So recently, I was agonizing over a crush.
He hasn't texted me in a week,
but his Venmo transaction history seems to indicate
that he's really busy eating pizza with his friends.
And a friend of mine who clearly took pity
on the pathetic rationalizations she was witnessing
sat me down and said, "You know, my mom
had the best piece of dating advice about how
to tell if someone likes you or not.
Yeah? Is it in his Venmo transaction history?
No.
How often he initiates texts? I made a chart
No. If they like you, you'll know
and if they don't,
you'll be confused.
What?!
Yeah, I'm sorry.
There you have it!
It's that easy. That's how easy it is.
I don't need to give you a three minute video for this shit.
The average person opens Instagram 150 times a day,
so guess what? Even though we like to tell ourselves that
they're busy, or
they're shy, or
they're intimidated.
Nope!
Stop making excuses.
It's simple, really it's simple.
If you're upfront with your interest and who you are
and they aren't reciprocating,
they are not your person!
Move on.
There's a billion other fish in the sea,
but there's also a lot of trash.
Oh, there's a lot of trash,
and you're going to be out there cleaning up the beach
looking for one solid shiny fish to bring home,
but you're wading through water bottles and plastic bags and mixed signals.
So if you're not getting a green light,
go!
Go off!
Like I am now.
Also, I'm doing my first headline show on July 24th
at the Moroccan lounge in downtown LA.
If you're interested, tickets are in the description below
as well as a VIP upgrade package
that comes with a meet-and-greet, early show and sound check access,
and a merch item.
Hope to see you there
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Good luck...
with the trash.