-Now, you are respected for your leadership,
so I thought that we'd have some fun by asking you,
once and for all, to settle some of the biggest debates
of all time. Does that sound okay?
-Yeah, I don't think this is fun. This is serious.
-Yeah. That's right.
Let's do it. -And I'm prepared.
-It is time for "Obama Settles It."
♪ -Ohh, Obama settles it ♪
♪ Obama settles it ♪
-Ow! First issue --
-I like the little lead-in, by the way.
-Not bad, that was -- -That was pretty good.
I might use that at home.
-[ Laughs ]
The Roots really went for it. -At dinner.
-Yeah. Alright. First issue.
Does the person flying in the middle seat get both armrests?
-No. -Yeah.
-No. You know, they have to choose one.
-[ Laughs ]
If you're a righty, you -- yeah, you'd have to choose one.
Yeah. You can't get both. -You got to choose one.
You can't have both, no. -I agree. Good, settled.
Next -- Oh, I know where you're going to go with this.
New York style or Chicago deep dish?
-I'm going to go contrary to type on this.
-What?! -I love Chicago deep-dish pizza.
-Yes! -I love my hometown.
-Yes. -But New York style,
being able to fold it, walk while you're eating,
there's an efficiency element to it that,
I think, puts it over the top.
No offense, Chicago.
I love our pizza.
I'm just saying. -It's settled.
-New York's a little more practical.
Chicago deep dish is basically you have to sit down.
You eat it like lasagna, right? You can't be walking around.
-It almost feels the same weight of your book.
One slice of Chicago deep dish.
I do love it as well.
Follow-up to this question, and this is --
I think this is another no-brainer.
-This is a no-- No pineapple.
I'm from Hawaii and I know you can't have pineapple on a pizza.
-Thank you. Thank you. This is fantas--
-That's just wrong.
-It is. Yeah.
No. Good. Sorry I even asked. Alright.
-I settled that. Next.
-This comes up every December.
Is "Die Hard" a Christmas movie?
-No. -Yeah, I agree.
-No, "It's A Wonderful Life" is a Christmas movie.
-That's right.
-"Charlie Brown Christmas" is a Christmas movie.
"Die Hard" is an action flick
that happens to involve, tangentially, Christmas.
-This is unbelievable.
This is the best interview I've ever done.
Alright. Next.
Is it okay to put ketchup on eggs?
-No. -[ Laughs ]
-Next. -[ Laughs ]
Got it. Should the -- -That's wrong. Next.
-Should the toilet roll hang under or over?
-Over. -Yeah.
-It's got to be over. -Yep, I agree.
-Tears off easier. Neater.
-The other thing is silly. It's a mistake.
Yeah, I agree. -It's a mistake.
-Is a hot dog a sandwich?
-No, a hot dog's a hot dog.
-[ Laughs ]
-A sandwich is a sandwich.
-Even the way you said that was perfect.
A hot dog is a hot -- Someone's going to remix that
into, like, a dance jam.
Hot dog's a hot dog.
Alright. How do you pronounce the word
at the bottom of my screen?
-Pe-cahn.
-Okay. Okay.
-Oh, are you disagreeing with me on this?
You go with the "pee-can" thing?
-Yeah, pee-can. I mean, I'm not even really --
I'm not -- -Pee-can.
-I'm not even a fan of the pecan, even though that rhymes.
But pe-cahn sounds snooty to me.
Snooty nut. -[ Laughs ]
It's a little snooty? It's a little elitist?
-It's vas. It's face vas.
[ Laughter ]
-Alright. -Oh, how about this one?
Edge pieces, brownies.
The best or the worst?
-Best.
-Yeah, I agree with you, too.
-A little crunch. -Yep.
-The sort of sugar crystallizes a little bit.
-Yep, I agree. -It's nice.
-I agree. I love it, too.
Take a look at this.
Is the Mona Lisa smiling?
-Slightly. -[ Laughs ]
-It's the Mona Lisa smile, of course.
It's a Mona Lisa smile. It's a type of smile.
-She's got secrets.
-It's a sly, secretive, "cat ate the canary" smile.
-Uh-huh. I agree. -That's what's going on.
-Yep. Next, is cereal a soup?
[ Laughs ]
-[ Laughing ] What?
-I mean, it's like a liquid in a bowl --
-I mean, some of these were actual controversies.
This one, no. What does that mean?
-Sorry. I don't know how that got in there.
-Come on. Move on. Next. -I'm sorry.
I don't even know how that got in there.
-That's terrible. -I agree.
Should you tell someone
if there's food stuck in their teeth?
-Yes. -Yeah.
-Unless it's somebody you don't like.
-[ Laughs ]
-And then you might just kind of let 'em suffer a little bit.
It's a small, little bit of --
-It's a small jab. -You know, little, small --
small bit of shade that you can throw.
-Yeah, I agree. -Without big moral implications.
But if you care about them, yeah, obviously.
-Yeah. If you made a sandwich,
would you cut the sandwich diagonally or horizontally?
You have to cut it.
-I was about to ask.
I tend not -- -[ Laughs ]
-I always think, you know, the people who cut the sandwich,
I admire them because I think, oh, you know, wow.
You -- You -- -Wow. You went the extra step.
-That seems like, probably,
what I should do, and, yet, I never do it.
-No, me neither.
-But I guess, if I had to cut it,
maybe I'd go with the diagonal because there's something about
the point of the -- the pointy edge of the sandwich
that you can put in your mouth a little bit...
-It's an angle. It's a good bite.
-...more efficiently. There's an angle.
-Yeah, it's like the edge of the brownie.
I wish I wrote that one down.
It's like I'm talking into a mirror is what it's like.
[ Laughter ]
Finally, last one. One more.
Is the glass half empty or half full?
-It is always half full.
-You heard it here first.
Thank you, President Barack Obama,
for settling the biggest
and most important debates of all time.
"A Promised Land" is out now, everybody.
We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show."
Thank you so much! -Thank you, Jimmy.