-[ Whimpers ]
-[ Meows ]
-Hey, get away from them, you bitch!
-Ripley!
-Believe it or not.
♪♪
-Hey, Lorne, you busy?
-No, come in. -Oh, great.
You know, I get a little tired of this amateur night stuff,
so some film people and I went out and shot a short video
that I'd like to air.
Would that be okay?
-Steve, whatever you want. -Great.
Lorne, I present to you, "Lizard Cats."
-"Laser Cats." -"Laser Cats."
♪♪
-Behind these doors, gentlemen,
I give you the future of the laser combat.
Half human, half laser cat,
half robocop.
I give you Cyberface!
[ All gasping ]
[ Alarm sounds ]
Be not alarmed.
I have him under control.
-Error. Error. Error.
[ All scream ]
-[ Sighs ]
Best vacation ever.
-Yes.
Mars does have its perks.
Say, Kimosabe, what's up with the necklace?
-This old thing?
My no good father gave it to me
before he left me and my mom years ago.
[ Trumpeting ]
-Work never rests.
Hello?
Cyborg gone haywire?
Earth in trouble?
-Sounds like a cat-astrophe.
[ Meowing ]
-It's master locked.
-Out of the way, partner.
Switching to cold mode.
Aah!
-Whoa.
-That's one cool cat.
-Cyberface should be just up ahead.
-Wait, this can't be right.
-What is it? -According to this,
Cyberface is in this room.
Where did he come from?
-Welcome to the Terror Dome.
[ Laser fire ]
-Play time is over.
-Oww.
-Oh!
Looks like we're dead for, Kimosabe.
[ Alarm blaring ]
-No!
-Deactivating.
♪♪
-Son?
-Dad?
-There he is. Take him down.
[ Laser fire ]
-Noooo!
[ Voice breaking ] No, stop! You're killing him!
♪♪
-Nooooooo!
♪♪
-Dad.
-I'm sorry I left you, son.
-It's okay, Dad. Don't die.
-Nitro, take this.
Your brother has the other half.
♪♪
[ Beep ]
-But I don't have a brother.
♪♪
-Whoa!
-Good night, sweet princes.
[ Alarm sounds ]
[ Explosion ]
♪♪
-Right?
-Pretty mind-blowing, huh?
-Do you get that it's King Lear?
-Get out.
-[ Chuckles ]
I thought you meant me, too.
-I did.
-Hey, Lorne, thanks for meeting with me.
I really appreciate it. -James, of course,
and congratulations on "Avatar."
You know, there were sections
of it that reminded me of "Three Amigos."
-You picked up on that. That's great.
Look, I'm gonna cut to the chase, okay?
I've got my next project all ready to go,
and I think it's going to be perfect for the show.
-Well, if you're behind it, I'll put it on the air.
-Great. Okay, guys?
-Both: Hi! -Oh, [bleep]
-Cheers, Kimosabe.
[ Clink! ]
Ahh!
-Whoa, Kimosabe,
don't you care about the environment?
-Negativo. What's nature ever done for me?
[ Ringing ] -Oh, geez.
We're getting a call on our video glasses
from the science chief.
[ Beeping ]
-Admiral Spaceship, Nitro,
I'm sending you two back in time to the year 3023.
Your mission -- destroy the hive
where Laser Cats were first born
and stop Laser Cats from ever existing.
-Both: Badical!
[ Weapons cocking ]
-[ Meows ]
-Godspeed, boys.
[ Beeps ]
Welcome to the past, boys.
Been expecting you.
-Chief, you look exactly the same.
-Follow me if you want to live.
The central hive is just up ahead.
We have to destroy the eggs before they hatch.
[ Cat growling ]
-Oh!
-Aah!
[ All screaming ]
-Blast her!
[ Electricity crackling ]
-Chief was a robot!
-That's why he looked the same!
[ Whimpers ]
-[ Meows ]
-Hey, get away from them, you bitch!
-Both: Ripley!
-Believe it or not.
Come with me if you want to live.
Stay alert.
We're close.
-Laser bats!
-Game changer.
-Oh-oh-oh-oh!
-Aaaaahh!
-Nooo!
