Hi my name is Naomi ballet is my absolute favourite thing in the world but a condition
called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder put my dreams of dance on hold
My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD started when I was in Junior High I started to get
totally stressed out by the order of things. I was fixated on making sure everything was
put in the perfectly right place all the time. I felt like I had to do it, like I had no
choice. I knew that what I was doing didn't make any sense and that I should just stop doing
it but when ever I tried to stop something took over in my brain, I just had to keep
going. But that wasn't all, I also had these very
upsetting pictures in my mind, like dreams, but I was awake. They were images of terrible
things happening as a result of a mistake I made. I saw my grandparents being murdered
by an intruder who entered the house through a door I left unlocked I became convinced
that I was going to cause some life ending event as a result of my carelessness.
These thoughts and images were obsessions, people with OCD have all different types of
obsessions the important to know is that the obsessions are unwanted, intrusive and repetitive
thoughts or images and that the person experiencing them knows they are unreasonable and excessive.
Leaving my apartment for school in the morning was a nightmare, as soon as I closed the door
the images and thoughts started...what if I Ieft my curling iron on, what if I didn't
lock the door, something terrible will happen, my family will be hurt, it will be my fault,
I have to back and check. It felt terrible and I was almost always late for school. "Are you for real right now?"
The obsessions created so much fear and anxiety for me that I had to do something to make myself
feel better. I was afraid to tell my friend what was happening
in my head. I didn't want her to think I was loosing my mind. The obsessions kept building
and building until I couldn't stand it anymore. I didn't know what do to and to make it worse
compulsions began. A compulsion is something you do to reduce
the stress caused by a feeling that things aren't right. To get rid of that feeling you
need to do something...touching, counting, or chanting.
Compulsions makes you feel relieved for a short time before you know it the obsessions
are creating anxiety again and that brings back the compulsions, it feels like its never
going to end Just like with obsessions people have all
kinds of compulsions. Remember a compulsion is what the person does to get relief from
the anxiety the obsessions create
One of my compulsions was ordering, there was a time when I stopped going to school
because I would spend 5 to 6 hours in the my bathroom or kitchen making sure things were in there
correct place. It is so hard to explain in words, it felt like if I didn't arrange these
things that something terrible would happen. As soon as I walked away the overwhelming
stress would drive me back to repeat the same thing again. It was maddening, but I couldn't
stop, my life was going down the tubes
I have lived with my grandparents most of my life, they starting getting worried about
me when I wasn't able to go to school. Hey Grandma get over here
This is my Grandma, "Say hello to everyone Grandma"
"Hi there, I understand we are talking about your OCD
I remember when you were really sick, I didn't know what to do for you, it was heart breaking.
Sometimes I even helped you with your compulsions because I could see that was the only thing
that made you feel better. But it never worked for long.
The day we went to your paediatrician and got help it was a day I will never forget.
Your Grandfather and I love you so much but we needed help to know how to best help you"
"Naomi I know you are scared. It must be very hard to have so many obsessions
and compulsions and I want you to know that you are not loosing your mind.
You have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and its causing a lot of problems in your life
and I can help you with that. I want you to take the medicine prescribed
and also see a therapist The combination of the medicine and the therapy
will help you mange the intrusive obsessions and the overwhelming desire to engage in your
compulsions. Now image that each part of the brain is a
different building, the buildings are connected by pathways. On these pathways are messengers
that carry information between buildings. There is some evidence that people with OCD
have a lot of activity in certain parts of the brain. The chemical messengers in your
brain are to excited, running around like chickens with their heads cut off and causing
you to feel like you are constantly in danger and that something bad is about to happen.
By taking medication and working on your thoughts in therapy you will slow these messengers
down. Once they stop flooding your system with these messages you will have more control
over the thoughts and images in your mind and how you chose to deal with them. This
will help you control both your obsessions and compulsions"
The doctor was right, I went to therapy and learned to mange my thoughts better
The medication helped to slow things down better so I wasn't so afraid all the time
I was able to go back to school, spend time with my friends and get back in the dance
studio. I was able to tell my friends what was happening and guess what they didn't laugh
at me, they understood and were helpful My Grandmother was right I need help to get
my life back on track Getting help for my OCD was the best decision
I ever made. "Hey your on time, I am so glad you are managing
your OCD, it means less anxiety and more time shopping at the mall with me"
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a real medical condition if you or someone you know is experiencing
symptoms call a doctor and get help, you can also check out this website teenmentalhealth.org
for more information