hi everyone this video focuses on how caring adults can talk to young people about suicide
to fully dive into this important topic please know that despite fears all the evidence shows
that talking about suicide does not cause people to consider ending their own life or even give
them ideas in fact just the opposite is true when the conversation is clearly done from a
place of caring and support talking about suicide significantly reduces the likelihood that someone
will attempt to end their life to understand why that's true consider this research consistently
shows that some of the most common experiences of people who consider ending their life by suicide
are one that they think that they are a burden on other people and two that they feel lonely or see
themselves as failing to belong when someone is considering suicide talking about suicide
openly and often is an essential part of helping to ensure their safety and it's the perfect
opportunity to have the conversation in a way that allows young people to know that you care about
them and are grateful not burdened they are having the conversation with you in these conversations
aim to show young people this with your tone of voice your body language and your words they need
to feel connected with you and feel that you are fully committed to helping them okay so here are
some tips for how you might achieve that think of the four c's appear calm confident consistent
and compassionate it's okay to feel differently on the inside but on the outside it's critical
that you show you can handle whatever your young person tells you you're not going to panic sob or
become angry you can see how those reactions could result in your young person concluding that they
really are a burden and alone in their struggles when i say consistent i mean that young people
need to feel confident that every time they talk to you about suicide you're going to have the same
helpful response calm confident compassionate and some of the other things that we'll get to next
which brings us to the next tip validation this involves recognizing to your young person their
deep felt emotional pain and how desperately they want their suffering to end telling them
that their emotions make sense and giving them specific reasons why for example you might say
something like you've been suffering for so long and no one seems to understand your experience
you've been trying so hard and your efforts aren't paying off the way that you need them to
it makes sense that you feel so hopeless about the future and even angry with other people including
me for expecting you to keep going as if it's easy to do notice how i only validated emotions i
never agreed with hopeless thoughts or the idea of suicide and that brings us to our next important
tip you must clearly say and be committed that suicide is not the answer that it is possible for
your young person to have their life worth living that you believe and are committed to supporting
their journey and this likely means supporting them in a way that you've not yet done or explored
the next tip it's helpful to express gratitude saying that you're genuinely
grateful that they've had this conversation trusted you been vulnerable perhaps grateful
that they've given you another chance because this conversation may not have gone well in the past
finally it's essential that you be authentic so the last tip is to simply be yourself your young
person needs to recognize you in this conversation not a professional their caregiver if you don't
normally speak in a soft tender voice don't do it for this conversation either your young
person needs to recognize that you that they know that they take seriously if you become emotional
during the conversation it's okay just be sure to reassure your young person that you're okay
and explain that your tears are in recognition of their struggle make sure that the conversation
stays focused on your young person's emotions not your own so you might practice this conversation
and get most of your feelings out before talking with your child or youth we never
want young people to feel that they need to take care of us when they are the ones struggling
having conversations about suicide is key ultimately it's okay if you don't know how
to help your young person feel better or create their life worth living your plan can simply be
to seek professional help a family doctor mental health professional or going to your nearest
emergency department and let's all agree there is no perfect way to have these conversations so
above all else be willing to be imperfect you are human we'll end on a quick note about self-harm
because when talking about suicide self-harm can come up and many caregivers describe themselves
to be thrown off a little bit because they're not quite sure how suicide and self-harm are related
so self-harm involves purposely harming oneself without the intention to die you may know that
your young person is engaging in self-harm or can simply ask by saying something like
have you ever hurt yourself on purpose if they are it's important to ask whether their intention
is to end their life or something different so many people who engage in self-harm will
often say that they have no intention of ending their life and self-harm is entirely to cope
with stress feel something punish themselves or express a need for help so when young people harm
themselves on purpose without any intention to end their life it's very different from suicide
however self-harm can make it more likely that someone will die by suicide because people can
become used to pain with self-harm which can actually make the idea of suicide less scary
and more of a possibility when things are stressful additionally accidental death can
occur with self-harm and so we always want to take it seriously the more open the conversation with
your young person the more you'll know and be able to keep them safe and recognize when involving
professionals is a good idea be sure to check out the other videos in this series for other
important information on how to prevent suicide and for information on how to access mental
health services and supports please check the comment box below thanks so much guys take care