- You kind of look like, like somebody just lightly placed
your hair on top of your head.
(people laughing)
(upbeat music)
(school bell rings)
[Narrator] - This is "Crack Me Up,"
the show where two comedians battle
to see who has the best jokes in the schoolyard.
The goal is to make whoever's in the hot seat
laugh the most.
The catch is, the Hot Seat will try their hardest
not to crack.
Round one is a tit-for -tat style speed round.
The comedians will have 90 seconds to go joke-for-joke,
each laugh gets a point, most points wins the round.
Got it? Let's go.
- Breaking, breaking news, yes, I'm out here at Pride Week
at the LGBT parade, and we have the center
from the Washington Wizards, Dwight Howard.
How are you?
(women laughing)
(bleep)
- Uncanny.
(mumbling)
- Huh? Ah! Ah!
- Don't have nothin'
(laughs)
- I'm tryna find it.
- Ah this is funny.
- Ah? No!
- False alarm.
- Breaking news, breaking news
the wait is over the wait is over we have found him,
we have found him.
The guy, he has been missing
yes we have found him Charlie Clips.
He was too big to fit on a milk carton so
we had his picture on the whole cow, but we found him.
(laughs)
- This is stupid.
- No bull...
- We've now found the smurf's last weave
hanging out on top of...this ones head-hair.
- We also found the smurf
(laughs)
- Hold on.
All right fine forget it.
Oh my god, breaking news.
That same person that we found we actually
found his yearbook picture but he was so big we had to
put it on two pages.
- Charlie Clips here he is.
(bell rings)
[Narrator]- Round two is a tit-for-tat style speed round
each laugh gets a point, most points wins the round.
- Hmm, where do I know you from?
- It's-it's I got it every-and I don't forget a face.
When I was a substitute teacher I remember
you were my student.
I'm the one that gave you the D.
(laughs)
- She laughed.
- That was smooth, that was smooth.
- Man, where I know you from?
- I don't know, tell me.
- Oh, I was watching this infomercial late night,
you was the before picture.
(laughs)
- I got it hold on, where do I know you from.
'cause I know most of us are here, we have Timon,
Pumba, the hyena, Rafiki!
Rafiki from Lion King, that's what it is.
That's what I remember.
Now I remember, I don't forget.
Wasn't you the tethered daughter in "Us."
- Yo.
(laughs)
- From the previews, actually that's funny.
- That's actually a good one.
- You (bleep)
- I know it's somewhere, I think he had a show
with Joe Button.
(laughs)
D.J. Academic, that's who it is, I knew I knew you.
(laughs)
- Yeah yeah, you was on the poster in the baby Gap store
I seen you.
- Where do I know you from?
- Don't go there.
[Narrator]- the third and final round is called Word Play.
In this round each comedian will riff off the words
they pull from the hat.
Most laughs not only win the round, but the game.
- Booty meat, something I don't
think you've got too much of back there.
- Oh, my word is gym.
(laughs)
something Charlie has not seen in a very long time.
- But me and your mother going to work out just fine.
- That's fine.
- Read; Floyd Mayweather doesn't do this.
- That was great.
- Boo.
- Oh she boo'd.
- And we ain't even do that, (bleep).
- Wobbly, every time Charlie Clips walk he's wobbly.
- You know what else is wobbly?
That joke, get you ass over there.
[Narrator]- round three ended in a tie, so that means
we're hitting a bonus round with roast.
You know, you kind of look like-like somebody
just lightly placed your hair on top of your head.
(laughs)
- Ah, that was a good one.
- Your eyelashes look like they weigh a few pounds,
like if you-you bat them hard enough,
you'll lift Conceited out this room.
(laughs)
- Don't hold your laugh, hater.
- You got to laugh.
- What them boots do?
- He say "what them boots do?"
- Them steel-toe?
(laughs)
- Damn, them big ass shoes that look like the bullet
on the Mario stage.
- They do.
- Those color of Jordan's match the same color of
all the strap on's you have in your house.
- I'm going to tell you the funniest thing.
- You, look like you actually know the recipe
to what the Rock was cookin'.
(laughs)
(bell rings)
- Lets go, taking Charlie Clips' mother out tonight baby.
[Narrator]- and the winner is...Rome.
- Yes, you can't take my mother nowhere.
(laughs)
You can't take my mother nowhere.
Talk to 'em boy, you know what's up.
- You came through.
- You know, your growth is stunted.
It's a'ight though, you know what I'm saying?
(laughs)
- The fix is in, but I'm still taking Charlie Clips'
mother out, and you all all invited so we out.
Let's go baby.
- It's on you?