(Ned) I know that the other guys do not like my photos very much, so I'm not looking forward to this.
(Keith) Your Instagram does look like that of most teenage girls.
(Zach) Yeah, that's all I wanna be. (Keith) You know, you're crushing it.
(Ned) Can i just get one photo of you without having your shirt off?
(Ned) See even now? Even now you're doing it.
(Zach) He uses Instagram as if he has three followers and they're all his mom.
(Zach) *laughing* I don't understand
(Keith) Welcome to another episode of Try Guys Game Time.
(Keith) Today the Try Guys are roasting each other with all the social media they've been Posting on the internet.
(Zach) Why do you talk like that? (Eugene) I like it do it again, yay.
(emphasizing p) Posts.
(Keith) These are things from our Instagrams, from our Twitters
Anywhere on the internet that we've posted, we can comment on it and we can roast it.
(Keith) Try Guys Game Time, roast your soc' (ial media)
(Ned) Roast your soc'!
(Keith) Roast your soc'! (All) Try Guys Game Time!
(Ned) We haven't nailed it once.
(Intro music)
(Keith) I'm starting out in the hot seat, and let me tell ya, this butt is hawt.
(Keith) What do you guys have for me? *laughter*
(Zach) Keith is so unabashedly bad at social media.
Like, I think it's like, kind of something something he enjoys how shitty he is.
For someone who's job *is* social media.
(Ned) Everyone's always posting 'oh look at me next to this pool,' 'oh look how hot I am,'
'oh look at these cool clothes i'm wearing.' Keith, every single photo- *disturbing growl noise*
Every single photo! Like, he never hands the phone to someone else to, like, just take an actual photo,
It's always just weird angle selfie.
(Zach) Whereas the three of us are exclusively pains in the ass making each other take photos.
(Zach) So- (Ned) And by the three of us (Ned and Eugene) You mean you.
(Zach) Awh, girl no.
(Ned) So many of your photos are just you smashing shit in your face. [Eugene laughing]
Here's a Danish, here's a piece of fried chicken, here's two hotdogs!!
This one doesn't even have you in it! It's just a plate of your food!
(Zach) Maybe that's something you put on your story..maybe.
He is a relentless self-promoter.
Half of the reason Keith has Instagram is to tell you about some fucking show that is going on.
It's always the derpiest nut, like, what-wh-who
What! In what world is this photo gonna make someone wanna come see your show?
(Ned) What is this?! This was on Instagram.com/KeithHabs!
You have over 800, 000 followers, SIR.
(Keith) And they come for the content I deliver. (Ned) Oh, my god.
(Keith) Euuugene. You think you're so hot. Well i've pulled up some of the ugliest photos Eugene has ever taken.
Like this one. What's hot about this?
He's standing shirtless in front of a waterfall. Uglyy!
(Ned) It's always you with your shirt off and a weird object.
W-what is this? Me with my shirt off next to a cute animal.
This dog isn't even yours!
(Eugene) Oh yeah that was a photo shoot for a magazine and I, uh, found that dog in the lobby.
(Keith) Ew! In front of an exploded volcano? *nasty throwing up noise* yuck yuck yuck.
(Zach) There's a hilarious sub-section of Eugene's Instagram that's like
'Oh I'm ugly' and it's just him doing faces like *making weird noises*
(Ned) *imitating Eugene* Look at me I''m ugly even though you know me to be very beautiful
(Zach) I'm not hot, I'm approachable! (Ned) And they're all still really hot. (Zach) And they're still super hot.
(Ned) Eugene, you have an inability to let yourself not look hot in any photo.
(Keith) Let me show you one of the photos that's hot that you have taken. Boom.
That's right. Got a little Keith in the waist. [Eugene laughing]
Got a little smile on the face :)
(Zach) Eugene takes and steals my clothes and posts hot photos in them all the time.
My socks. Top comment? "Cool socks."
My shirt, my jacket.
(Keith) *to Eugene* They do look better on you. (Zach) Yeah they do look better on Eugene.
(Eugene) I don't have enough photos with dumb shit. [all laughing]
(Zach) I'd say good luck, I have a pretty good social media presence.
I think I'm killing the game.
(Keith) I only have one photo. It's the photo I hate more than any photo ever.
It's the one where you just finished having sex with your dog.
[laughter] It's very clear. You guys just had rockin' sex.
You might have sex right again after this photo. [all but Keith laughing]
The way he's looking at you, the way you look, like, you have that post-coital glow.
Did you roll on the fucking? Or was it just after the fucking was done?
(Eugene) You do have a tendency to pose, and pretend like you're not posing.
