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Welcome to Film Theory, the show *who’s your favorite fearless theorist* You guys
see Puss in Boots: The Last Wish?
Review in a word.
Wow!
We have come a long way from the original Puss in Boots.
Needless to say, I did not go in expecting this new movie to be all that great.
But DreamWorks basically kicked down the door and said.
The story's wholesome.
The characters are immediately iconic.
And the animation; man!
Between this film, Into the Spider-Verse and Mitchells versus the Machine.
Mickey and the gang got to be quaking in their boots.
Mouse in boots.
In case you haven't seen it yet, the Last Wish follows our hero cat as he realizes that
he's on the last of his nine lives.
And so he goes on an adventure to find a fallen star that will help him wish those lives back.
But Puss isn't the only one who wants that wish.
His former partner Kitty Softpaws, Goldilocks and her three bears crime family and the unapologetically
evil pie baron Big Jack Horner are all after it, too.
I love this guy.
He is one of my all time favorite villains.
And if that wasn't bad enough, a mysterious hooded wolf wants to claim Puss’s his last
life for himself.
Why?
Well, because he’s Death.
Yup.
The physical manifestation of death itself is after Puss in Boots because he doesn't
feel like Puss has respected the lives that he's been given.
That said, all of this about wishing for more lives and Death chasing him, it's all a moot point.
Puss should already be dead.
His ninth life is long gone.
Forget the Tumblr sexy man wolf or pie boy over there.
The biggest threat is Puss himself.
Based on everything that we see from him in this movie, he'd be dead multiple times over.
By my count, we're talking at least seven.
And I don't mean stuff like riding explosive fireworks or getting thrown into signs that
crashed through windows or anything like that.
No, you see, loyal theorists, almost every choice that Puss makes endangers his life.
Death is absolutely right about Puss playing it fast and loose with these lives.
But we're not talking about the big picture adventuring stuff.
I'm talking about all the mundane, everyday things that’s slowly killing this cat.
Puss in Boots is wasting his final life.
And I'm about to prove it to you.
Grab your star maps and your therapy dogs, loyal theorists.
It's time to dive in.
First of all, let's just start with what we see Puss in Boots eating throughout the film.
See, Puss eats and drinks a lot of stuff that would be super unhealthy for a cat.
And before you jump down into the comment section telling me that this is just a cartoon
with a magic cat MatPat, you need to stop taking all these things way too seriously.
First off, do you know what channel you're on?
Secondly, though, we absolutely should be taking a look at what Puss is eating and drinking
because we already know that it straight up was the cause of one of his deaths.
During that opening montage.
Puss Eats… eats shellfish.
During this opening montage, Puss eats shellf..
Wow.
That is… that might be one of the hardest tongue twisters in a long time.
During that opening montage, Puss eats shellfish and dies as a result.
WOO did it!
Now it's played for a joke in the movie.
But shellfish allergies are definitely a thing that can happen to a cat.
In fact, many of the symptoms are similar to what we see Puss dealing with in the film
Hives, as well as swelling of the face and limbs.
Admittedly, death is a bit of an extreme reaction to having this allergy.
Normally, symptoms for cats are more mild, including hair loss, rashes, blisters, scratching.
Though some cats do experience respiratory problems as a result of the swelling, which
can lead to their death.
Why am I bringing all that up?
Well, because it shows us that Puss in Boots is sensitive to this kind of stuff.
And throughout the movie, we see him consuming a lot of stuff.
That would be a no go for a cat.
Firstly, we're talking about Puss’s drink of choice, creme. or milk, I suppose.
We see him drink a lot of it throughout the movie.
It almost seems to have this alcoholic property for Puss, but that's not how real cats react
to drinking milk.
According to the People's Dispensary for sick animals, milk can be bad news for our feline friends.
See, adult cats are lactose intolerant.
Their intestines don't have the enzyme lactase, which would help them break down the sugars
in milk.
And even if they could physically drink it, you probably shouldn't be giving your cat
milk anyway.
Milk is full of fat.
Basically a saucer worth of milk would be the equivalent of a human eating an entire
12 inch pizza in a day.
