*WHA-POOSH*
TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES!
MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE,
and WELCOME BACK to Sniper Elite 4!! (yay)
We're movin' on to the next level,
the last one ı ABSOLUTEY..
DECIMATED!
everybody in the whole area...*character talking:better see if ı can locate the partisan HQ*
could'ja SHUT UP!
ım trying to talk to my PEOPLE..
I dont CARE if you want to find the PARMESAN HQ!
It's all about killin' people!
..right now
OOOOoohhh there's a dude ,up there!
Are you peeing?
*bush rustle*
You better not be peeing!!
okay.. Imma sneak over SHH!!
shhhSSHHHHHHH!!! (okay geez Jack o_o)
This is STEALTH!
This is SECRETS!
*character talks:wait a noise*
you heard nothin' you heard NOTHin' YOU HEARD NOTHIN'!
OOOH!
oouuhhh-
AHH
fffFUCK YOU DUDE!
OW ow OW ow OWW!
AAOOWW Jesus Christ
he punched me in the face!
NEVER BRING FISTS TO A KNIFE FIGHT!
Oh God, OH GOD Big Boat!
Big Boat! OOOOH GOD
Big boat..
Big boat! *Okay Jack we get it, you like big boats!*
AAAHMM...
BOOM!
:O
OOOH the payoff is worth it!
Thought you were goin' to give me
a serious case of Blue Balls
there for a second good Lord!
YEEEAH!!!
Du-Who needs stealth?
Who needs to sneak? I was tellin you guys to shut up
but you've done a great service to me today.
Uh oh. UH OH. AHH umm-
m HAHA! :P
Haha.. (laughs in between)LESSON NUMBER 7
Ah.. Snipers' biggest weakness: Water.
Dum dum dum dum...
You gotta get REAL close..
you gotah rea- *sniff* Wha's tha?
*sniff* Ha *SNIFF*
Is that Calvin Klein?
*Jack imitating Santa?*
oooh god...
Right in his fuckin' neck-hole!
*chuckle*
Well,
At least we know youwon'tbe- you won't be
using your mouth to eat anymore
That's what I like to do
I like to create service(?) entrances
to make eating easier.
Just a shortcut:
why put stuff in your mouth and chew it when you just inject it straight down your neck?
OOOOH there's another sniper, is there?
Oh, well, we will see.
Who.
Sniper.
Will outsnipe, the Sniper?
;) ;) ;) ;)
It's me. *Anti? :o*
Oh yes, the game is on!
The game is A FOOT!
MR. HOLMES!
OH Through his fucking SCOPE!
YEAAAAAAH!
Oh, that's exactly what I wanted to do!
That was AWESOME!!
OOOOOH PERFECT!
Ni-h-h-hice!
It was like the perfect sniper shot that everybody wanted to see,
We call that 'The Saving-Private-Ryne(?)'
HELLO, SIR!
DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR HEARING AIDS?
DHEY'RE VERY GOOD, THEY PENETRATE YOUR HEAD!
nnnnmmmLllllllllllllllllloveLY Juvly!
Who wants to have brains for dinner?
Me do! Me do, it's me Jack!
Oh god..
m'all fokin' giddy!
This is so much fun!
*character speaks*: We're there's a church, is probably a graveyard.
great deduction skills, and where THERE'S SMOKE, there's FIRE!
LESSON NUMBER 12... of being a sniper:
Scan your area, scan super fast like superman would *INSERT SANIC*
make yourself super dizzy, and then you'll get all the-deuh... *vomits*
I'm fine........ I'm fine..... Just-
Just give me a minute! 🤢
'Scuse me sir, how fond of you are your testicles?
Not very. OKAY! *laughs*
Let's take em' both!
Eeuoooh!
The GREAT testicle Bandito of The West has struck again!
AWAY wit' cha! Off we go!
You have to be like the meerkat, you gotta,
like,
pop up and down.
Pop up and down, to get your..
get your enemies.
*BOO!*
*honk noise*
*hides again*
Tha-that's more like a goose...
but, little do people know..
MEERKATS sound like GEESE!
Everyone thinks meerkats are super cute
but when you hear them its like, *honk*
*Honk* :P
*wipes sweat* True story.
Science- science facts with Jack. 👍
Science sniper facts wit-...
ON we go!
oohhhhhh...no, no you don't see me. SHUT UP!
he-Hello?! huehe.. He's like: "Who's dat?"
"Who's that over ther'? Is'tha Jimmy's boi?
"STEVEN. Is that chew?!"
He's like, "no!" "..."
"Wrong person!"
But, ee.. seriously though could you go back and like stand near the explosive thing?
Here we go, it's about ta happen!
