-Michael, you are a great comedian, and part of your job
is to have strong opinions about all different kinds of things.
So with that in mind, it's time to play
a game we call "Wheel of Opinions."
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Wheel of opinions ♪
-Now, here's how this works. I'm going to hit this button,
which activates the Opinion Topic Generator, okay?
It will land on a random topic.
Whatever it is, you have to give your opinion on it.
-I'm with it. -Alright, here we go.
[ Beeping ]
-What was that?
-The phrase -- -Oh.
-The phrase "let's do lunch."
-I hate that phrase, "let's do lunch,"
because it's usually followed by "just so I can pick your brain."
[ Laughter ]
I hate that idea that people think if they buy me --
What is lunch, like a sandwich and a salad?
And you want -- You want me to tell you
everything that I know about show business?
[ Laughter ]
For a sandwich?
-Pick your brain.
-I hate pick your brain.
No. Ugh.
Pass.
-Let's do lunch.
-I hate that.
[ Beeping ]
-I see popcorn in there, cruise ships.
-What's this? Oh. -Pink lemonade.
-I don't know --
Okay.
I know what pink lemonade is,
but I don't -- I don't know what the pink is.
-No, me, neither. -Because lemonade is just lemon.
-Yes. -And pink lemonade
tastes different than regular lemonade.
-It does. -But then what is the pink?
'Cause it's not strawberry,
'cause that's strawberry lemonade.
So then what is the pink in the pink lemonade?
-What is pink lemonade?
It does have a bit of a more flavorful lemonade.
-Yeah, it tastes pink, but I don't know --
[ Laughter ]
I don't know what pink is --
For some reason, pink, purple, and red has a flavor,
and we don't know where those come from.
[ Laughter ]
-Let's get another topic. Here we go.
[ Beeping ] -These are random as hell.
-They're all --
[ Sputters ]
Bees. What's your opinion --
Do you have an opinion on bees?
-I -- Uh, yeah. Kind of. Sure.
For the sake of this game.
[ Laughter ]
I don't -- Okay, here's the thing about bees.
Like, the world's going to end because the bees are gone,
and nobody predicted that.
Why wouldn't that be one of the commandments?
[ Laughter and applause ]
Why wouldn't they tell us?
Like, "Oh, by the way,
keep the bees alive, or it's over."
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, that's interesting. Like, Nostradamus --
No one predicted it. -No one said the bees.
We just found out that we just got to keep the bees.
[ Laughter ]
I like to think when God comes back,
he's going to be like, "Where are all the bees?"
I left billions."
-"Yeah, I invented this amazing thing."
-It's all bees. The world's going to end
because of the bees.
-That's such a great opinion on bees.
I had no idea you were going to go there. Wow.
[ Cheers and applause ] I thought you were gonna go,
"I like them. I hate them. They sting."
-I got strong opinions about stuff that no one cares about.
-[ Laughs ] Let's try more. Why not?
[ Beeping ]
People who end e-mails with, oh, "thoughts"?
That's not fair. That's coming from --
'Cause I do that, dude. -Do you really?
-Yeah. -Oh, that sucks.
[ Laughter ] -Come on, dude.
-That's like the second-worst thing.
You know what I also hate that's in the same vein?
I hate when people say, "alright?"
on an answering machine.
Like, I can't tell you it's alright! Like, it's just --
"Alright, I'll talk to you later, alright? Alright, bye."
I hate that. -Yeah, you're not talking back.
-Yeah. "Thoughts" is -- I don't -- You know, e-mails,
it's like, "I don't want to give you my thoughts."
That's the whole reason for an e-mail.
It's like informal so you don't know what I'm thinking.
I'm just going to give you whatever the three responses are
at the bottom of Gmail.
I'm just going to give you one of those.
[ Laughter ]
-Let's do one more, please.
Your final topic is --
[ Beeping ]
[ Audience groans, laughs ]
-Did one of those say toe rings?
-Yeah, I saw that, too. Yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
What's your opinion, quickly, on toe rings?
-Oh, I don't -- [ Laughs ]
I wear shoes, so -- I'm wearing 10 right now, but --
-One on each toe, man? -Yeah, man.
I don't want kids. I want adults.
[ Laughter ]
I want adults. I don't want --
I have no interest in the kid part of your life.
I don't know when people got so obsessed with kids.
I have friends who have kids. They were weird.
[ Laughter ] And you go into their house,
and there's, like, toys in the couch, and it drives me --
Since when are kids allowed in the living room?
[ Laughter ]
When did that start
that you could be in the -- -They run it.
-Yeah, they're like, "Oh, do you want to play with Dylan?"
No, I'm a drunk man.
Why would I want to play with Dylan?
-Michael Che, everybody. [ Cheers and applause ]
All episodes of "That Damn Michael Che"
are streaming May 6th on HBO Max.