It's a very particular skill. (Zach) Uh-huh.
(Ned) *Imitating Zach* I'm posing to make it look effortless, yet it's very staged.
(Zach) Does it look effortless? (Ned) No. (Keith) Like this.
(Keith) It's like 'I'm not posing i'm just hanging out on top of a table, like a normal person. My legs are everywhere.
(Ned) I'm casually sitting against an open refrigerator in a junkyard.
(Eugene) Yeah usually it takes about 30 frames before you're happy.
(Zach) It takes a lot of photos to make this look good.
(Eugene) I'm Zach, you're you. (Keith) Okay.
(Eugene) Frame it this way, let me see that, okay? Now everyone stop what you're doing, just one second.
(Eugene) Okay, okay. (Zach) I don't make them stop what they're doing
(Ned) Guys can we go? (Eugene) Zach's go-to cuff adjustment.
(Eugene) Zach's go-to down on the knee, tie the shoe. (Zach) Yuup.
(Eugene) Here. (Zach) I never use that one. (Eugene) Yeah, I've seen it a couple times.
(Keith) I saw you do it last weekend at Palm Springs! (Zach) No, I know, I do it but I never post it cuz it looks dumb.
(Ned) The fucking ankles. It's all about his ankles. (Zach) Yeahhh. If you got 'em, flaunt 'em.
(Keith) Your photos bore me. They just look like LaurDIY's shitty photos that she wouldn't put up.
[Zach laughing] (Keith) Ya know? It looks like a real Instagrammer second choice photo.
(Keith) Ya know? You're just doing it for the 'Gram, I get it.
(Ned) Bring on the roasting!
(Zach) I definitely had the most fun doing Ned's.
(Eugene) If I might encapsulate Ned's social media, in one sentence.
Dad. Just. Discovers. Teen stuff.
(Ned) That's giving me more credit than I think I deserve.
(Eugene) Like, for example, there's this great Instagram photo of you. (Zach) Oh my god, what the hell is going on there?
(Eugene) And the caption is; 'When your friend is dating a fuckboy'
It's like a little late. (Zach) It's referencing something that's- (Eugene) Slightly late.
(Zach) It's funny that Eugene mentioned fuckboy, because this is the most fuckboy photo of all time. [Ned laughing]
The caption is 'snows out, bows out'. I guess you're referring to your elbows?
(Ned) Yeah. (Zach) Big love for Quinta, who wrote, 'What's happening here Ned'.
(Keith) I don't know if you notice Ned's style, I like to call it 'what Eugene was doing recently.'
*laughter* Uh, this is Ned in a pair of shorts overalls, because Eugene wears shorts overalls.
This is him in front of a waterfall with a straw hat, because Eugene *can* do this.
And looks amazing when he does it. Ned, even in the picture, is aware it's not working out.
*all laughing*
(Zach) Keith tweets like no one's watching. The most Keith tweet of all time is:
'Blah, blah, blah. Joke, joke, joke. Commentary'.
(Keith) That's what everyone's tweeting. They're trying to be so original with their fucking garbage joke with some commentary.
(Eugene) All of these photos also have the worst captions.
'Eating a hotdog in a Chicago suburb'.
Like, you just describe exactly what's in the photo.
(Ned) 'When you're waiting for your burrito. #burrito.'
[Eugene and Keith laughing]
(Eugene) The actual caption is, 'This is my mouth'. [Keith laughing]
You wanna know what the hashtag is?..Mouth.
*laughter* 'This is my mouth, #mouth'.
That's Keith's idea of content on his social media. (Zach) Wow.
(Zach) I feel like all these insults needs the caveat that no matter what I do, and no matter what he does
Keith still has way more followers than me. It makes no sense, he's so bad. Follow @korndiddy I'm giving you good content.
(Keith) You have more than me on Twitter. (Zach) On Twitter. (Keith) Yeah. (Zach) That's true.
(Keith) Cuz of your blah, blah blah. Joke, joke joke. Commentary.
[all laughing]
(Keith) There is a tweet that Mr. ''eUgEnE LeE yAnG'' sent out one time
And it's one of these tweets that he does every so often that it's just w-ww-what?
'Every single person believes, that one time while they were walking outside, they could talk to birds'.
This isn't even blah, blah, blah. Joke, joke, joke. Commentary. This is just blah, blah, blah.
(Eugene) It's true. You guys don't try to talk to birds sometimes? [other Try Guys] No!
(Keith) Most of your tweets, and most of your successful tweets, are just about family dynamics.
'What it's like to have a sister'.
(Ned) 'My mom's crazy'.
(Keith) 'My grandma says crazy stuff'.