IT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN Y'ALL!
GET READY FOR IT!
Oh, he's actually just inspecting it straight up in his face!
WOAH!
Breathe deep!
*disgusted laughter, followed by: siith!* Oh, Jesus!
ooh I love the smell of burning hair in the mornin'!
Oh here we go, "Enemy Searching"
*buhbam*
SEARCH NO MORE FELLAS I have come to you with GOOD TIDINGS & JOY!
*tink*
Oh, right in your boober! ehoo-huh
FUCK YEAHHHH!
See, never go to bed, without extinguishing your SNIPER RIFLES FIRST!
You didn't die and that makes me sad. :'(
OOOOH, Listen up!
Ah, sorry you can't anymore, cause youvenoface!
COVER BLOWN?!
HOW did they not know that I was that Hispanic woman is disguise?!
TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!
*Orca Jack?*
Oh, point blank(?) he didn't deserve that...
He was a nice man, doing a good job, tending to his family
And...
getting money for his kids to go to Spanish college
He didn't deserve that.
But he did walk in on me, with my gun loaded, so..
maybe he did.
Hello Sir!
Do you have any wine at this fine establishment?
0_0
*I won't bother translating that weird noise :P*
WOO!
All good snipers are our orthadontists (WHAT?) at the same time.
I mean, you can't make all your money snipin'... its just not a reliable career
there's only so many people you can kill
Like, fucking George Clooney up here,
0_o
DAT DIDN'T HIT TESTICLE??
What?! You gotta loo-You look like you have a bit of tennis elbow there goin' on.
*SANIC*
0_o
Oh, very nice!
Very-el We can that the 'Kick Back'.
The kick back from Jack! *excessive self-idoling? xD idk, jk!*
Very powerful move
very underrated in the...
the NSC
-- National Snipers... Community. *lolz*
Why am I shootin' statues?
*intense moment?*
-wtf?-Okay, take THAT you fokin' piece of concrete!
nnNNOBODY takes a shot from Jack and walks away...
N O B O D Y ! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
how fuckin' dare you? OOOH... I'm sorry,
did you NEED that kidney?
What were you going to do, DRINK with it?!
*panting dog Jack*
oh, Oh, OH, AWWW I COULDA GOT DE DOUBLE!!
WHY ARE YOU DENYING ME GREAT THINGS IN MY LIFE?
-tic-
Motherfuckers...
FINE. You're just gonna die, NOT A NOBLE'S MAN'S DEATH,
or anything like that, no-
just a regular ole'.. bullet, through the head...
How fuckin BORING and MUNDANE!
Ooh-
Hello friend! :D
Would you like, to get shot in the balls? *Kazoo kid?*
I think so! :3
C'MON DOWN! To BALLS'r'US!
Where you can get-
OOooH? 0_o
That was just straight through your intestines.
"Intestine Shot"
Well, at least we know what he had for dinner! *Oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick >~<*
Oh yes! Oh yes! OH YES! Oh NoO!
Ooooh, I've never had something go from a fuckin' hundred to a zero so fast!
IT WAS GOING SO WELL!
See, it was just you, me, that other guy, we came out for dinner that night..
And NO! Everything turned to shhit!
We could've had a double kill...
We could've had-
A GREAT RELATIONSHIP!
But SOMEBODY has to PISS in the stew and make it all bad!
'S goin' on dudes? :)
He-HE'S OVER THERE!
Go!
GO SEARCH FROM OVER THERE!
🎵Over there, Over there, send the word, sen-🎵
HOW.. THA FUCK DIDJU DODGE THAT?
Well, I'M SORRY!
*Booty shot*
BUT YOU ARE GE-heeeeh he-Hah!
I actually hit him in the balls, I thought I was gonna hit him in the booter-hole.
Ooohkay!
Down we go!
Every good sniper,
should know when to drop and break his legs
in a moment of TRUTH!
OOWw :'(
As he looked into the man's eyes he thought: "Should I do it?"
Fuck yeah 😎
Man, I really don't like kidneys do I?
If you guys don' mind' I'm gonna take a littl' bath! :3
Splish, splash, I was takin' a baaath~
Blub blub blubblum-
splish, splash, I- bluB BLUO-ooururugrgrgrBARrrGHGgGgB
HEY DUDE! Have you've seen the new Star Wars movie?
Do u-Do you wanna go watch it with me?
Eup-duep
IEEYYY WAS OFFERING YOU A NICE INVATATIONAL!
What you had to do?
Shoot me in the fookin' back...
Ooh! We got the "Sniper's Report"!
Hmm...
This isn't a fucking "Sniper's Report"!
This is just his order from Domino's!
A burger and a bag e' chips!