And look at how much we see Puss in Boots drinking in just this movie alone.
Do you see all those empty glasses on the bar?
From this aerial wide shot I count at least eight empty glasses, plus the one that he's
working on.
And Puss isn't even done.
That right there is the equivalent of Puss eating nine plus full pizzas worth of fat
in just one sitting.
And this is coming the day after he had yet another milk binge.
So despite what all the old cartoons said about giving your cats milk as a treat, do
not do it.
It is just super unhealthy and can lead to cats becoming overweight and/or their early death.
So chalk up one extra death for Puss.
He met his maker through milk.
But perhaps even worse than the milk.
Coffee.
The opening fight against the giant of Del Mar we see Puss do this.
Caffeine is really unhealthy for cats to the point that it can be seriously dangerous for
them to consume considering their smaller bodies.
If you want to know more about how crazy dangerous caffeine can be in higher doses with humans,
we actually just did a video about that over on Food Theory.
But for a cat?
Side effects from a cat consuming caffeine includes an increased heart rate, abnormal
heart rhythms, vomiting, diarrhea, tremors and seizures.
According to the Pet Poison Helpline, a moderate amount of coffee can easily cause death in
small dogs or cats.
Now, before you start freaking out and hiding all your coffee in a locked box away from
your animals, a small sip of coffee probably wouldn't impact a young, healthy animal too much.
But Puss isn't that young anymore, so downing an entire cup of coffee like we see?
that is going to be bad news for this animal and might literally have been the end of him
if the bell didn't crush him to death mere minutes later.
Caffeine overdose, death number two.
But it's likely that puts would have died long before this movie.
In fact, he would have died during the promotional tour for this movie.
Are you kidding me?
A fictional cat got onto Hot Ones before me.
Screw that noise.
No, but he's killing me Puss, he's killing me.
But, yeah, he's probably killing you, too.
You see, the capsaicin in hot sauce is, as you might guess, dangerous for cats.
With studies showing that it can constrict breathing, cause severe irritation in the
throats and digestive system and in high enough doses cause death.
And when you're talking about a 2 million Scoville hot sauce, yeah I'd say that's a
fairly high dose for a feline.
And then, of course, you have the literal tankard of milk.
Hot Ones: Taking out Puss’s life before he even knew he needed a last wish.
Capsaicin calamity: death number three.
Seriously, Sean, when you do eventually have me on, I promise I won't make a mess of your studio.
So, okay.
Clearly Puss has himself some dietary issues, but there are other choices that he makes
that probably would have gotten him killed a lot sooner.
Specifically the whole “In Boots” thing.
Sure.
Your drip may be on fleek there, Puss, but you should not be wearing all these clothes
in your particular line of work.
I don't know if you've ever tried to dress up your cat, but they do not enjoy it.
In fact, a lot of experts recommend against dressing up your cat at all, mostly because
it causes them a lot of stress with no real benefit other than some fake internet points
for you.
But even if Puss is the exception here and enjoys his clothes, his attire will have deadly consequences.
Let's just start from the top, shall we?
First of all, the hat.
This one item of clothing would probably get Puss killed for two different reasons.
First, by wearing a wide brimmed hat like Puss does in the series, he wouldn't be able
to take full advantage of his whiskers.
You see, cats don't see the world the same way that we do.
They have a whole suite of abilities to help them sense what's around them, and their whiskers
are a crucial part of that system.
The whiskers act like a sort of radar able to sense changes in air currents, vibrations
in the air.
They also serve as the first level of alert if anything gets too close to their face.
Additionally, while a cat's long distance eyesight is good at very close distances,
they struggle to see anything that's closer than 30 centimeters in front of them.
As a result, their whiskers help them navigate that close up world.
By touching the whiskers against objects, they can tell where things are, how big they
are, even sensing their texture.
But the hat is going to stop all of that from happening.
It's going to change the airflow.
It's going to change vibrations.
It's going to prevent Puss from getting his face close to objects so his whiskers can
touch them.
Basically, the hat is going to be dulling one of his most important senses, or I suppose
I should say two of his most important senses.
You notice what else that covers?
his ears.
That would be a problem, regardless of whether you're talking about a human or an animal.