Like, it is the most 'slice-of-life' content
(Zach) #SiblingProblems!!!!!!
(Keith) Also, in my little array, you have saw several outfits that Ned has tried to accomplish.
[all cracking up laughing]
(Keith) -in his Instagram
(Zach) I need to put my foot down and defend those of us in the world who are vision impaired because this. is not. a. fashion. accessory.
all of your photos is *imitating Eugene* 'Oh look I can't see, I have glasses, look how hot I am"
GET THESE FUCKING THINGS OFF YOUR FACE EUGENE!!
This is not here to make ya hot, it's here to help me and Keith not bump into shit when we're walking!
(Keith) For all of those people out there who want to wear glasses cuz you look cool, then you better start wearing glasses everyday from the age of 5.
Then you're allowed to do it.
(Zach) You haven't felt the struggle Eugene!
Ya can't just use it to look hot.
(Ned) Aight Zach, you're making fun of me for hopping on bandwagon. You are the *most* guilty of hopping on the bandwagon of things.
PUBG, Fortnite, Musical.ly, do you remember your musical.ly phase?!
(Eugene) Oh, I'm bringing it up. (Zach) Oh yeahh.
(Ned) Where- you just realized Musical.ly was popular, and tried to make...
*generic teen pop*
(Keith) *over music* This is worse than Instagram photos because this actually took real time out of our day because
he would ruin things. (Ned) It took you two hours to do.
(Keith) You can't even monetize this content!
(Keith) This is probably the tweet I hate the most from Zach.
It's this picture of you fucking your dog.
[All Try Guys Laughing]
(Keith) Cuz it wasn't enough to just put it on Instagram.
You needed to make sure that your smaller audience also saw it.
So I better put it here too because I really want people to know that I fuck my dog.
(Zach) Have you, uh, been to Bowie's Instagram, uh, recently?
(Keith) Why would I *ever* spend time on Bowie's Instagram?
(Zach) Woww. (Keith) I couldn't care less about a dog's social media presence. (Unless you're on the Barkschelor)
(Zach) I would say in general, Ned is occasionally guilty of wanting to tweet some things zeitgeist-y but having literally nothing to add to it
(Eugene) Sometimes I introduce my friends to some things. I taught them about a K-Pop group that I love, called Black Pink.
Ned, immediately sensed that Black Pink could be cool amongst the youngsters and tweets out 'BLACKPINK'.
Gets a lot of upvotes of people saying 'wowowowow Ned knows BLACKPINK' and then over the course of four days, tweets-
'I just want to run into a Starbucks, throw coloured dust into the air, and scream BLACKPINK'.
(Zach) Here's the thing people are talking about, I can talk about it too. (Keith) Oh! Blah, blah, blah. Joke, joke, joke. Commentary.
You have a tweet, this is the most basic white girl. You just wrote 'Why can't I drink pumpkin spice lattes year-round?'
That's how everyone makes *fun* of basic white girls. It's not even a *true* stereotype, and you actually *are* the stereotype.
Every reply is a young mom.
*laughter* (Ned) I legit love my PSL's year-round.
(Eugene) Ah, see well that-that's bad.
*all Try Guys (excluding Ned) oofing*
(Keith) I think he just is a young mom, and he's always been a young mom.
(Zach) Every now and then, you get a real gem that's real steamy. Like this photo, that I believe I took.
(Keith) Yeah that's where we were playing a game
(Zach) This one turns me on, I like it.
(Keith) It's a g-- its a Hot photo. (Zach) Yeah, it's a hot pic.
(Zach) For how little you care, when you do care, you really deliver.
(Keith) This is probably the best of all of ours.
(Eugene) Props to you Ned, because you've never had to double explain yourself, you never backtrack a joke. You post with confidence.
(Keith) Just go for it. (Eugene) You just go for it.
(Ned) BLACKPINK! (Eugene) Exactly.
(Eugene) You know, you maintain an aesthetic that sometimes has an irony that I appreciate.
Like, I like this one. I think it's super dope. (Everyone) That was good.
(Keith) It's funny. (Eugene) It's beautiful and it's also funny.
(Keith) We're jealous of your hotness, we're jealous of your aesthetic, we're jealous of your love, and you're jealous of my indifference.
*laughter* (Everyone) Yeah. (Eugene) That's true.
Together, we would be..Chris Pratt.
(Everyone agrees)
(Keith and Zach and Ned and Bean) YEAH
*Outro music plays*
(Ned) I will say you have a very distinct aesthetic. (Eugene) But when you're nailing your dog I'm not behind it. (Ned) No.
(Keith) He's behind it tho! AYY [Bean barks offscreen]