-He's gone.
We've got to move on.
-Okay.
-Ooh!
Oh, my legs.
I'll never walk again.
"Avatar" room?
-Thanks for the save back there.
-Save the love letters, kid.
We'll be lucky to get out of here alive.
Speaking of which...
-Yahtzee.
These are laser kitten eggs.
-And they're about to hatch.
♪♪
-[ Grunting ]
♪♪
[ Whirring ]
♪♪
-I'm all out of ammo. -Me, too.
Looks like this was a one-way ticket, Kimosabe.
-[ Screaming ]
-Spaceship!
-Quickly, make the connection.
♪♪
-Aahhh!
-He's using the power of nature.
[ Cat meowing ] -It's going to blow!
-We're staying.
-Good job, boys.
You've finally rid the world of laser cats.
Nitro...
thanks for being my wingman.
-Shh!
Save the love letters, kid.
♪♪
Aahhh!
♪♪
-Welcome back to the present,
where Laser Cats still exist.
-Both: Damn.
-I got to say, this movie,
combined with "Avatar," could make $1 billion.
-Get out. -No, I'm serious.
-No, I mean get out of my office.
-What if I offered you some unobtainium?
-No.
-It's really hard to get. -No.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hey, Lorne, thanks for meeting with me.
I think you're gonna love this idea.
-Of course, Tom. What's up?
-What is hot right now? Musicals.
"Glee," "Spider-man," the works. And what do I love?
-World War II? -Space.
So, what if we combined them
and made one super musical set in outer space?
-Sounds great. What's it about?
-Laser Cats.
-Tom, why are you doing this?
-They've taken something, Lorne.
Something very valuable to me.
Shall we watch it?
-Sure.
-♪ In the future, cats can shoot lasers out of their mouths ♪
♪ Laser Cats: The Musical ♪
♪♪
-Oh, yeah.
♪♪
-♪ Admiral Spaceship, quit making out with that model ♪
You need to focus on our shrink ray gun.
-I'm out of here. -♪ Babe, no ♪
♪ Relax, Nitro, the shrink ray gun already works ♪
♪ Watch me shrink that fruit ♪
[ Sighs ] It's designed to work on humans.
I just don't have the nerve.
-Believe in yourself, Kimosabe. It will all work out.
[ Trumpet plays ] Oh, geez.
[ Beeping ]
I'm getting a hologram message from base.
-♪ Nitro and spaceship, there's a new kind of music ♪
♪ That's been turning laser cats evil ♪
-♪ That sounds like the work of Droz ♪
-♪ The famous singer? ♪
-♪ One and the same ♪
♪ And he's performing tonight at Space Jam 3,000 ♪
-Space jam 3,000?
That's the coolest music festival in the galaxy!
-You bet it is.
♪ Your mission is to go there and take him down ♪
♪ Ooh-ahh ♪
♪ I got you all in check ♪
-♪ Lock and load ♪
[ Meow ]
-Watch out for that sand worm.
-[ Snarls ]
♪ We're sneaking and sneaking ♪
♪ We're sneaking into the concert ♪
♪ Shh ♪
♪ We're climbing, we're climbing ♪
♪ We're climbing into the concert ♪
Get out of the shot!
♪ We found it, we found it ♪
♪ We're gonna sneak right in ♪
Carmelo Anthony?!
-♪ I should arrest you guys ♪
♪ But you seem pretty cool ♪
Go, Knicks.
♪♪
-Look, this must be where Droz is playing.
-Let's go.
[ Applause ]
It's too late. He's taking the stage.
-Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming!
This is gonna be a real blast.
♪ Little, little, little laser pussycat ♪
♪ Shoot the lasers right out of your pussycat ♪
-There's a subsonic signal
that's attracting the cats to him.
-Laser cats, come to me!
-[ Slow motion ] No!
[ Audience screaming ]
-And now for the encore!
♪ Little, little, little laser pussycats ♪
[ Lasers zapping ]
Aah!
-He'll kill everyone! We've got to stop this music!
-Give me the shrink gun. -But it doesn't work.
-Believe in yourself, Kimosabe.
-Here goes nothing.
Whoa!
