To people living outside of Asia, Japan can often seem like a bit of an effort to actually get to
After all a 3 week trip to Japan for a family of four could probably bankrupt a sultan
So it's the case of many people who want to come to Japan, but they just need that final push to get here
So today I want to give you 5 reasons to come to Japan
And who knows sometime in the near future your pale jet-lagged face may pass through the gates here
at Narita Airport
Let's Vitamin!
Japanese Marketing is something I often feel is overlooked
Because regardless of whether it's Tv Commercials, products or billboards
They offer a great insight into the Japanese way of thinking
and surround every minute of every day of your time in Japan
After all, having just arrived in Tokyo and strained your neck
looking after billions of billboards dotted across the Tokyo skyline
You'll stumble down a street and have your ears assaulted by more commercials
And then you will crash out in your Hotel room
switch on the TV and be confronted by an advert
for a USB stick with superior lighter functionality
Now drugs are very much illegal in Japan
But to be honest, commercials like this more than make up for that
This feeling of positivity that Japanese marketing sprays out
like a utopian fountain
Just the other day I went to the convenient store to buy some Red Bull
and just some salted potato chips and came back
with a can of Samuride
and a pack of Happy Happy Chicken Potato Chips
Literally pronounced in Japanese, Happy Chicken
Now in the UK we don't have Happy Chicken flavored Potato Chips
We don't have Happy Chicken flavored at all
We just have Chicken Flavor
Ambiguous Chicken
But I feel happy that before the chicken met its demise
it was nonetheless a Happy Chicken
and so I feel good about myself when I eat them
But because most products in Japan have some English written on them
Even though they are marketed to the 98% of the population who are Japanese
many of whom don't speak English
You get a neverending supply of fantasticly named products
For example Pocari Sweat, the energy sports drink
or the Green Tea called The Pungency
But this extends to bands as well
who use English because they think it sounds cool
After all just the other day I walked past a poster for a rap concert
being headlined by Trailers Trash
and with supporting acts from High-Bridge
and Brownshit
I'll probably avoid that album artwork
It's not something you want to see
Karaoke probably doesn't require an introduction
if you're one of these people who dream of
singing in front of drunken cheering Japanese salarymen
Then your dreams are absolutely achievable
And if like me you're interested in either 80's music or linguistics
you'll find unique interpretations of English songs can actually lead to the discovery
of new languages and new dialects
And if you listen really closely you can sometimes hear conspiracy theories about Lebanon
But they provide the perfect atmosphere for the culmination of a drunken night out
The only thing you need to be careful of
is who you take with you. Otherwise, this happens:
Now in most parts of the world
to sing at this level would be considered a crime agaisnt humanity
but in Japan, everybody sings, everybody gets involved
and everybody has fun, unfortunately
So if you are in Japan even just for a few days you can have a good time
with friends or random people at Karaoke
and if you are in a Major city, there are also Themed-Bars, for example:
Capcom Themed Bar
the Lockup, where you actually get lockedup in a cell through the duration of your meal
and my personal favorite: Robot Restaurant
where for 45 minutes you sit in a chair and question your own sanity
where 6 million women riding a variety of vehicles
race around this tiny room and dangle from a mind-fuck merry-go-round mounted to the roof
or the ceiling and they go round and round
and make your brain just crash
but for all the right reasons
Wow look at that!
It's a brand new Burger King!
Japan has been known to suffer from Galapagos Effect
where products and customs are developed independant from the rest of the world
and this has led to many of Japan's unique Product aimed specifically at a domestic market
For example over 10 years ago Japanese mobile phones were the first to have television and cameras built in
And Japan has a whole different type of car called the K-Car
specifically designed for narrower roads and shorter distances
Fast-food companies as well have some pretty cool variants specifically for Japanese people
Such as the McDonald's Premium Burgers wrapped up like iPods
or the KFC Premium Christmas Menu
where despite the cost of about 7000 yens
its still the most popular time of the year for KFC in Japan
Even holidays like Valentine's Day have subtle cultural differences
For example, on February the 14th for Valentine's Day
Girls give boys presents and then a month later
on a day called White Day, on March 14th
the boys return the gift to the girl
Happy White Day!
And it's said that the returning gift from the boy should be about three times the value
Or as I like to think of it
Three times the disappointment
Post-it notes!
So what you can do on the Post-it note, you can write
anything you want, then, when you're done
you can stick it!
Good British boyfriend!
No! Fucking British boyfriend!
There are also many opportunities to be at one with the animals
If you like Cats there are Cat Cafes of course
Cat windows
and even a Cat Island
where you can be overwhelmed by hundreds of friendly cats
Careful!!
And wonder what the hells going on
Ooooh not my coat!
And then in Nara, the ancient capital of Japan
there are deers who will walk up to you
and bow for food
And it's a beautiful thing
But if they don't get what they want, they will fuck you up
And will eat your face
So if you like cats or deers
This is the place to be!
To the eyes of Japanese people, a lot of foreign food
particularly British food
is considered worst than rabbies
and when you see the craftsmenship, precision and discipline
that goes into making traditional Japanese dishes
such as sushi or ramen
you see why!
And it is no surprise that last year
Japanese food was given Unesco World Heritage Status
In fact if you've never been to Japan
you may've never had real Japanese food
My own favorite dish is Ramen
comes in many flavors
it's amazing!
Which is of a soup with noodles
and usually some meat in and some vegetables
and it is amazing!
Just be careful as it is dangerously addictive
What..do you think......of Japanese culture?
It's good!
If you ever come to Japan, one thing is guaranteed
and that is excellent hospitality
Eccentric individuals
And the friendliest people you probably ever met
And many of my fondest memories are with strangers I met whilst traveling around Japan
For example on New Year's Eve back in 2012
a friend and I went to Nagano
and we had no plans, we didn't know what we were gonna do on NY's Eve
Then we went to a SevenEleven and we just got talking with two Japanese guys who were there
and they invited us to go with them to various clubs and bars around Nagano
and it was a fantastic, a memorable NY's Eve
Even if I was bought never-ending quantities of tequila
and was violently sick in the nightclub
But it also made the start of the year and was one of my fondest memories
not the..sick..the other bit
And if you come to Japan hopefully you too will return with many stories of the cool people
you met with and partied along the way
So I hope that convinced you or persuaded you to come to Japan
and yeah, look forward to seeing you soon!
I'll be waiting right here!
I won't!