THIS is.. FUCKING USELESS to us!
Are ye guys the badness?
Oh, you're definitely ti a fuckin badness
You look like, if-ssuh a fetus had a baby with a potato.
*dat face though*
Okay, just for that, you're gonna have to die.
I'm sorry! (not)
*called it! :D* Not really.
Oh right in your hip!
OH! Are you going to bleed out?
Oh... don't you fucking try-DON'T YOU-
DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND SAVE HIM!
HE'S MY KILL!!!
HAAAH!
Take that!
Right in the lung!
I guess you could say I leave you a bit breathless!
*Way to go jack! Love the puns! <3 sorry not sorry ^-^*
And lifeless, but that's not as funny its-
It's near Valentine's Day, STFU! :P
Ahh, here we have the three amigos...
The Three Musketeers!
Dead the way they lived!
Lifeless!
And dead behind the eyes!
Who shootin' at meh?
DUDE!
IF you.. were ANY good...
You'd have me killed by now.
but NOOO.
SOMEbody has to be
a LITTLE bit..
FUCKING STUPID!
*orgasm? o_o*
I can see right through ye, like a..
pbbf...f-fuckin' BOOK.
*realizes foolishness* You can't see through a book
you can read him like a book...
DAMN IT ALL! *me too*
How have you guys not seen me?
OOOWWWWW!
'KAY I FUCKING TAKE IT BACK!
Get Ready For..
The..
PAIN! >:3
OHH YES!
Right in the fuckin' heart!
I need more of those!
I NEED MORE HEARTS!
Man... IT'S BECAUSE I'M HEARTLESS!
*I give you some <3 <3 <3 :3 Happy V-Day!*
I have, I have nothin' in me.. *aww :(*
Maybe you guys can help me out and lend me one of yours! *Fangirls... here's your chance!*
Maybe if I stop fuckin' shootin them them would. *+1 Logic point! xD*
So uh..
Listen,
FRIENDS
Soldier bros-Can I call you best friends?
Can I call ya best bu-What's the sitch? *?*
What's the sitch on the whole like, coming over fer-for dinner?
'Cause in-in MY book, it was good..
I mean, I came over, I farted on your cactus..
and everybody was havin' a good time
*inhale*
But I'm getting some mixed signals now..
from people...
It kinda seems like you don't want me around.. :(
And I don't know if its just me, or if that's how
you really feel...
Eh, I don't think they like me. :/
Just tryin' to get clarification
I don't know if I got a clear answer out of you guys yet,
well, that guy's not gonna be talking.
De-He was always a bit of a bitch anyway.
Ahm..
Euuh, Steven!
H-How'zit goin'?
You've always been realiable
you've always gave me a clear answer...
YES OR NO ON THE DINNERINO STEVE?
Okay, well, if I'm not allowed to eat dinner with you
you're not allowed to eat dinner
ever
again.
Hurt Steve.
HUURRT!
Hold on a second!
Were you guys havin' dinner already?!
...without me? :'(
I am seein' a lot of mac'n'cheese crates
And a lotta of wine.. YOU
KNOW HOW I LOVE WINE &
MAC'N'CHEESE!!
I thought you guys just changed your numbers,
or I didn't have your new information,
se bu-SACKS OF SPUDS, REALLY?!?!
That's my FAVORITE Steve!
...
but no...
turns out, you just didn't want to talk.
Well, you know what Steve?
I'm ENDING THIS FRIENDSHIP!
There ya go fellas!
That's how I feel about fucking mac'n'cheese night!
Yeah!
We used to call it MAC'N'STEVE!
*I cri erytime :'(* But s'all fuckin' changed now isn't it?
*...*
Yeah, YEAH, OVER AND OUT!
OVER AND OUT BU-Yeeaaah...
this guy, he fucking knows how to..
how to get those one-liners!
Fuck, I wish I though of that one.. *props to Steve on that, sorry Jack :/ Your still better in the long run tho!*
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY:
DINNER SERVED!
yeeeeah,
Dat's a good one, that's a-
write that one down!
Write it down! Okay,
there's no time!
PEN AND PAD I have to put that on my to-do list!
Wait, what will I write my to-do list on..
if I don't have a pen and pad..?
*phone, whiteboard?*
Hey, C'MON up!
We're havin' a great time up here!
I went off mac'n'cheese, I'm more of a beans man now
C'mon..
c'mon-There ya go!
Yeah,
take that you sons of bitches!
Keep that in mind...
NEVER
Not invite Jack!
for Mac'n'cheese night!
We used to call it... Um, uh
Jack&Steve night!
