- Here's what we should do:
chicken piccata, the stuffed shells,
and the orecchiette with kale and fennel sausage crumble.
- You don't even like fennel and do you even know
what orecchiette is?
- The reviews say they're not to be missed.
- You should get the fettuccini alfredo.
I mean, we love fettuccini alfredo.
- I'm an adult and I'm gonna order my own dinner.
- But why take the risk when the data says these are great?
- Because I'm a human being and not a robot.
- [Noah] Well, that's debatable.
Now, let's ask Liam.
- We gonna be here all night.
You know he can't make a decision.
- I am good at making decisions.
(tentative guitar music)
- Paper or plastic?
- I, uh...
- Okay, Liam, go for it.
- Uh...
- Do we need a minute?
- No, we're gonna do the chicken piccata,
the stuffed shells, and the orecchiette.
- [Server] Great choices, all of our most popular dishes.
- I just read that.
- Man, I can order for myself.
I can talk to people.
Tell them what I want.
I ain't stressing about this.
It is what it is.
(elevator music)
(laughing)
I know, you got a little nervous.
You grabbed the water and stuff.
- (laughing) So?
- I mean, it's okay.
- Liam, come on, you gonna get down on this or what, man?
- No, I'm good, thanks.
- Keep it slim for the date?
- Yeah (laughing).
- Oh, who is she?
- She messaged me and seemed nice,
so I asked her to meet out.
- Well, let's see the picture.
(exhales)
That's a fairy drawing.
- [Noah] Let me see.
(laughing)
You going on a date with Tinkerbell?
- Does she have any other pictures?
- [Liam] No, I mean, she seemed nice though.
- 55-year-old men can seem nice
and post fairy drawings.
- Liam, why didn't you just ask us to set you up?
- You guys aren't exactly kings of relationships, all right.
You've never been in a serious relationship.
- Aye, that's what I'm talking about.
- And I can't remember the last time
a girl's met your standards.
- Okay, first of all, this weekend,
I have a date with a 100% match,
so boom.
- Choose your women like you choose your meal.
Liam, where can we watch this trainwreck unfold?
- Here.
- (laughing) You mean later for drinks?
- No, I thought she could just join us.
- [Noah and Felix] Tonight?
- Oh, Noah, order dessert.
We gonna be here for awhile.
- Should I not have done that?
- [Noah] No. - [Felix] Relax.
- Olivia?
Hi, hi. (laughing)
How are you? - [Olivia] Good.
- This is Felix and that's Noah.
- [Olivia] Hi. - [Felix] Hi.
I'm a hugs person.
You know, you gotta bring it in on me (laughing), all right.
- Liam, you know what, Felix and I
can just get another table if you guys have--
- No, no, let's all have a fun time.
Felix, hey, why don't we go see
if we can find some dinner mints.
- Already got 'em on the way in.
You know, they're the soft kind too.
- Amazing.
Why don't you show me where you got them
and then I can have some too?
- Okay. - [Noah] Yeah.
- Okay. - [Noah] You got it.
- Okay. - [Noah] Okay.
- Okay. - [Olivia and Liam] Okay.
- Have you eaten?
- My spirit is sated,
but yes, I'm very hungry.
- [Liam] (laughing) Okay, good.
- This is amazing.
- We are his friends.
We have a responsibility to rescue him.
- We're gonna get so many years of material.
- That's no reason to let this happen.
- It's fine.
This'll go horribly, they'll never see each other again,
and things'll go back to normal.
- This is Liam, the chameleon Liam.
He's gonna disappear into another relationship
and become Olivia.
- See you guys after the concert.
See you guys after spin class.
See you guys after the magic show.
- It's one night.
You really think he's gonna choose her over us?
- Fine, fine.
But if this goes really badly, we gotta get him outta there.
- Come on (laughing).
- Sweater thing.
- This is a date.
You two should be sitting across from each other.
Olivia.
- Olivia, what are you up to?
- Oh, up to, sounds so sneaky.
I like to ask people what they're down with.
- Yes, what're you down with.
- Hey Felix, come on, let's let them have their date.
- Well, I'm focusing on vibes right now.
- Vibes, cool.
- What do you do?
Oh, hold on.
Let me divine.
- Yes (humming).
- I am seeing papers, numbers, precision, I have this.
- Edge of my seat, I'm on the edge of my seat.
- You work with people.
- Yes (laughing), yes.
We're all consultants.
- Oh, I'm a consultant too.
- What firm?
- I'm a spiritual consultant in my community.
- Of course you are (laughing).
- That sounds amazing.
- You'd be surprised at how off energies can get,
especially among close male friends.
- That makes so much sense. (laughing)
- Did you know that you could make a candle
out of the fat in human menses?
(spitting)
- Oh, nope, all right.
- Have you ever made a candle outta the fat in human--
- Felix, Felix, hey.
You know what, let's let them have their date.
You and me, we'll go to the bar and get a drink.
- How about a Bloody Mary?
- Real classy, Felix.
(laughing)
How about the roast chicken?
- Oh, I actually don't eat meat.
- Oh, that's admirable.
I'm trying to cut back as well.
- I don't judge.
I leave that to my judging totem.
- Oh, wow.
- I am just kidding.
I got this at Target (laughing).
How about the gnocci?
- I love gnocci.
- Perfect.
- I'm really down with potatoes (laughing).
- I cannot have our apartment filled with period candles.
- Have you read any reviews?
What have you heard?
Any new scents of the month?
- See, it's obvious that this is bad for Liam,
but what you don't understand is this is bad for you too.
You need Liam.
- I don't need Liam.
(romantic piano music)
- Clear on the right, clear on the right.
- Okay, three more seconds, two more seconds--
- No, no, not now.
- Now, now?
- Now, now.
- Get a sack, let's go, let's go.
Come on, man, what is going on?
- Ow, ow, ow, ow.
- I can't lose Liam.
- How's the gnocci?
- Responsible, sustainable.
That is a cool necklace.
- Oh, thank you.
It helps focus people's chakras during my Wiki sessions.
- Oh, can I see it?
- Mm-hmm.
- What does it do to people?
Am I supposed to feel something?
- No, not physically.
If it believe it makes you happier, it'll make you happier.
And it's like really cute (laughing).
(clearing throat)
- Liam, we're gonna head out.
- You know what, if you wanna go with your friends,
go with your friends.
I understand.
It was nice meeting you.
- [Noah] Come on, Liam, let's go home.
- [Cashier] Paper or plastic?
Paper or plastic?
Paper or plastic (distorted)?
- Actually, I think I'm gonna stay here with Olivia.
- [Noah and Felix] Oh.
(romantic trumpet music)
- [Olivia] How long have you lived with them?
(elevator dinging)
- Hey, hi.
- Hey.
- That smells really good.
- Oh, it's chicken piccata, stuffed shells, and orecchiette.
- Orecchiette.
You know that means "little ears"?
Hello, pasta (laughing).
- The reviews said these were the best.
- How did you know that you would like them?
- Because they're the best.
- Right.
(awkward elevator music)
(elevator dings)
- I like stuffed shells myself.
- Great.
(upbeat dupstep)