- Before I begin, I must stress
that I'm trained in couples therapy.
- Duh. That's why we hired you.
- But you two aren't a couple, correct?
You're just friends?
- Yes, Gary. God! - Keep up.
- Okay.
Why don't the two of you tell me
why we're all here, especially me?
- Gary, will you let us just talk?
- It's okay. Ian.
I'll begin.
[sighs] Okay.
It all started this morning
outside the storage room.
[harp music]
- Wait! No, no, I wanted to do the flashback music.
- All right, fine. Whatever.
- Okay.
It all started this morning
outside the storage room.
[harp music]
We were having the same conversation
we always have.
- So where do you want to go for dinner after work?
- I don't know. What do you feel like?
- I feel like I want you to decide for once.
- Okay, Chinese.
- No, you know I hate Chinese!
- Well, don't ask what I want
if you don't want to know the answer.
But then things got weird.
[all screaming]
[laughing]
[dramatic beat]
- I was really upset.
- Sure, walking in on employees disrespecting your space
would be upsetting to anyone.
- What? No, that part was fine.
I was upset because Ian and I
just don't find the same things funny anymore.
- How could you not find that utterly hilarious?
- I don't know. It just didn't grab me.
- Gary...
you have to help us get our spark back.
- Please.
[playful music]
- [man singing] This is America
Land of dreams
Everyone can climb higher
- [women singing] Not you, though
You're stuck here
'Cause you're a part-timer, yeah
- [man singing] You can do anything
- [woman singing] As long as it's not hard
- [man singing] And you can go anywhere
- [woman singing] As soon as you get a car
- [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success
- [woman singing] Come on, that's not who you are
- [man singing] You're a part-timer
Cursed with full-time dreams
And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems
Bad as it seems
What the [bleep] are you doing here?
Whoa
What the [bleep] are you doing here?
Oh
Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?
- So you guys don't find the same things funny.
That's okay.
Lots of couples outgrow each other's senses of humor.
- We don't want to hear about you and your wife, Gary.
- Yeah, ew.
- I wasn't--
never mind.
Let's try to find some common ground.
Anton, what makes you laugh?
- I don't know.
I guess...
Okay, you know those posters
with a cat hanging on a clothesline
with a caption that reads, "Hanging in there"?
[both laughing]
- Oh, wonderful stuff.
Ian, are you seeing the humor here?
- No.
The only thing that's worse than a cat in a poster
is you two right now.
- Let's try to keep it positive, Ian, okay?
Why don't you share something that you find funny?
- Okay, sure, yeah. Gee, let me think.
Uh, Pete naked playing beauty shop
with Mads' hair.
[harp music]
- Stop laughing, dude!
We were nervous about our first kiss.
- So we decided to get more comfortable
but helping each other get over our worst fears.
- Aw. That makes sense.
- Pete is helping me get comfortable
with another person touching my hair.
- Yeah, and Mads is helping me get comfortable
being naked in front of a girl.
- Aw, Pete,
you're way lamer than I thought.
- Dude, shut up.
I think it's sweet.
- [spits with laughter]
- Leave us alone!
- Yeah, you're so... insensitive, man.
Body issues are real.
- Body iss-- [laughing]
You're so skinny!
Oh! Oh!
- [laughing hysterically]
[harp music]
[laughing]
Oh, now, that's what I call comedy.
- This therapy sucks. I'm going back to the past.
- Ian? Ian!
Put the harp down, Ian.
Let's stay in the present so we can work this out.
- The present sucks.
There's no naked hair play here.
- Now, I'm going to throw some funny things out there,
and you guys can giggle
whenever something tickles your fancy.
[laughing]
Ahhhh.
How about some physical comedy?
I'm going into the basement.
- Yeah, that's only funny 'cause of what you're wearing.
- Is it, though?
Or is it funny because
there's no basement door down here?
Ha ha!
I can't hear laughter.
- This guy's the worst. - Seriously.
- Okay, there's no need to be rude.
- Oh, sorry, I thought you were in the basement.
- Ian, why don't you just finish telling your story?
- Now? - Go on without me.
I threw out my back.
- Finally.
[harp music]
Pete and Mads went looking for some privacy.
