I wanna assemble a task force of the most dangerous people on the planet.
Worst of the worst.
Why don't we assemble a task force of highly trained professionals with no criminal background?
My god. That's absolutely brilliant.
They should have given you my job.
Oh well. Too late now.
Welcome to Gotham, Hancock.
Deadshot. Guy who shoots people.
Don't see many of those.
He's a crocodile and he eats people.
Oh, is he the one from that commercial?
Do you suffer from a reptile dysfunction?
I know I do.
That's why I take Iguanapam,
a rich source of anticroxidants,
to maintain that healthy mammalian glow.
There are side effects to every drug.
This guy burns people.
Hey man. Why the swamp face?
Buuurn! I got you good, friendo.
You're possessed by a witch.
Let's do something fun.
I think witches were sexier in my day!
- [CACKLE] - Mom!
You're embarrassing me in front of my new freaky friends!
Go and get yourself a glass of water or something.
You don't know me at all!
This guy's representing Australia.
He shouts a lot,
punches random people for no reason
and drinks beer on the job.
Hell, I'd be offended.
And she's just crazy.
What's that?
I should kill everyone and escape?
Sorry. I have a voice in my head.
And you should also kill Batman, Superman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Cyborg and The Flash.
That would really help our cinematic universe.
I mean, that would really help you.
Hearing voices. That's when you know your insane.
If you build it he will come.
I'm not building a BASEBALL FIELD!
I'm just... practising for this play I'm doing.
Let's go save the world.
You don't seem excited.
Well this is like the fifth or sixth time I've saved the damn world!
And I was not supposed to tell you that.
Wha--? What the?
I can't wait to show you my toys.
Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!
These toys suck. You got any Lego?
[WAILS]
[JOKER LAUGHS]
Joker! What the hell!
I've been trying to find a knife in the kitchen for like twenty minutes, you crazy hoarder!
The hell's wrong with you people?
- If you build it... - SHUT UP!!
We're bad guys. It's what we do!
You know what else bad guys do?
- Uh-oh. - Get brought to justice.
As in "League of Justice"!
- It's Justice League. - I'm sorry?
It's Justice League! You said "League of Justice" - it's Justice League!
Oh... shoot.
I'm so sorry Bruce. It must have been a slip of the tongue...
I have no idea why I just called you Wayne.
I mean Bruce! BRUCE WAYNE! I...
Oh boy, am I in trouble.
[HARLEY QUINN] What's that?
You want me to kill all seven members of the League of Justice?
[BATMAN] It's Justice League!
And who the hell are you talking to?
[HARLEY QUINN] Let's see who wins in Batman v Bat!
[BAT HIT, BODY DROP]
Bat wins! Now for Bat v Superman.
[SUPERMAN] Please don't waste your ti-- [BAT HIT, BODY DROP]
[HARLEY QUINN] How fortunate this baseball bat is made from sixty percent recycled Kryptonite.
Hey Wonder Woman!
[WONDER WOMAN] We Amazons have a word for women like you:
"Bitches". [BAT HIT, BODY DROP]
[HARLEY QUINN] So Aquaman, you live under the sea and talk to fish?
Pretty lame.
[AQUAMAN] But darling, it's better down where its wetter. [BAT HIT, SPLASH]
[HARLEY QUINN] Think fast, Flash! [BAT HIT, BODY DROP]
Lights out, Green Lantern! [BAT HIT, BODY DROP]
Your warranty's expired, Cyborg.
[METAL CLANG] OW!
[SCHWARZENEGGER] I am a Terminator, you fool!