♪♪
[ High-pitched voice ] It worked!
-I knew you could do it.
Hey, Droz.
Suck on this.
-Whoa!
He's closing his mouth!
-Aim for the gap!
-Aaah!
Yee-ha!
-He's doing it! He's doing it!
-I'm doing it! I'm really doing it!
-[ Groaning ]
[ Meow ]
-So, what'd you think?
-I hated it.
-Fair enough. Tom?
-[ Voice breaking ] I'm just glad I got my Wilson back.
-Better. And what did you think, Wilson?
-I thought it was dope, dude.
-Musical!
-Lorne, thanks for meeting with us.
-Yeah, you're a real mensch.
-Guys, I'm not gonna do another laser cats.
-Okay, that's fair.
It's your show, and we respect that.
-But what if we told you that this Laser Cats
is directed by none other than Steven Spielberg.
-Spielberg?
-Yeah, well, good luck with that.
-Laser Cats! -Whoops!
-Steven?
-Lorne, I've made lots of movies,
but this is the best one yet! -We agree.
-Now, keep your eyes peeled for my Hitchcockian-style cameo.
You're about to get the thrill ride of your life!
♪♪
-Congratulations on your big promotion, General Nitro!
Just promise me you won't change.
-No way, no how, Kimosabe. We're friends for life.
Well, hey, enough about me.
Who's the new alien friend you found in your spaceshed?
-Oh, that's EAT. -EAT?
-Yeah, it stands for "extra awesome terrestrial."
He keeps me company when my wife and kids are away on Jupiter.
[ Beeping ] -Oh, gees!
Getting a message from base.
-Guess again, Nitro! I fooled you!
-It's the Space Nazi and Hornhead.
-In your possession is unst alien creature.
You hand him over to me by the end of the day
or Future York City
will suffer a cat-tastrophe of Jurassic proportions.
-No space dice!
EAT is my friend.
-Friend.
-Oh, I think that you will.
Anything to add, Hornhead?
-Aaaah!
Calima! -Bye.
-We're gonna need a bigger cat.
[ Hisses ]
-It doesn't make any sense.
Why would anyone want to destroy EAT?
-Admiral Spaceship, you're under arrest.
-Hand over the alien.
-Never! [ Weapons cock ]
-Mmmm.
Peace.
-Whoa!
-He turned their Laser Cats into normal cats!
-That's why everyone is after him!
He'll bring peace to the galaxy!
-What the...? Nitro!
Help! sorry, Kimosabe!
I'm a general now.
Gotta follow the rules.
-Nitro!
You changed!
Stop! You're killing him!
He just wants peace! -Peace!
Nitro!
Help us!
-I'm so sorry. [ Crashing ]
[ Crashing continues ]
-Tyrannosaurus cat!
[ All screaming ]
-Let's get out of here!
♪♪
-We've got to get EAT back to his home planet.
It's the only way.
-Hey, check out those old pedal machines!
♪♪
-An intruder alert.
-There they are! Blast them with lasers!
-Aaaah!
-Did you see my cameo?! -Homage!
-Like Hitchcock! -Hitchcockian!
-Catch me if you can, The Terminal!
-Always!
-It's a dead end! We're done for!
-Whoa!
-Yee-haw!
-That was...too close!
-Whoa! Awesome!
-EAT phone house.
[ Grumbling ]
-Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!
-Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!
Meow!
♪♪
-Badical!
[ Hissing ]
♪♪
-[ Grumbling ]
♪♪
-Peace!
♪♪
-Aaaah!
-He turned all the laser cats normal!
-Look, they're getting on the ship!
[ All meowing ]
I guess that's the end of that, Kimosabe.
-No, Nitro. I'm going with them.
-Wait! What about your wife and kids?
-[Bleep] them.
♪♪
-Spaceship!
-[ Sighs ]
-Man, so powerful. -Powerful.
-You know, I kept the original ending of "Close Encounters"
so all the haters would know I didn't go soft.
-That makes sense.
-Okay, Lorne, be honest. What did you think?
-I hated it. -Okay.
Now don't be honest.
-I thought it was great. -You hear that boys?
We're back in business! -Up top!
♪♪