So, naturally, I followed them.
- Stop spying on them.
They're having a nice moment.
At least someone around here should.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Oh, I don't know.
I started working out two weeks ago,
and you didn't even notice.
- Uh, yeah, that's 'cause I don't see you naked?
And besides, you're one to talk.
You totally missed our friendiversary last month.
- Oh, yeah? And what would we have done?
Gone to get Chinese food even though you know I hate it?
- Okay, look, I can't help it if my palate
is a little more sophisticated than yours.
- Oh, so now you're better than me?
- Shut up!
- See, you used to talk to me with respect.
- No, I mean, like, be quiet for a second.
I think they're about to do the tongue-dango.
They're--they're about to kiss?
- Um...so...
- Uh, you think it's gonna rain?
- Are you serious right now?
Why aren't you kissing me?
- I'm nervous.
I say trivial weather stuff when I'm nervous.
- I have an idea.
Why don't we pretend to be other people?
Then we won't have to be so nervous
about our first kiss.
- Yeah. Good.
You know who I want you to be?
- Who?
- JK Rowling.
Hot!
- Um, 'kay.
[clears throat]
And who would that make you, sir?
- Well, if you're the famous author,
that makes me...
Your publisher.
- Ooh, am I on a really tight deadline?
- The tightest.
And, you know, if I don't get your pages soon,
I might just have to take back your three-book deal
and your advance.
- Ooh, I love the pressure.
- Oh, me too.
[soft music]
- JK Rowling? Ha!
Dude, your sexual fantasy is so not freaky,
it's freaky.
- Ugh!
[with British accent] I can't get any writing done in here.
You'll have to find a place more private.
[in regular voice] Oh, and when you do,
bring that beard.
You know which one.
- Well, excuse me, gentlemen.
Seems there's a book that needs some publishing,
and I'm the only guy for the job.
- Aw.
Did you see how much they like being around each other?
- What?
Okay, how are you not finding this hilarious?
[harp music]
Anton: And that's when we decided
to hire a good therapist.
- But they were all booked, so we settled for you.
- The feeling is mutual.
Let's try one more exercise
before we throw in the towel
and I never, ever come back again.
- Okay. - Good.
- I'll re-create a moment of conflict,
and we'll play out a resolution
that was better than what happened.
[dramatic music]
Now, I'm Pete, and this is Mads.
How does that make you feel?
- [laughs]
- I feel like this doesn't remind me of Pete or Mads,
and now I'm gonna need therapy for this therapy.
- What are you talking about? This is hilarious, man.
- This might be working for you, but it's not doing it for me.
- Don't worry, Ian. Now it's your turn.
Anton, I would break this over your head,
but the board of California prohibits me
from hand-to-hand combat with patients.
- But nudity is allowed?
- I don't make the rules, Ian.
You'll have to do it. - What?
- Go ahead, Ian.
It's the only way you'll empathize
with why Anton was laughing at your head wound.
- Okay, I take it back.
This therapist is awesome. Rock on, Gare.
- How is any of this supposed to help?
- Anton, let the healing in.
- I'm gonna heal the shit out of you!
- No! - Get back here!
- No. [plate shatters]
[Gary moaning]
[both laughing]
- Oh! - Talk about a head case.
- Hey-oh! [both laughing]
And look at that.
We're laughing at the same thing.
- We're back, man.
Wow, Gary. You're a great therapist.
- Yeah, I mean, I still hate you but less,
which is an important step for me.
[romantic music]
- Finally, some privacy.
You found your beard.
- [giggles] Yeah.
I ran all the way home.
I know how much you like it.
- [with British accent] So are you ready
to collect my draft, Mr. Random House?
[both laughing]
Okay, beard fantasy is officially over.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know what?
We don't need to hide behind anything anymore.
I love you, Pete.
- I love you too.
- Give me that beard.
- Here, just kind of rip hard.
- All right. - Yeah.
- [grunting] - Ah.
- Ah! - Mads!
- [screams]
[thud] - Mads!
- I'm okay!
I landed on a pile of car wash rags.
- [sighs]
[engine roaring]
[tires screeching]
- Noooooooo!