a=po"During the night, hundreds of American and British aircraft have mounted attacks on targets in Iraq-"
"Hang on you guys!"
(Grunts)
"I'll get you out of there!"
"I can't see!"
"Dreams of holding the Soviet Union together may have received a death blow today."
"Genesis, Does" 3x
It's hard to believe there was a time when
Mario vs Sonic was a legitimate argument,
but when Sonic first came out onto the Genesis,
He pretty much single-handedly
overthrew Nintendo's monopoly on the video game industry.
And this can be chalked up to,
you know, great marketing by Sega,
and the fact that these games were fuckin' badass.
Then...
Mario makes the jump to 3D.
And it's like:
*crowd cheers*
God Damn! Okay,
this is how video games are made now.
"You know, it's not even Halloween yet,"
"but millions of kids already know what they want for Christmas,"
"A new video game system called..."
"Nintendo 64."
Two years later...
Sonic goes 3D.
Here he comes:
*Backflop, followed by crowd's disappointed gasps*
Sonic Adventu-
This game is fucked.
The levels are barely functional,
And the animations makes Mass Effect look like
fucking Pixar
[Childish voice] "What happened to that emerald we just had?"
(awkward silence followed by mechanic shrug)
An employee card!
I can use this to get into that building!
What... what building?
What do you--
Don't worry, guys,
the circle will tell me what to do.
Oh, no I didn't try yet!
Oh, thank you so much man, wow-
Sonic would continue to fumble around in 3D
until Sega just said:
"Fuck it." - Sega, 2006
Loading screen video game.
No wait-
How about we pretend to be an actual game,
Right?
But then, NOPE --
fuck you,
it's a 3D brawler
that runs at 3 frames per second.
After years of buggy, unfinished disasters,
Sonic's reputation pretty much flatlined.
He went from up here
to down here,
with fucking Croc.
And people started to forget,
That golden era
"Sonic was never good."
(buzzer)
"It just never was that great."
(buzzer)
"They all want to have sex with Big the Cat!"
...
(Ding!)
Sonic Mania is a lightning bolt reminder
that before this,
Sonic was the Man.
It is unbelievable how effectively they've captured the spirit of the originals,
While subtly injecting their own ideas,
into these classic stages.
Once again,
Momentum plays a huge role
Not in just how Sonic moves
But in the general pace of the game.
When you're building a rollercoaster
You don't just build a big circle out of metal and call it a day, you know,
You gotta build up enough speed
..to shoot someone through that loop.
AAAAAHHHH
But then you gotta reel back in,
Okay, okay, slow it down.
Slow it do-
EEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUWWWW
WAAAAAHHHHH
You're constantly building towards that 100 rings
So that you can get an extra life.
And you come to these intense moments when you're at 93 rings,
You're right there at the finish line!
now- PAA
aaaand
say goodbye to everything, you stupid dumbass.
Mania has this enthralling sense of progression.
Each zone is magnificently brought to life with
Ultra detailed sprite work.
Just look at how animated this shit is, Jesus Christ!
Yet, the game never dwells on it.
It moves you along at such a brisk pace.
Each zone is only 2 acts,
each act with their own song,
and then "Boom", next zone.
It's constantly hitting you with new imagery,
New music, new mechanics,
Levels has these huge branching and intertwining paths that really bolster their replayability.
and the game is more than happy to reward you for investigating each path.
Look at Hydrocity Zone.
Depending on which way you go this could be
A fucking water level
Or you could be up here,
Living it up with the big boys.
You can now jump into a spindash,
Which can be extremely useful,
Old powerups, take on this new level of interactivity,
They even brought back this stupid ass shit!
Let me show you guys how to play this real quick-
And for the first time in Sonic history,
An actual fun bonus stage!
My only gripe with this game is how much of its identity is owed to its predecessors.
There are 12 zones, which splits into thirds of,
you know, remixed levels from the originals,
dramatically overhauled levels, and the brand-new stuff,
which is so good that you go,
"Goddamn...
..I just wish this whole game was new levels."
On the flip side, you get possibly the most consistent Sonic game to date.
There are no low points here, even with the inclusion of some oddball stuff.
Lava Reef Zone? What the fuck guys?
Why would you put in Lava...
That level was awesome.
There are tons of surprises and winks in here for a long-time fan:
sometimes you'll see mechanics from stages that aren't even featured pop up.
There is a boss fight in here, that I am not going to spoil now,
But after you play the game, you'll KNOW what I'm talking about.
And let me say:
"Dam(n)." - McDunkle, 2017
Sonic Mania is a game made by fans,
But it is not a fan game.
It is a victory for anyone who loves video games.
It's a game that once you beat it, you go--
"Alright. Let's go beat it again." - Dunk Funk, 2017
and that's exactly what I did.
[Victory jingle]
~ITSA MASTAPEECE~
[Smooth jazz]