs mo' Joe!
He's ready to fight even though he can't drive at night!
He'll debate in all 50 states! -Master debater!
-No ifs, ands, or buts!
He'll kick inflation in the nuts!
-Aah! -And you know he's gonna
tax the rich, bitch!
So chip in some cash or he'll spank dat ass!
Joe's ready to run! Not literally.
So strap in for some [bleep] fun.
Now get out the vote for the 80-year-old GOAT!
[ Goat screams ] Whoo!
-That's not low-key.
[ Cheers and applause ] That is not low-key at all!
-[ Laughing ]
-Some business news. [ Laughter ]
Bed, Bath & Beyond has filed for bankruptcy
and will close permanently in the next few months.
It's crazy. A business crashed and burn
without being run by Elon Musk. Isn't that unbelievable?
[ Laughter ]
Right now, Kmart is like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You still think you're better than us,
Bed, Bath & Beyond? [ Clicks tongue ]
Let us know how 'beyond' is, okay?"
[ Laughter ]
You guys see this?
On Saturday night, during a show at Disneyland,
a 45-foot-tall animatronic dragon caught on fire.
Take a look at this. It's real.
♪♪
-Your attention, please.
Due to unforeseen circumstances,
this performance of Fantasmic cannot continue.
Thank you. -Ohh!
-Whoa!
[ Laughter ]
-Of course, it's Disneyland, so they offer to sell people
a photo of themselves running for their lives.
[ Laughter ]
"50 bucks."
Well, this is going viral.
A movie theater in Alaska recently
had an unexpected visitor. Check this out.
-Oh, my gosh, bro.
[ Laughs ]
-It's a moose.
Yeah. Everyone at the theater got to play a fun game of,
"Is that or is that not a milk dud?"
Very interesting.
[ Laughter ]
-"Not!" -Finally...
Finally, a new poll found that nearly 40% feel exhaustion
over the idea of a Biden-Trump rematch in 2024.
Very interesting poll.
Check out some of the other data they released.
First up, when asked, "Who will you vote for in 2024?"
5% said Trump, 5% said Biden,
90% said, "Whoever can score me Taylor Swift tickets."
[ Laughter ]
"I got to see Eras. I got to see Eras."
-Up next, when asked, "Are you excited about voting?"
70% said no. 30% said, "Only if we're talking
about 'The Masked Singer.'" Then you go...
"Who's the octopus?"
Next up, when asked, "Do you think Nikki Haley,
Marianne Williamson, or Asa Hutchinson have a chance?"
99% said, "Lol, no." [ Laughter ]
1% said, "I don't know who any of these people are,
And I'm Asa Hutchinson." -Wow.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Up next, when asked "Who's the candidate
with the most impressive résumé?"
15% said Biden, 10% said Trump,
75% said George Santos.
[ Laughter and applause ]
It's a great résumé. -Very impressive.
-Great résumé. Here's another one.
When asked, "Where do you get your news about
the upcoming election?" 40% said Google,
40% said TikTok, 19% said Facebook.
Joe Biden said, "The town crier."
[ Laughter ]
"Hear ye, hear ye!"
-Ding ding, ding ding!
[ Applause ]
[ Drumming ]
Up next, when asked, "What should the president
be focused on right now?"
40% said reversing climate change,
40% said fixing the economy,
and 40% said improving our students'
math and reading scores.
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
And finally, when asked, "Who is the strongest team
going into the 2024 election?" 20% said Biden-Harris,
10% said Trump-DeSantis,
70% said Michelle Obama/ Michelle Obama.
We have -- [ Cheers and applause ]
We have a great show.
Give it up for The Roots, ladies and gentlemen!
♪♪
-♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ Once again ♪
♪ Ladies and gentlemen ♪
♪♪
-I had a -- I had a very fun weekend.
-Looked like it. -Yeah, I went to --
You saw on the socials? I went to Vegas.
I flew to Vegas because Justin Timberlake
has a charity golf tournament.
And I don't really get to play that much.
I play it once a year for this tournament.
-Yeah, that's it. You got a job.
-Yeah, I work. Yeah, I love it.
Yeah. But I went out there. I had so much fun.
I was playing with -- Strahan was there,
but we had JJ Watt was there.
Michelle Wie. Travis Kelce was fun.
-Oh, he is so fun. -Kelce did karaoke.
We just got on stage with the band,
and he sang AC/DC "Back in Black."
It was one of the best things I've ever seen
in my entire life. It was awesome.
I golfed with Justin Timberlake was my partner. Here we are.
We wore magnetic belt buckles one day and that was hard.
-Look out!
-That was interesting. That was hard.
Anyway, it was fun. I want to thank everyone.
Of course, there's only one winner, and, uh...
-Oh! Snap!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Dang!
Winner!
Justin Timberlake and I won the tournament.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you to 8AM Golf!
8AM Golf. And thank you to the win.
Thank you, Justin. I'm happy to just be nominated.
[ Cheers and applause ]
What a show we have for you tonight.
She stars in the new movie "Fool's Paradise,"
which opens in theaters May 12th.
Kate Beckinsale is here tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Love Kate Beckinsale.
You know him from "The Office."
His new book, "Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution,"
it comes out tomorrow, and you can see him in the series
"Rainn Wilson and the Geography of Bliss," on Peacock.
Rainn Wilson is joining us tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ]
And we got great music tonight! Oh, my gosh.
One of my favorites. Romeo Santos.
-Oh! [ Cheers and applause ]
-We'll be talking to him,
and he's going to perform later in the show.
Stick around. We'll be right back with Kate Beckinsale,
ladies and gentlemen.