Basically, you're just muffling the sound, allowing enemies to more easily flank or sneak
up on you almost exactly like we see death do in the movie.
If Death here didn't want to be so dramatic, he could have killed Puss and gone about his
business without the cat being any the wiser.
But the dulling of his hearing is actually worse for Puss because he's a cat.
You see, cats have some of the best hearing of pretty much any animal you're going to
have around the house with a wider auditory range than both humans and dogs.
But we're not just talking about better hearing ranges.
Cats have a lot of muscle control over their ears and they're able to turn their ears towards
any source of sound.
I don't know if you've ever noticed that with any cats that you know, but if you make a
sound in a quiet room, just notice how their ears are able to pivot in your direction like
a big antenna or a radar disk.
This cool technique increases their hearing sensitivity by 15 to 20%.
Wearing a hat is going to eliminate all of that, and that's without even mentioning all
the other biological ramifications, wearing a hat basically nerfs all of a cat's hearing
benefits.
And all of this is without even mentioning the other biological ramifications, like the
fact that cats release a lot of their excess heat when stressed through their ears, meaning
that Puss is going to be sweltering in any battle he's in the middle of.
All in all, he may look dapper, but that's a Hat-astrophe that's waiting to happen.
Death number four.
Similarly Puss’s cape is also going to be causing him a massive problem.
For all intents and purposes, the cape is going to act like a collar, but just much
more dangerous than a normal collar.
See, though, putting a collar on your cat is usually fine and helps identify your feline
friend to strangers.
They can be dangerous in specific situations.
If they become snagged on some sort of object, like a branch or rock, then the cat might
be choked or strangled.
The cape is going to present all of the exact same problems, but ten times worse because
it's just a bolt of fabric that's hanging from his neck.
Puss’s cape is just an open invitation for him to be caught and choked, especially in
a fight with an enemy who's smart enough to just grab the thing.
And wouldn’t you know it, that's exactly what we see happen in this new movie.
Honestly, Edna mode from The Incredibles’s been right about this one for decades.
No capes!
It's death number five.
No escape for this cape.
But perhaps the worst in this whole attire?
The boots.
You ever notice how cats try to get anything that's stuck on their feet off?
Puss himself literally does this in the movie when he's forced to wear those little kitten
mittens.
Puss: Stupid Mittens
Cats don't like having their paws covered for a lot of reasons.
Some of them are kind of mundane, like the fact that there are scent glands in their
paws that help them mark their territory.
They're also comforted by needing their little cat beans on their owners' stomachs.
But other reasons are a lot more serious.
The most obvious one is that paw pads are a massive shock absorber.
They help cats remain quiet and stealthy.
Cats literally evolved to walk on their toes so they can move more silently.
Changing that up to loud heavy boots click clacking as Puss moves around is going to
give up a massive natural advantage that cats have as fighters.
Another problem?
Cats actually sweat through their paws, mostly when they're nervous.
Ever take your cat to the vet and notice that there's damp little footprints everywhere?
So if Puss in Boots ever gets anxious or scared, he's going to basically be standing in a pool
of his own sweat in the boots.
On top of getting himself a case of sweaty palms and dropping his sword everywhere.
Ha, I wonder if we've ever seen that in the movie.
But not only is it a problem in battle, it's also just unhealthy for Puss.
Sweating helps regulate your body temperature, cooling you by evaporating on the skin.
This works the same way with the sweat coming from cat paws, but it simply wouldn't be possible
if two of Puss’s paws were in leather boots that don't breathe at all.
They'd be sticky and gross and wouldn't help him cool off.
And if anyone is in need of staying cool, it's Puss.
Without the ability to sweat unimpeded Puss is running the risk of overheating, especially
during those anxious fits after he fights Death.
And on top of all of that, just like the hat covering his ears, covering up pussies, pores
are also going to be a massive disadvantage when it comes to his senses.
It’s not super common knowledge, but cats actually have tiny tactile hairs between their
pop pads that act similarly to whiskers.
These hairs not only act as a protective covering against debris, chemicals or exposure to the elements.