Ididn'tThinkUpWithThatJustNowBecauseImSad'Cause I LostMyFriendSteve
WHAT are you lookin' at ferret face?!
NOTHIN'!
Heh heh heh...
I'm not OVER THERE MOTHAFUCKER!
I'm
RIGHT..
HERE!
🎵You leave me breathless🎵
🎵You're everything good in my life🎵
Didja see what I just did to that guy back there?
Ripped his heart in half!
His heart exploded in his chest!
That's how I felt.. WHEN YOU GUYS DID THINGS WITHOUT ME!
LESSON NUMBER 22 of being a sniper:
Cover yourself in the blood of your enemies!
That way you will gain their courage!
And also spite them in the afterlife.
You smell that?
*sniffsniff*
I
SMELL
testicles..
Who is it?
THEY DON'T CALL ME THE GREAT
BALL SNIFFER FOR NOTHIN'!
I can sniff out a SINGLE testicle
within...
a MILIMETER over a 14 square-mile RADIUS!
I FUCKIN KNOW YOU'RE HERE
There they are!
THERE THEY ARE!
OOOH fuckin' got them!
Put your BALLS in a vise and SQUEEZE them until you tell me who's Judy!
Does anyone know where I can find the nearest Tesco?
Hey, HEY!
Who's shootin' me?!
Tesco? No?
I wanna go get my own mac'n'cheese!
You're fuckin' useless.
DONDE ESTA LOS TESCO?
a-Am I- Am I saying that right?
Sir?
I know, he's not giving me a straight answer...
OOOOHhoohoohoo...
Ye have- You have a hole in your heart
I'd get that checked out.. HAHA!
Ow ow ow ow Ow ow...ow!
Did I just shoot through a dude, not kill him,
hit TNT behind him which killed him?
THAT WAS AWESOME!
I thought I just got a really good shot the first time-
OOOOOWW?!
Who's behind me?!
WHO GETS TO SNEAK ON JACK?!
Who gets the back attack? The back a' Jack?
The back OF JACK, Back a' Jack..
k-KEEP UP!! *nice pun tho*
Hello chums! My name's Jack
I'mmm here to help you guys out!
Thanks fer not shootin' me!
That's why iiiii help!
Everybody else shoots me, and leaves me on alone on a
Saturday night...
'S called Saturday Night at the Movies
not Saturday Night Alone..
AT HOME
IN THE BATHTUB
eatin' icecream CRYING TO YOURSELF!
D-X
Forgive me, for I have sinned..
I have killed, 469 people
Today...
Not just in gen-just today!
It's been, I mean- It's been a pretty great week...
But in terms for sins and everything,
.....pretty bad...
Sorry. :/
Oh welp, here I go killin' again!
I just LOVE killin'! :) *o_o*
Fellas...
*trying to not cry*
It was a joy to work with ye!
Will you be my new best friends?
Ki-and we can come over to house to have
Spaghetti bolognaise night (I fixed da subs)
Yeah?
It sounds, it sounds good buddy!
See ya later Pablo,
Tito,
Uhh...
uh Jeremiah.
eth-Bye guys!
Bye new best friends!!
-sniff- I love those guys. :'(
Is that a SHOTGUN?!
ooooooooh!
ooooh I wanna use this bad boy!
OH PLEASE
Ooh Jack like shotty!
Ooh Jack like shotty very much!
Bad guy?
WHA THE FUCK-"Grenade Shot?!"
Oh! It shot a grenade that was on him.
Now let's do that again!
Bad guy?
OoAhhh.
FOUND YOU! ;3
Ohh, another "Grenade Shot!" *laughing*
'Kay there might be a loud... 'bang'...
Everybody cover your ears...
Hold on,
get under-FUCKIIN' JEYSUS AHHH!
And with that, we have the end of Jack's journey today...
in Sniper Elite 4,
thank you all for being here, on my.. magical quest
through the kingdom, and killing everybody!
Was fun, this game was Awesome!
I really like it, and I like that
you can just go, balls to the wall, 'n you can just run in and
shoot everybody with shotguns..
or, you can sneak up and stab them..
or you can shoot them long range with a sniper rifle,
Lots of opportunities for murder and death.
It's really great! Haha!
But anyway...
THANK YOU GUYS, so much for watching this episode
IF YOU LIKED IT, PUNCH THE LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE...
LIKE A BOSS!!!!
AND!
High fives all around
*WOH PEESH* *WOH PEESH*
THANK YOU GUYS, AND I'LL SEE ALL YOU DUDES...............................
IN THE NEXT VIDEOOOOOOOO!
Outro song by "Teknoaxe". "I'm everywhere"
*Portal 2 vid*
Really hope those new soldiers ask me out....
next week...
I really want them to.