Hey there, this is Clay.
And today I want to talk about how to know if you're ready to get back in contact with
your ex.
So got a message, recently from a guy who had been working with, named Erin
and
basically he, he reached out to his ex prematurely and he kind of, he kind of set himself back
a bit because of that.
And, and we were, we were kind of telling him that based on what he was telling us,
he wasn't really ready, but he kept saying, yeah, man, I'm just really excited.
I'm just really excited and eager to do this.
But to be honest, that was an actual what's happening that was actually kind of, his sort
of way of twisting his anxiety and his fear and sort of looking at it as, as a positive
thing.
So today I want to tell you how to tell if you are ready and if you've been doing active,
no contact, they should all happen pretty much automatically through the whole, three,
three phase mindset upgrade thing that we talk about.
But, but basically you're not ready if you are afraid of what they're going to say or
do if you are worried about doing it right.
If you're, if you think about them or your relationship and you feel any sort of intense
negative emotion like fear or loss or heartbreak or, if you feel motivated by like revenge
or, or like proving to them how great things would have been if they hadn't left you or,
or anything like that, you're not ready.
If you are looking at for your exit approval, you're not ready.
If I'm,
if in your heart, you just know that you're not going to be offering the best of who you
are to them and, and you're not ready if, okay.
I didn't plan on talking about this, but, there's kind of like this, this sliding scale,
right?
There's two extremes and and
okay,
if you can look at this one is like what you want, which is getting back together and this
one is what you don't want, which is ruining your chances.
And you know, every action you take is either going to move you towards one or the other
and the difference between the actions, they're going to move you toward what you want and
away from what you want has to do with the emotional energy behind each action.
Okay?
So the actions that are going to move you away from what you want are emotions that
have an energy of like being close to being constricted.
Emotions like, like loss and fear and anger and approval, seeking, stuff like that.
How it all has like this very choked off sort of closed energy to it.
You know, things like begging and pleading things like, you know, writing some, some
like long heartfelt letter intending on guilting your ex and are coming back to you.
stalking them.
You know, any, anything like that, that all has a very closed negative energy that's going
to push you towards the direction of, of not getting the back of ruining your chances.
And the emotional content of things are gonna move you toward what you want, has a very
open and expansive energy to it.
And you know, these are, these are very positive things like doing them a favor.
You know, not like a favor where it's like, yeah, man, I'll change your oil if you, I
get back together with me and like, you know, I think if I'm really nice to you, then you'll
want to be with me.
Know that, that that's totally a closed off, constricted emotions going to move you this
way.
But if you are just genuinely doing a favor for them without expecting anything in return
just from a sort of openness in your own heart, then that's gonna move you towards what you
want towards getting back together.
Other things are like respecting their wish to have space away from the relationship that,
that sort of an open and expansive thing that's gonna move you towards what you want.
Respecting yourself enough to not put up with bad treatment from them or other people that's
gonna move you toward what you want.
And, and you know, even just like giving a, a compliment or flirting with them, again,
without the expectation that it becomes anything else or that it leads to anything else, just
sort of enjoying that moment together with them that will help move you towards what
you want, which is to get that relationship back.
So, so if you feel motivated to contact them by any sort of emotion that is closed off,
constricted a or anything like that, that's going to move you this way, then you are not
ready to contact your ex.
You know, these are like emotions like fear of loss.
Like, you know, my window of opportunity is going to close, you know, she's going to move
on without me or anything like that that is going to push you this way.
It's going to ruin your chances and you are not ready to contact your ex.
But if you're willing to meet up with them, if you're willing to just sort of touch base
with them and see where they're at without any expectation, without sort of trying to,
to, to, you know, when their approval or anything like that, if you're willing to just be there
with them and enjoy wanting them, but without feeling the need to get with them, then that
is when you're ready to contact your ex because that has a very expansive and open, energy
to it.
And that will move you in the direction that you want.