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When people try to improve their weight or improve their health, usually the first go-to approach is
to diet to restrict what they eat. But the most common outcome from dieting is, in the long run,
actually weight gain. Now, diets don't work the vast majority of the time. And, you know,
there's a lot of reasons for this, including they put you at war with food, they put you at war with
your own body. But one of the main reasons for this is that people are eating for reasons other
than hunger. Your body has an inherent ability to regulate your eating based on the nutrients your
body needs. It helps you regulate this with hunger and fullness cues and with craving foods that
include the nutrients you need to be healthy. Now, intuitive eating helps people let go of a diet
mentality and develop a positive relationship with food and their body and their selves and reject
diet culture and these rigid, external rules about good foods or bad foods. And intuitive
eating has also been shown to help people recover from disordered eating and reach a healthier BMI.
But most of the time when we're overeating or undereating it's because we're seeking to regulate
our emotions with food instead of regulating our emotions by processing them. So the first step
when you're struggling with emotional eating is to ask yourself, "Why am I eating this?" A lot of
times people just really hyperfocus on, "What am I eating? How much am I eating? How many calories?
What about my macros?" All of these things, right? And instead, ask yourself, "Why did I choose to
eat this?" You don't need to judge yourself for doing it; just get curious. Right? If I'm eating
and it's not because of hunger, what am I feeling? Let me give you a few examples if you're not sure.
If you're feeling bored or restless or aimless you may seek an exciting or flavorful or novel food
as a way to regulate that boredom, to replace it with excitement. Have you ever struggled through
writing a research paper? Bring on the crunchy snacks. Right? If you're feeling aimless in life,
check out the exciting new restaurant. Now, if you're feeling sadness or pain you may
seek to feel happy through pleasurable foods. Like, check out how many food advertisements
have "happy" as their emotion word. Like, look at a Happy Meal or "This feels good"
or Coca-Cola ads. Right? And while foods can bring happiness to one area of your life - like,
food is awesome; that's okay - they can't bring this well-rounded, sustaining sense of joy that
a purpose-driven life can bring. Okay. Let's look at another reason why people might be engaging
in emotional eating. Okay. Food and feasting has long been a way for people to connect, to gather,
to share a meal and a conversation. So if you're feeling lonely, you may reach for food as a way
to trigger those feelings of connection. Okay. Another another reason is if you're feeling numb,
if you're feeling empty or depleted, you may seek food to feel full or just to feel anything at all.
Now, if you're feeling tired you may eat to get a burst of energy. But eating sugary or carby snacks
may leave you on a blood-sugar rollercoaster, and being tired is actually one of the biggest
contributors to overeating. Okay. How about this one: if you're feeling angry you may eat quickly,
or you may eat crunchy, spicy, or otherwise intense foods to express
that anger. Or you might suppress that anger with something tasty. Now, here's another one:
food has long been used to soothe grief. In Utah we have a potato casserole, it's full of delicious
cheeses and cream cheese and corn flakes and sour cream and salt and butter, and we call it
funeral potatoes because it's always at Mormon funerals, and it's delicious and comforting.
So if you find yourself eating for emotional reasons, what do you do? Like does that mean you
can't eat comfort food at funerals or you can't eat snacks with friends when you're lonely? Like,
of course you can. Of course you can eat for other reasons than just hunger. Right? The goal, instead
of just being like, "Oh, stop that," right, is to bring awareness to what you're eating and why.
Like, that's the cool thing about emotions, right? A lot of time they just need to be validated. So
if you're feeling super angry and you catch yourself reaching for a bag of pretzels, just
pause for a moment and check in with your body and see why you're grabbing those pretzels. Notice
and name the emotions. Sometimes that's enough. But then the second step is to solve emotional
problems with emotional solutions. So for example, if you're bored you could eat something exciting.
And that's okay. You can, you can give yourself permission to eat. Usually just restricting
eating isn't going to solve your problems. But going back to that, right, just acknowledge that
eating won't really resolve boredom for you in the long run. So if you take a moment to notice
that you're feeling bored and sit with that for a second and then consider what might make your life
more interesting or exciting or purposeful, you might make the time for an activity that will be
much more fulfilling, like playing pickleball with friends or starting a new hobby or doing
some service at the local food bank. Okay. So for another example, right, if you're lonely,
reach out for a friend, not just the ice cream. If you're tired consider going to bed early that
night. If you're sad look for some good you can do in the world or just acknowledge the sadness. You
could talk with a friend about it or journal about your feelings. Uh if you're feeling stressed, do
some relaxation exercises or set some boundaries at work. Right? Take some action to resolve the
stress instead of just covering it up with another feeling. Now, to be fair, working through emotions
is not just a one-step process. It takes time and energy and effort. But you can learn the
skills to do it. Now, if you want to take a much more in-depth approach to learning how to create
emotional solutions for emotional problems, like feel free to check out my Emotion Processing
course. Uh the link is in the description. Now, when you make space for your feelings and your
physical sensations, you can develop a healthier relationship with food and with your body,
and you'll not only improve your physical health but you'll also improve your emotional
health. So I hope this helps you get better at feeling. Thank you for watching, and take care.
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