But along with nerve receptors in the pads themselves, they let the cat know a lot about
the ground that they're walking on.
What sort of material is it?
What's the temperature?
With the boots, he's losing basically all of the feedback that cats get from their paw
pads and the hairs touching the ground.
In short, it's a recipe for death number six: Death in Boots.
So is that it?
Did his vet/barber.
Have the right idea in the film when he said that Puss should abandon his outfit and retire?
that he should be living out his life with that old woman, Mama Luna, lounging around
the house as a normal house cat?
Well, not exactly.
Resigning himself to a life of pickles.
May just have been the most dangerous thing for him in the movie.
See, despite this being the simple, easy life for Puss in Boots, he should not be spending
his sunset years with Mama Luna.
And it all comes down to one super simple thing: poop.
You see, despite being played as a joke in the film, there's only one litter box in her
entire house.
Only one!
A single box for, how many cats does she have?
Dozens, at least.
If you pause the movie at this wide shot, you can count at least 45 cats in the house,
including Puss.
Frankly, that is just far too many cats to be sharing a single litter box.
Unless Mama Luna's cleaning that box every single time a cat goes potty, which she is
definitely not given how gross that thing looks and how comically long the queue is
to use it.
The cats are going to be actively stepping in each other's waste.
Not only is that just disgusting, this set up would create a hotspot for the spread of
disease between the cats.
The most serious of these fecal borne diseases is the type of coronavirus infection that
can mutate into feline infectious peritonitis or FIP, a disease that's commonly fatal to
cats.
So yet again, Puss choosing this life would probably have also led to his premature death.
Death number seven: One crappy way to die.
Honestly, if Puss really wanted to choose a life that wouldn't be courting death, that
wouldn't be putting him in constant danger for no reason.
He just needs to be a normal house cat.
So Puss, hang up your sweaty boots and your sound dampening hat and find yourself a nice
old lady who doesn't have 44 other cats.
All in all, by my count, Puss probably should have died a total of seven extra times than
we see recounted in the movie.
In total, we're talking about 15 deaths.
Looking at it that way, a sickle carrying wolf and a unicorn horn cross boing maniac
were probably the least of Puss’s concerns.
Really when it comes to valuing your life, a lot of times it's the little things, the
small, everyday decisions that ultimately add up to the life that's well lived.
Maybe that's why Wolfie was following him the whole time.
It wasn't to punish Puss for his reckless adventuring, but instead to consult him on
proper dress and a heart healthy diet to keep him alive longer.
Seriously, even if he got his wish for another nine lives, he'd still only have three remaining.
Why not ask for, like, I don't know, a hundred extra lives there Puss?
I guess counting really isn't your strong suit.
But hey!
Speaking of cats needing to eat better so they can live longer, healthier lives, let's
talk about Meow Mix, the sponsor for today's episode.
In case you don't know Steph and I have a cat named Skip who's been a part of our lives
and these channels for a long time.
A long, long time.
Long enough that he's not impressed with all that much anymore.
Just look at that face.
You know how a lot of things tend to get overwhelmed?
Well, that right there is one entirely whelmed cat.
He's been plenty of places and he's definitely seen some things.
But one thing that still gets Skip running is dinner time with Meow Mix.
Every day.
Boom! Highlight of the day he is right there that bowl enough so that and I'm not making
this up when Meow Mix actually sent us a bunch of product just to film with he literally
ripped into one of the bags that they sent us just to get at the food.
He was that excited and honestly, we couldn't be happier.
Meow Mix is the perfect food for Skip.
Despite his impressive bite strength, Skip's no spring chicken anymore.
He's now 12 years old and we want to make sure that he's able to stay healthy and strong.
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every essential vitamin and mineral he needs.
But it's also packed with protein to help keep his muscles strong.
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There's something here designed to satisfy even the pickiest of kitty cats.
So if you want to make sure that you're giving your cat food that they're going to love,
check out Meow Mix in all its varieties by clicking the link down in the description.
Again thanks to Meow Mix for sponsoring today's episode.
We appreciate it and Skip really appreciates it.
And as always, my friends remember, it's all just a theory.
A FILM THEORY!
aaaaaand cut.